


Tainted Heart

by lindseyluvsdrag



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Multi, pearlet, rpdr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-03 02:05:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 48,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6592303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lindseyluvsdrag/pseuds/lindseyluvsdrag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Trigger Warnings: Smut, Self Harm, Character Death, Suicide Attempt, Blood, Mentions of Domestic Violence, Tears</p>
    </blockquote>





	Tainted Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Huruhara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huruhara/gifts).



> Trigger Warnings: Smut, Self Harm, Character Death, Suicide Attempt, Blood, Mentions of Domestic Violence, Tears

 

Jason gently ran his fingers through Matt’s soft, sandy brown hair as the boy’s light snore tickled his bare chest. He caught a glimpse of the thick gold band that decorated his left ring finger and was reminded why he’d stuck with the miscreant for the past four years; through the good times and more recently, the bad.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you more than pizza,” was Matt’s sleepy reply.

“I didn’t know that you were awake.”

“Only for a minute,” he yawned. The boy stretched out his limbs and popped his toes before turning to look up at his husband. “I’m hungry.”

Jason stared back into the crystal clear, aqua colored eyes that always seemed to have an eager glint in them; a child-like innocence and passion for living in the moment that made the brunette want to do the same. The vitality of the bedroom eyes allowed Matt to convey everything he was feeling with simply a look. And although he was partial to the boy when they met, Jason had always been fascinated by the depth of the beautiful pools causing him to inevitably fall in love.

“What would you like to eat?” the brunette asked.

Matt rested his chin on Jason’s chest as he raised an eyebrow; mischievous ideas running through his mind. “Can you make fried ice cream?”

“Matthew, you are _not_ eating ice cream for breakfast. Fried or otherwise,” Jason said sternly. “It’s not the healthiest thing, and Dr. Sutan wants you to watch your cholesterol.”

“I’m twenty-five years old and I’m as healthy as a horse. What does that chump know?”

“A lot more than you!” Jason laughed. “Now get up so I can shower. I want to be at work a little earlier to get some paperwork done.”

“Come on, babe,” Matt whined. “You only live once and I’m pretty sure I’ll die if you don’t make it.”

“That’s a little dramatic.”

Matt pouted. “Please?”

“How about oatmeal and sliced fruit?”

“What am I ninety?! I’d make it myself but you’re the one with the culinary background. Plus, I like our apartment and I don’t want to burn it down,” he chuckled. When Jason continued to deny his husband’s request, Matt changed his strategy. “I _demand_ that you make some fried ice cream,” he said uncompromisingly.

“And I _demand_ a reasonable husband,” Jason retorted in the same tone.

Matt raised both of his eyebrows. “Oh? _I’m_ unreasonable?” he asked incredulously.

“Absolutely.”

“Really?” he asked once again before placing his full pink lips on his husband’s chest.

“Yes,” was the brunette’s breathy reply.

The boy began to leave a trail of soft open mouth kisses along the brunette’s stomach and hips.

“Matthew,” he warned. “We have work soon.”

Matt gave Jason’s hip, one of his favorite erogenous zones, a firm yet gentle bite, eliciting a squeal from the brunette before retreating under the white satin sheets; roguish grin plastered across his face. He wrapped his arms around Jason’s thighs and nuzzled his crotch through the thin fabric of his cotton boxers.

“Babe,” said the brunette in a feeble protest. He attempted to wiggle out of his husband’s grip, but Matt kept his hold tight.

“Are you gonna fry the ice cream?” he asked from underneath the sheets.

“It’s not good for you,” was his steadfast response.

“Neither is loving you so much, but I still seem to manage.”

“Matthew, you’re not getting any of that junk and that’s final.”

At the sound of the words, Matt hooked his fingers into Jason’s boxers and pulled them down enough to expose his husband’s semi hard cock. A few soft kisses on the porcelain shaft was all it took to get the member to grow completely stiff. Matt wasted no time taking the tip into his mouth, causing Jason’s weak opposition to stop completely as his eyes snapped shut. His back arched and he immediately became lost in the euphoric pleasure.

The warmth that radiated through Jason’s body as his husband’s talented mouth worked over him was enough to get his toes curling. Matt pulled away and licked shaft, gliding his tongue up and down, flicking gingerly over the tip before wrapping his lips completely around Jason once more.

“Fuck, that’s amazing,” he moaned out, letting his hands fall to his sides, gripping the cool satin sheets within his fingers as Matt continued to expertly go down on his husband for the next several minutes.

Jason held off for as long as he could, but just when he thought he was going to explode all over the place, Matt slid his mouth off of his cock with a pop that seemed to echo in the room. The brunette let out a whimper, but he was too far gone to even care how pathetic he sounded.  
  
"Matt,” he groaned. “I’m so close. Please, don’t stop.”

The man nibbled along the side of Jason’s shaft, teasing him to the brink of a insanity. Jason reached beneath the sheet and attempted to stroke himself to a finish, only to have his husband slap his hand away.

“Matt, please,” the brunette begged. “It’s starting to ache.”

“Fried ice cream,” Matt whispered against the sensitive skin of Jason’s cock.

“Okay. Okay, baby. Whatever you want, just please stop torturing me.”

A smug smile spread across Matt’s lips before they were wrapped around his husband’s cock once again.

“God, that feels so good,“ Jason gasped.

Matt wrapped his fingers around the base of his cock and gently tugged while his mouth moved back up over the shaft, letting the tip slip past the threshold of his throat each time he slid down.

"Fuck, baby, I’m gonna cum,” he blurted, giving the man a warning as his balls tightened and he teetered on the edge of losing all control. Matt merely tightened his grip on Jason’s thighs and sucked harder, bringing him to an orgasm like no one else could. His name began to tumble from the brunette’s mouth repeatedly as he shot load after load of cum down his throat.

As Jason panted in attempt to control his breathing, Matt gave his cock a final kiss on the tip before emerging from beneath the sheet.

“Why do you do this to me?” Jason asked, voice still breathy.

“To get what I want,” Matt admitted sheepishly before kissing his cheek and pushing himself off of the bed, leaving his reeling husband to stare around their bedroom. Per Matt’s request, the four walls were painted navy blue which complimented the crisp white linens and the warmth of the mahogany stained furniture.

A few of Matt’s paintings hung proudly as the main decorative pieces in the simply arranged space. They were some of his earlier creations he’d made as a young professional when he took up residency at his local art gallery. It was at one of his first showcases that he’d met the brunette who had opinions and wasn’t afraid of vocalizing them.

——

_Four years earlier…_

Jason walked down the grimy Brooklyn street with his best friend, Dax, desperately in search of somewhere to eat. The older nerd had finally convinced the brunette to move to the big city, promising more opportunities than their hometown of Atlanta could’ve ever offered. Jason was shocked that he was able to obtain a well paying job at the bank as a loan officer within a week of his arrival. And due to a toxic relationship and bad breakup with his ex-boyfriend, he had sworn off of all men until he could get himself together so that he would never have to be vulnerable again.

But as he walked with Dax, he was convinced that nothing was more vulnerable than being hungry with an optimistic friend who was known to do spontaneous shit at any given moment which could possibly delay getting food for several more hours.

“There’s a cute little café just around the corner,” Dax assured.

“Better be,” Jason replied curtly. “You know how I get when I’m hungry.”

His friend’s eyes grew wide as he nodded. “You’re a grouch,” the boy said before stopping abruptly. “Aw, J, look! RuGala has new art exhibits,” he said excitedly.

“We can’t eat art, Dax,” Jason hissed.

“I know but it’s so chic! Let’s just look at a few pieces, I’m sure they’re fabulous and you need décor for your new place.”

“I’ll draw on the walls myself, hell, I’ll even punch a few holes if I don’t get food, _now_ ,” he fumed.

Dax turned to his friend and pouted. “Please? I’ll even buy you one myself. Galleries are just fun. And besides, I saw complimentary champagne and cookies through the window.”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Fine. But only for the refreshments.”

The two entered the open door and were immediately split up when Dax stopped to examine the first painting while Jason quickly besieged the snack bar. He scooped up a handful of the free chocolate chip cookies and a glass of champagne before guiltily attempting to blend back in with the crowd.

Jason walked about the gallery, stuffing the desserts in his mouth before stopping in front of one of the paintings. His nose wrinkled in distaste for the abstract streaks of gold, navy blue and crimson paint strewn about the canvas titled _Roman Sunset_. The boy leaned forward to get a clear view of the price and scoffed when he read _$300_.

“They’re insane,” he said aloud to himself.

“They must be,” a low musical voice replied from behind him.

“Right? I mean give me a bucket of paint. I’ll slather it onto a canvas, call it art and charge five hundred bucks for the bullshit.”

“Bullshit?” the voice asked.

“Yeah,” Jason said as if it was obvious before turning around. He was greeted by an extremely handsome man complete with tousled dusty brown hair and a septum piercing that screamed hipster. The guy was far from his type, but there was something about his marble esque eyes that seemed to hypnotize him, nearly making him lose his train of thought. “Huh?”

The boy chuckled, stepping closer to the art that hung on the wall. “You said this painting was bullshit.”

“Oh, duh,” the brunette said as his memory caught up to him. “It is. Since when has art gone from masterpieces like the Mona Lisa to some idiot playing finger paint and getting filthy rich off of it?”

“That’s an interesting way to look at it.”

“It’s the truth,” he assured.

“Well, have you checked out the other pieces of this collection? There are a few sketches, a portrait, a-”

“No,” Jason scoffed. “This nonsense right here was enough. I need to grab my friend so we can get the hell out of here because I’m starving.”

“What if I told you that the artist has always dreamed of going to Rome and this was his interpretation of the world’s most beautiful sunset that he’s only been able to see via photographs?”

“Then I’d tell him to save money on these ugly paint colors and invest in a one-way ticket to Rome instead.”

“Ugly paint colors?” the man said with an exaggerated gasp. “It took me weeks to find the perfect shade of red-orange to mimic the rays of the sun as they highlight the landscape.”

“The colors are extremely ugly and-” He froze. “Did you say it took _you_ weeks to find the color?”

The stranger nodded.

“You’re the artist…”

Amused by Jason’s expression, he simply nodded again. “Oh, no. Wait. The ‘finger painting idiot’ as you so delicately put it,” he chuckled.

“I’m so sorry,” the brunette offered.

“It’s more than okay. I found your honesty refreshing,” he said with a devastatingly beautiful crooked smile that enhanced the twinkle in his eye.

Too embarrassed by his brash attitude, Jason didn’t get a chance to get lost in the boy’s eyes for a second time. “Well, I’m sure your other stuff isn’t junk. Not saying this one is _complete_ junk but- damn,” he groaned in exasperation.

Matt simply chuckled as Jason continued to speak.

“I’ve had my daily dose of putting my foot in my mouth,” he sighed. “Here.” Jason handed his champagne glass to the artist. “It’s clearly time for me to go.”

“Wait,” the man pleaded. “I never got your name.”

“Jason, the art critic,” he joked.

The stranger laughed as he extended his hand. “Matt.”

Jason returned the gesture, hand immediately engulfed in the soft, paint stained skin. He glanced back into the the boy’s eyes and his breath became caught in his throat.

“You smell incredible. What is that?”

The brunette pulled his hand away. “A little thing called soap. Ever heard of it?”

“You are one hot tamale,” Matt said, obviously smitten.

“And I’ve been known to burn people.”

The boy smirked. “I’m into that.”

Jason rolled his eyes.

“So now that you’ve completely demolished my ego, I think you should let me take you out to make up for it.”

“Is that how you get people to buy your work?”

“No, but that’s a good idea! So what do you say?”

“I say that you’re not my type and I will have pass on that offer.”

“Type?” Matt asked with wide eyes. “I’m not gay. I was just thinking we could’ve gone out for drinks or something, but yikes.”

At the revelation, Jason’s pale skin flushed bright crimson. “There’s that foot again,” he said under his breath. “It just seemed like you were flirting with me. Now I feel kinda stupid for flattering myself.”

“Well, keep flattering yourself cause I’m totally kidding. I’m very gay and I’m flirting with you so hard that your boxers should be around your ankles any minute now,” he laughed.

Jason simply replied with a blank stare that made Matt uneasy.

“I’m joking…”

The brunette rolled his eyes and glanced over Matt’s shoulder before turning around, scanning the room for his friend as the artist continued to speak.

“I guess my sense of humor is a little stupid, not everyone gets it. My mom tells me to grow up like every other day,” he chuckled. “But I do think you’re quite beautiful and-”

“Finally,” Jason grumbled as he pushed past the artist.

“There you are,” Dax said as he approached before pausing. “Am I interrupting something?”

Jason quickly shook his head. “No, I’m ready to get out of here. I’m starving and I’m severely pissed at you for wasting my time. Let’s leave, _now_.”

“Calm down, sass. You could at least introduce me to your friend.”

“We’re not friends,” was the brunette’s instant reply.

The artist smiled and approached, extending a hand to Dax. “I’m Matt, one of the featured artists.”

“How cool,” he beamed as he returned the gesture. “Which collection is yours?”

“The Roman ‘bullshit’,” he chuckled.

“It’s not bullshit! The sketch of Venus was simply inspired and I’m actually interested in making a purchase as a housewarming gift to this one.”

“Oh, yeah? Where did you move?”

“Don’t answer that,” Jason hissed before Dax responded anyway.

“Crown Heights.”

“Fancy,” Matt said with a smile, realizing he could use the best friend to get more information. “Jason mentioned being hungry, I could take you guys out. Dinner would be on me of course.”

“That sounds great!”

“No it doesn’t,” Jason protested.

“Who turns down a free meal and a beautiful face, J?”

“I do,” he fumed before making his way towards the exit. “I’ll see you later.”

Jason angrily paced the few blocks to his house, settled on leftover Chinese take out and swore he’d never let Dax convince him of anything else before going to sleep, in preparation for work the next day.

———-

Jason ran his fingers through his short, dark hair and adjusted the black silk tie around the collar of his white cotton pressed dress shirt before pushing himself closer to his tawny stained desk. It was his third day on the job and being as no-nonsense as he was, it allowed him to make fast and precise decisions that grabbed the attention of his boss who assured him that if he kept up the good work, his future would be bright.

He was busy filling out paperwork when a light knock on the half wall of his cubicle caught his attention.

“Hi, Naomi,” he greeted the beautiful receptionist before looking back down at the page.

“Hey, I know you have another appointment at two, but I told this gentleman out here that I’d see if you could squeeze him in.”

“That’s fine. Send him over.”

“Will do.” She smiled before sauntering away.

Moments later, Jason heard the man enter his small office space. “Have a seat,” he instructed without looking up.

“Nice place you got here,” said the familiar voice. “You still smell amazing.”

Jason groaned before finally raising his head. Dressed in a navy blue button down shirt and killer smile, Matt laughed when he saw the brunette’s expression.

“Are you a stalker or do you just not understand when someone doesn’t want to be bothered with you?”

Matt’s eyebrows furrowed. “I beg your pardon? I do believe I’m here for a loan just like anyone else.”

“Whatever,” Jason groaned.

“That’s not very professional,” the artist replied in a sing-song voice.

“Because this isn’t a professional situation. Did you take Dax out and convince him to tell you my entire life story or something?”

He chuckled. “Dax is a nice guy who just happens to love talking about his friends.”

“Dax is going to be a nice guy who happens to get strangled by his best friend soon,” the brunette said under his breath. “If you’re not serious about getting a loan, then kindly leave my office.”

“I definitely want a loan. I want a loan on your heart,” he giggled. “And if you’re not reimbursed by thirty days, I’ll leave you alone.”

Jason smiled. “That’s cute.”

Matt flashed a cheeky grin.

“Security!”

“What? No, don’t call security,” he pleaded. “I’m not a creep. I just want to get to know you better.”

“Have a nice life, Matt,” Jason said as he returned to filling out his paperwork, just when security appeared in the entryway.

The burly guard grabbed Matt’s shoulder. “Time to go, sir.”

“Jason, just give me a chance. Please?”

Ignoring the boy, the brunette continued to write.

“Let’s go,” security repeated, pulling Matt up by the shoulder.

“I’m going,” he said curtly. They made it to the door before Matt turned around. “You know, Dax told me about your ex. Nothing warrants abuse, but that doesn’t mean you have to shut out people who genuinely want to be your friend.” The artist snatched out of the guard’s grip and stormed off.

Jason clenched his jaw as a barrage of less than friendly thoughts crossed his mind about the painter.

 _Stay professional_ , he thought as Naomi rushed over with a concerned expression plastered across her face.

“Are you okay? What happened?” the receptionist asked.

“Yeah. That guy was just insane.”

“Should I put in a ban notice?”

Jason shook his head. “No, it’s fine. He isn’t a threat.”

“Okay. I’ll still be on the lookout though,” she said before walking away.

“Thanks, Naomi.”

Jason rubbed his forehead in attempt to ease his mind as Matt’s words replayed over and over. He managed to push the situation to the back of his brain and mindlessly finished out the work day. But as he walked to the curb to hail a cab, everything hit him at once and he became annoyed all over again. He flagged the yellow taxi and when it stopped, the brunette quickly climbed in.

“Where to?” asked the driver.

“The RuGala Art Studio.”

———

Jason paid the cab driver and grabbed his briefcase before exiting the vehicle. The door to the studio was open, prompting the boy to hesitantly enter. He didn’t know what he was doing there or why the stranger’s words had bothered him so much, but when he caught a glimpse of Matt as he painted the delicate violet flowers onto the canvas, his thoughts came up short once again.

“Hey,” Jason said sternly. When Matt didn’t turn around, the brunette nearly lost all of his nerve and turned on his heel to leave before he finally noticed the headphones that were blaring music into the boy’s ears. Jason rolled his eyes and tried again. “Hey!”

Matt glanced over his shoulder and his face immediately lit up. “Hey, it’s the art critic,” he beamed as he removed the earbuds. “What are you doing here?”

Jason frantically racked his mind for an answer. When he didn’t immediately respond, Matt flashed his usual crooked smile. “Approving my loan?”

At that, the brunette glared at the at boy through narrowed eyes. “I came here to tell you not to show up at my job ever again. Bringing up my ex was really low,” he fumed, tone becoming more agitated with each word. You don’t know what I’ve been through…you don’t know me.”

“I’d love to change that, ya know.”

“Well I don’t!”

Matt smiled, amused by the tirade. “Wanna go out for dinner?”

Jason groaned in exasperation. “You’re a psychopath.”

The artist’s eyes grew wide. “Well now that you know my secret, I’m going to have to kill you…” He raised his purple stained paintbrush as if it was a knife.

“You wouldn’t waste the paint on me, you need every drop to create that shit you call art.” When he saw a twinge of pain in Matt’s eyes, Jason immediately regretted the snub. But before he could form an apology, the artist spoke again.

“Someone must’ve really hurt you,” he said simply. “I may not be a rocket scientist, but I know when someone’s being an asshole to make themselves feel better.”

“Stop making assumptions about my life!” Jason exploded. “You try going through daily verbal abuse, constant fighting,” his said as his voice became to tremble, “walking on eggshells, fear that he’ll hit you if you slip up…until he finally does. I guess you stop flinching after the first couple of times.”

“I’m _so_ sorry,” Matt exhaled. “I had no idea. Dax just said the guy was a dick and he made you drop out of culinary school or something, but now he’s in jail for threatening you. He didn’t tell me all of that-…I’m sorry.”

Jason looked up at Matt, his usual goofy demeanor was replaced by genuine sorrow and concern. The brunette didn’t understand why the stranger had taken such an interest in his life. Maybe it was the same force that had drawn him into the honest eyes of the artist, Jason had no idea but he fought the urge to protect his feelings by shouting ‘fuck you!’ and storming out, and decided to show a little vulnerability for the first time in years.

“It’s okay. This all happened about two years ago. The beatings didn’t last a week before, Dax figured out something was wrong. I guess if I would’ve found concealer that didn’t look so orange against my skin tone, things wouldn’t have been so obvious… But Dax rallied an army to get me away from him. I was never the same afterwards. Now I feel like Dax tries to be spontaneous just to live for the both of us. I’ve built up these impenetrable walls and I block everyone out because I don’t want to be hurt again,” he sighed. “I just feel so angry at myself sometimes for letting it happen and-”

“You didn’t let it happen, he let it happen and only cowards do shit like that. And they do their little mind tricks to make you feel like it’s your fault when they’re the ones who are fucked up in the head.”

“You sound like you know from experience…”

“I haven’t spoken to my father in years. He’s still legally married to my Mom and she visits him occasionally. Maybe I could have a relationship with him if he’d just admit that he was a shitty parent.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Jason offered.

“It’s cool, my idiotic finger painting helps,” he said with a wink before turning back to his canvas.

Jason’s cheeks turned a light pink. “I told you I was sorry about that.”

“I do not accept your apology,” Matt replied without turning around. “You have to go to dinner with me for that to happen.”

“And if I don’t want to go to dinner with you?” he challenged.

“Then I’ll keep bugging you until you get sick of me and finally agree to go. So, to save yourself from a lot of whining, crying and poop stains, I recommend saying yes now.”

“Poop stains?”

“Don’t question my methods, Sir.”

“Okay, Matt,” he chuckled.

The artist turned around, crooked grin back in place. “Is this the first time you’ve called me by my name?”

“I didn’t see you as human until a minute ago so probably.”

“You know what?” Matt said with an exaggerated frown. He dipped his brush into the violet tinted paint and held it up with an expression that quickly turned mischievous.  

Jason glowered at him through narrowed eyes. “You wouldn’t.”

Accepting the challenge, the artist flicked his wrist, sending globs of vivid paint onto the brunette’s suit, briefcase and a small amount on his neck and cheek causing him to gasp in disbelief. Tickled by Jason’s expression as he looked down at himself to assess the damage, Matt burst into laughter.

“I’m going to kill you!” the brunette fumed. “This is an Armani suit!”

“People and their precious labels,” Matt giggled. “I made enough money last night to buy you a new suit.”

Jason grabbed the first thing within arms reach which happened to be a can of blood red paint.

“What are you doing?” The artist managed to get out before the liquid was being splattered onto him. “Ugh! Some got in my mouth!”

“Serves you right.”

“Well…it doesn’t taste that bad…”

Jason attempted to fight his smile but it was futile. “You’re crazy.”

“Thank you so much for noticing,” Matt chuckled as he wiped his mouth. “You know what you need right now?”

“A lawsuit against you?”

“A hug!” He said as he took a step towards the brunette.

“No, stay away from me! You’ve done enough damage.”

When Matt moved closer, the brunette attempted to run away, but the violet paint beneath his dress shoes caused him to slip and fall directly onto his ass. The artist began to cackle. After realizing Jason didn’t find the same humor in the situation, he placed his paint can on the ground to symbolize their truce before walking over to the boy and extending a hand. “You okay?”

Jason glanced up into the eyes that he’d secretly grown fond of and nodded. When he looked into the aqua pools, a sense of calm washed over him and for some reason, he just knew that with this man, it was safe to be vulnerable. He grabbed Matt’s hand and the artist helped him to his feet, pulling him closer than they’d ever been before. The tingling flutters of butterfly wings filled Jason’s stomach and he swallowed hard. He began to realize that even covered in paint, the boy was quite beautiful too. And something about Matt’s expression told Jason that he really did feel the same way.

“There’s a bathroom in the back if you want to get cleaned up,” Matt said, barely above a whisper.

Jason nodded.

“I’ll clean up here before the owner sees this mess and kills me.”

“Oh, I could help you. Afterall, fifty percent of this mess is mine.”

“We’re not even married yet and you’re already trying to take half,” the artist chuckled. “Nah, I got it. You go fix yourself up. Afterall, that is an Armani suit,” he said with a crooked smile that sent Jason’s butterflies into a frenzy. Matt gave Jason’s hand a gentle squeeze before indicating the bathroom once again as he retrieved a mop and bucket.

While the artist cleaned the floor, Jason washed his face. “Just imagine how these New Yorkers will look at me as I walk down the street with paint all over my suit,” he sighed.

“I keep spare clothes here. Wanna wear something of mine?” Matt offered.

“Um, sure.”

Within a few minutes, Matt handed Jason the plain black t shirt and grey sweatpants. The boy returned to the bathroom, sniffed the shirt and immediately fell in love with the floral laundry detergent that reminded him of the one his mother would use on his own laundry. He got dressed before emerging from the back of the gallery to find Matt standing in front of his painting that now had red splatters due to Jason’s retaliation. The brunette guiltily approached the artist’s side.

“Are you going to be able to fix it?”

“Fix what? The painting?”

He nodded dejectedly.

“Well, I was going for a mother nature type of thing. The violet flowers as her hair, maybe waterfalls as tears or something.”

Jason frowned. “That sounds beautiful. I feel terrible for ruining it.”

“You didn’t ruin it,” Matt assured. “Nature isn’t always perfect. The red screams everything that’s wrong in the world…I don’t want to change a thing.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!” he assured. “One half being perfect, expected beauty and the other half, unpredictable, destructive. It’s brilliant.”

Jason couldn’t help but smile at Matt’s words. “So am I an artist now?”

“You could never be that cool,” he teased.

The brunette gave the boy a friendly shove and Matt returned the playful affection by poking Jason’s stomach. “What do you wanna name it?”

“How about Essence of Woman?”

“Ooo, that’s a good one. I also like: Life’s Torment: No Matter How Bad It Seems Now, It’ll Get Better Soon,” Matt said softly as he gazed at the brunette who continued to study the painting.

“A bit long, don’t ya think?” Jason chuckled before turning to the artist.

When they made eye contact, the energy between them was nearly tangible. Matt glanced down at the brunette’s lips and licked his own before slowly tilting in. Jason closed his eyes and leaned in to fill the space between their lips. After a second, when he still hadn’t met the other boy’s lips, he inclined a little more causing his nose to be pushed directly into the paintbrush that the mischievous artist had picked up.

“What the hell is your problem?!” Jason fumed, immediately wiping the purple paint from his face.

“It’s just a joke!” he cackled. “I had to take advantage of the moment.”

“You get the chance to kiss someone and you prank them instead. What are you? Twelve?”

“And what if I am?” Matt asked, childishly sticking out his tongue.

Jason rolled his eyes before retrieving his briefcase and soiled clothing. “I don’t know why I came here. And to believe I actually considered going to dinner with you, ha,” he scoffed. “Not anymore. Nobody has time for-”

Jason’s rant was interrupted when Matt grabbed his hand and pulled him close. All joking erased from his face, he leaned in and placed a firm kiss on the boy’s lips. The brunette’s butterflies erupted, sending waves of tingles throughout his entire body. All rational thoughts flew out of his mind as he wrapped his arms around Matt’s neck. The artist licked the seam of Jason’s lips, prompting the brunette to open his mouth and when he did, his tongue immediately found it’s way into the other boy’s. They fought for dominance that Jason happily relinquished while his hands moved down to explore Matt’s chest before the artist broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against the brunette’s. Jason leaned in, attempting to have their lips collide again, but Matt was steadfast.

“Say you’ll go to dinner with me,” he whispered.

Jason groaned in exasperation. “You broke the kiss to say that?”

Matt nodded.

“You are so weird.”

He smirked. “Maybe. But I do like getting my way.”

The brunette rolled his eyes and pulled Matt close once again but the artist shook his head.

“Are we going out?”

“Yes. Fine, Matt we can go out to dinner. You can pick the time and place, just don’t break a kiss for anything stupid ever again.”

The boy grinned. “So you plan on kissing me again?”

“Shut up,” Jason practically growled, pulling Matt close so that their lips collided in a sloppy yet heated passion.  

The pair made out for several minutes as the sun began to set but Matt knew the gallery’s owner would be there any minute so after tucking their painting in the corner to dry, he made sure everything looked decent before collecting his things and locking up.

“We’re going to dinner right now,” Matt informed as he stepped to the curb to hail a cab.

“No way.”

“You promised!” the boy whined.

“I need to go home, shower and get dressed.”

“We are dressed! Covered in paint like walking art!” he beamed. “Isn’t it exciting?”

“You look like you just robbed the bank. And in my profession, that isn’t cute.”

“I’m just saying that it’s fun to be spontaneous without caring what people think sometimes. Yolo,” he giggled.

“Ugh, you sound like Dax.”

“Then Dax must be a very smart man.”

The blush on Jason’s cheeks was a light pink before he spoke again. “It was indeed Dax who told me to live my life and enter that little art gallery last night.”

“And I’m guessing you don’t regret it?” Matt asked smugly.

“Maybe just a little,” he teased.

A cab finally pulled to the curb and the artist opened the door. “After you,” he said to Jason.

The brunette obliged, sliding in the taxi followed by Matt.

“Where to?” the driver asked.

“To this nugget’s house,” the artist answered.

Jason shook his head with a smile. “Just a few blocks over on Halsey St.”

The man noded and sped off.

“What’s your favorite movie?” Matt asked.

“I don’t have one, but I love old movies. Like 1930s to 1960s, Hollywood golden era.”

“Classic…like you.”

The brunette smiled. “Yeah if I could live in 1946 and drive a convertible Packard, I would. What movies do you like?”

“ _Clueless_ is absolutely my favorite movie ever.”

“Of course it is,” Jason said nonchalantly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked with an exaggerated gasp.

He chuckled. “Nothing.”

“Mhm. Have you ever been to Disney World?” Matt asked.

“No.”

The boy gasped, child like demeanor instantly taking over. “Seriously?! It’s the best place ever!”

Jason shrugged. “I’ve heard it’s overpriced and so crowded that it takes all the fun out of things.”

“That’s not true! It’s the best place in the entire world. I love taking pictures with all the characters. Flynn Rider is always so hot,” he giggled. “I could spend the entire day on the Space Mountain. Hands down the best roller coaster there.”

As Matt went on and on about the happiest place on Earth, Jason couldn’t help but find the boy to be absolutely adorable. They spent the rest of the car ride discussing their favorite Disney movies before the taxi pulled in front of Jason’s brownstone.

“Wanna come in?”

“Isn’t it a little too soon?” Matt joked as he slid out of the cab after the brunette.

“You are so silly.” Jason pulled out his keys and opened the door. “Take your shoes off,” he ordered, pulling his own off and setting them on the small rack next to the door.

“Ah, so you’re one of those germaphobe types,” Matt said as he put his paint stained sneakers on the shelf.

“I’m not a germaphobe, I just don’t want the filth of the streets tracked through my house. The carpet is very plush, very light and very new.” He flipped the lightswitch to the living room and the boy was shocked to discover that the place had the design and color scheme of a bland five star hotel. Traditionally styled, buff colored furniture placed perfectly in the immaculate, open space. The neutral palette continued into the kitchen, bathroom and even the boy’s bedroom lacked the personal touches that every young homeowner should have.

“What’s with all the beige?” Matt asked, nearly hysteric by the sight.

Jason’s eyebrows furrowed. “What’s wrong with beige? It looks good.”

“It’s boring! This looks like Martha Stewart’s house.”

The brunette smiled. “Thank you.”

Matt shook his head. “That wasn’t a compliment.”

“Well it was to me. I’ve always wanted the perfect little house in upstate New York. A beautiful escape from the noise of the city.”

“I love living in the city,” the artist admitted.

“So do I, but just imagine a beautiful Victorian or a colonial overlooking a lake. With like six bedrooms, bay windows and a dining room big enough to host a fancy dinner party. My dining room now barely fits me.”

“The style of this entire place barely fits you. You can’t even tell that a young hottie lives here. There’s…there’s no-”

“Calm down before you burst a blood vessel.”

“You need color! Color brings life.”

“With all that paint on your shirt, you can stand in the corner and be apart of the furniture.”

Matt laughed. “You know what painting would look amazing on your mantle?”

Jason shook his head.

The artist grinned. “Roman Sunset.”

“Keep that thing away from me,” the brunette chuckled before entering his bedroom. After the quickest shower of his life, Jason changed into a casual t shirt and jeans along with his favorite boots before emerging.

“You look great,” Matt complimented.

“Thanks,” he said as he scanned the boy’s outfit once again. “And you look…dirty.”

His laughter echoed through the townhouse. “Is that a problem?”

“Um…no. I mean, I care about my appearance…”

“I get the hint,” he said with his usual crooked smile. “I guess that means we have to go to my house.”

———-

Matt opened the door and entered his studio apartment followed by Jason. He turned on the light and exposed the eclectic mix of furnishings, art and every color known to man spread across every square inch of the place. To the brunette’s horror, the once beautiful hardwood flooring had been stained with multi-colored paints including yellow footprints that trekked all over the area and even something the artist had carved into the wood that Jason couldn’t quite make out from his vantage point. On top of the assault of colors on your eyeballs, was the clutter of albums and Disney knick knacks that filled every available surface.

Jason could feel his head begin to swim. “My house is Martha Stewart and yours is…Janis Joplin.”

Matt gasped. “I love that! I just need vibrant things in my life.”

When they walked further into the place, Jason noticed the man sprawled out on the couch, snoring. “Um, who is that?” he whispered to Matt.

“Only the best friend ever!” the boy clamored before pouncing onto the sleeper. “Wake up, Jake!”

“Ouch! What are you doing, dumbass?”

“Waking you up, ya mooch! What are you doing here?”

“April kicked me out,” he groaned as he stretched.

“April?” Matt asked as he slid off of his friend and onto the other end of the couch. “What happened to Mariah?”

“April happened to Mariah,” Jake laughed.

Matt shook his head. “Just like Mariah happened to Laila.”

“Hey, don’t judge. There are a lot of beautiful women in the world and I want to see as many as I possibly can.”

“I know what seeing as many women as possible gets you. Still burning?” he teased.

“Fuck right off. That was a false alarm.”

“I refuse to believe that the doctor gave you a flu shot.”

“Then you’re just too damn knowsy,” he chuckled. “I love women and if that takes the occasional shot or cream, then so be it.”

“Gross, dude. How many kids do you think you have by now?”

“Hm…at least a dozen.”

Jason couldn’t tell if the boy was joking or not.

“Y.o.l.o,” the artist laughed before remembering his date. “This is Jason.”

“Oh, so this is the guy you were going on about? Wassup,” Jake greeted.

“Hello,” was the brunette’s snooty reply.

“Jake’s attending the police academy. He’s gonna be a cop,” Matt said proudly.

“We start gun training tomorrow,” the boy said with a grin.

The brunette did his best to conceal his horror as Matt continued to speak.

“Jason is a loan officer. Working at the bank is pretty damn legit.”

Jake’s eyes grew wide as delinquent ideas flooded his mind. “Could I get a loan to buy a year’s supply of pizza? Oh no, wait Matt. We could buy the shit to create that giant magnet we were talking about.”

Matt eagerly nodded his head. “That’s a good one!”

They both turned to Jason, awaiting a response. The brunette let out a breathy laugh. “You can’t be serious.” When the pair didn’t change their expressions, Jason awkwardly cleared his throat. “People tend to get loans for their homes or for a car…not for giant magnets.”

“Sooo…” Jake drawled. “We’ll be the first. Just imagine how cool it’d be.”

“Okay, hold on,” Jason said sarcastically before pausing for a second. “Nope, still don’t see it.”

“Well, I’ll come up with something better and you’ll be so amazed that you have no choice but to approve it.”

“I’ll be waiting for the day.”

Matt’s face lit up. “Isn’t he great?”

“Seems cool enough. I approve,” Jake yawned before turning over on the couch to go back to sleep.

“I’d better get dressed,” the artist said as he pushed himself off of the couch. “Make yourself at home,” he said before disappearing behind the half wall to his bedroom.

Since Jake occupied the couch, Jason glanced around the room in search of somewhere to sit. The first option was a chair shaped like a doll, which the brunette found to be a little creepy. The second option was a stool covered in a moss-like fabric; Jason cringed. The third option was the paint stained floor.

 _I’ll stand_ , he thought. The brunette paced around the room and he couldn’t help but smile at the various photographs of a young Matt sporting the same crooked smile that made Jason’s heart skip a beat.

“What do you think?” Matt asked.

Jason turned around and was greeted by the beautiful boy in his navy blue button down paired with acid washed jeans. The brunette smiled. “I love that shade of blue against your skin.”

“Thank you,” he beamed. “Navy blue is my favorite color.”

Jason burst into a giggle.

“What’s so funny?”

“You're just so obsessed with neon and vivid things, I just found it ironic that such a calm color is your favorite.”

“I’m full of contradictions.” He flashed his crooked smile and winked. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Where are we going?” Jason asked after Matt hailed a cab.

“The Breukelen Coffee House.”

“Coffee? I can’t have coffee at eight at night. I have work in the morning.”

“You don’t _have_ to have coffee. There’s a menu full of foods like pizza, donuts and gravy and whatnot.”

“Sounds like an amazing dinner…”

The boy grinned. “Do you trust me?”

Jason smiled. “I’m still deciding.”

Matt laughed as they climbed into the taxi.

The pair spent the cab ride and the entire date, sharing amazing conversation, laughing at different things, particularly Matt’s crazy stories and how extremely different their tastes were in music, movies and fashion, but somehow it made them feel even more connected. Jason promised to take the boy horseback riding if Matt promised to take him paintballing. It was their second and third dates.

“Did you really have to shoot me in the chest like that?” Jason asked with a pout after they’d entered Matt’s apartment. “You were brutal.”

“I take no prisoners,” he laugh maniacally.

Jason unbuttoned his shirt, revealing the fresh blue and red bruise.

“Aw, Pumpkin, I’m sorry. Let me get you an ice pack.”

The brunette sat on the couch and accepted the treatment when Matt returned.

“I was too rough. I’m too competitive,” he grumbled as he began to pace the room.

“Babe, it’s fine. I bruise like a peach anyways.”

When the boy continued to pace, Jason stopped him by the arm and pulled him down into a kiss. “It’s fine,” he whispered against his lips. Matt leaned in and the steamy makeout session was instantaneous. He slowly straddled the boy, making sure their mouths didn’t separate as he explored every crevice of Jason’s mouth. They went on like this for a few minutes before Matt pulled away, leaving the brunette a panting mess.

“You know you’re my boyfriend now, right?” The artist asked in a low seductive voice. “We’ve been on the three best dates of my life and I can’t even imagine spending time with anyone else. Plus, you smell nice.”

The brunette giggled and nodded. Matt smiled before giving him a quick kiss and removing his shirt. He reached for Jason’s belt buckle, when he did, the boy swiftly sat up.

“What’s wrong?” Matt asked.

“My ex is the only guy I’ve ever been with and my relationship with him was toxic in so many ways…I just don’t want to rush into sex to make a guy like me again.” Jason swallowed hard before hesitantly continuing. “This time, I’m saving myself for marriage…that way I know it’s real.”

Matt shrugged. “Okay.” He sat up, grabbed the Snickers off of the end table and began to open it.

Jason frowned. “Is that a deal breaker?”  

“Nope,” he replied simply before taking a large bite out of the candy bar.

“Really?” the brunette asked in disbelief.

“Of course not, Pumpkin. I’m not looking for some quick hookup. I respect you, your decisions and your body.”

Before the tears could spill over onto his cheeks, Jason quickly wiped his eyes. “Nobody’s ever said that to me before.”

“Well, you’ve never had a boyfriend like me before,” Matt chuckled maniacally. “There are tons of things we could do instead of having sex. Make grilled cheeses, knit, thumb wrestle.”

Jason giggled. He stole a kiss from Matt’s chocolatey lips and climbed into his lap. “You’re the best.”

“Get out of here, you vixen. You just want to steal my candy.”

The brunette laughed. “Not even. If I wanted to steal your candy, I’d just do this,” he said before quickly snatching the chocolate bar and attempting to run.

“Hey!” Matt grabbed the boy’s arm and pulled him back into his lap, attacking his face with firm kisses in retaliation.

“Okay! Okay!’ Jason pleaded. “You win!” He returned the Snickers to his boyfriend’s hand, but Matt continued to hold onto him; expression serious. “What?”

“For the first time in my life, I didn’t mind sharing my candy. That’s how I know I’m falling hard for you,” he said simply.

The brunette blushed.

“Are you sure that you’re ready for that?” Matt asked with a mischievous smirk.

“I suppose,” he teased before they kissed again.

———–

Over the next six months, Jason’s very words were tested as the immature artist pulled prank after prank, evaded responsibilities and pouted until he got his way, but he was also sweet, passionate and the best boyfriend the brunette had ever had.

Staple sentences in their relationship included:

_“I love you.”_

_“Matt, go wash your hands…Yes, you do have to use soap!”_

_You gotta lighten up, babe. It’s bad for your health.”_

_“What the fuck is that smell?”_

_“Of course candy is considered a meal!”_

_“I’m so glad I still have my own place because I swear that sock just growled at me!”_

_“I glued my fingers to my forehead again…”_

_“This better not be another prank…Shit! Shit! Ugh! Matt!!”_

_“Have you thought about approving our loan today? But it was a good ideaaaaa.”_

_“What did you do now?! Then why are the police outside?!”_

_“If you want to change the channel, then you’ll have to dig the remote out of my ass.”_

_“You’re such a brat!…Fine.”_

_“I love you.”_

_“I love you.”_

They spent most of their time between each other’s houses. Each trip to Jason’s house, Matt would bring a sculpture or a painting in attempt to ‘bring life into the place’.

 _I like my place the way it is! Beige is the new black,_ Jason always retorted. Matt would then attack the boy with a flurry of kisses before declaring his hunger. Even though he’d given up on his dream of becoming a chef, cooking was still one of the brunette’s favorite hobbies. He loved cooking for his boyfriend, although ninety percent of his skills weren’t put to use because of Matt’s simple tastes in food, but he didn’t mind. After dinner they usually cuddled on the couch or played video games until they fell asleep.

At Matt’s house, it was like a real life video game. Jason had come over after work one day and found a note that read:

_Hello Pumpkin! If you are reading this, that means I’ve already heard you enter my abode and have stealthily hidden myself somewhere in this loft. You now have ten seconds to arm yourself because in the next five seconds, I’m going to destroy you! >:]_

Next to the note was a fully loaded Nerf gun. _What a nerd_ , Jason thought as he quickly grabbed the weapon and held it up in preparation to shoot the boy. The brunette then tip toed further into the place.

“Matthew,” he whispered.

When Jason took another step, his foot landed on the rubber duck, a trap Matt had set. The squeak let the boy know exactly where Jason was and at that moment as he laid on his stomach behind the couch with his Nerf machine gun aimed at Jason’s chest, he placed his finger on the trigger. From head to toe, Matt was dressed in camouflage and even took extra time to paint his skin in the same green and brown hues. He gave the trigger a firm squeeze, sending a chain of foam bullets directly at his boyfriend.

“Ah!” Jason screeched as the arsenal hailed over him. The brunette quickly found refuge behind a half wall near the kitchen. He stuck only his arm around the corner and began to fire, sending the ammo in random directions, nowhere near his boyfriend.

Matt took advantage of the brunette’s blindspot by quickly standing and moving close enough to gain a new vantage point. “Say hello to my little friend!” He shouted before unleashing more bullets towards Jason.

“Ow,” the brunette cried. “You hit me in the eye!”

The boy immediately stopped and rushed to his boyfriend’s side. “I’m sorry, Pumpkin,” he said sincerely.

Jason’s pout quickly melted into a mischievous grin.

“Cheater!” Matt protested before turning to flee, only to be shot in the ass with a litany of bullets. He took cover behind his bedroom’s half wall. “Touche, my love. I have taught you well.”

“I love you,” Jason giggled.

“I love you more than pizza.”

They really did love each other and proof of this was Jason’s first trip to Disney World a few months later. Matt was so excited that he could barely form sentences as he pulled his boyfriend from ride to ride, scarfed down every fried confection in sight and chased down all of his favorite characters. By the end of the day, Jason was beyond exhausted, sweaty and he’d had vomited at least three times, but his boyfriend assured him that it only meant that the fun was working.

“Matt, can we please go back to the hotel?” Jason begged. “It’s nearly midnight.”

“I know, I know,” the boy said nervously.

“Okay? All of the rides are shutting down and I don’t want them bitching at us for trying to loiter.”

“This is the Magic Kingdom, they’d never do that to us.”

“Matthew,” Jason groaned in exasperation.

“Sssh,” Matt ordered as he checked his watch. “Three…two…one…” At the end of his countdown, the fireworks went off right on cue.

“Pretty,” the brunette admitted.

Matt grabbed Jason’s hand. “Babe, this place has a special spot in my heart and I’m so happy I got to share it with you,” the artist began. “These past few months have been so perfect and I just wanted to know…what are you doing for the rest of your life?” he asked as he sunk to one knee and pulled out a small black box, lifting the lid to expose the thick band of traditionally simple gold. “Because I want to spend the rest of mines with you.”

Jason’s eyes immediately welled up with tears, but he was cautious. “Matt, it’s so beautiful,” the brunette sniffled, “but if this is another prank, I swear to God.”

“It’s not a prank!” he chuckled. “We’re at Disney World because I wanted this to be perfect, babe.”

“The ring won’t give me an electric shock? Jake won’t jump out of the bushes and scare me?”

“It’s just you, me and the rest of our lives together…if you say yes.”

Jason burst into tears. “Yes! Of course, yes!”

Matt grinned and popped the ring out of it’s box before sliding it onto the brunette’s delicate hand. “Zap!” he joked as he stood and pulled his new fiancee into a tender kiss.

“I love you so much,” Jason wept.

“Forever and ever, babe.”

———–

The couple both wanted a small intimate wedding with only their closest family and friends there. They were in the middle of their cake tasting when Matt’s phone began to ring, playing his mother’s signature tone.

“Hey, Mom,” he answered. “Did you get the seating chart worked out? Remember that you can’t put Aunt Helen next to any of my friends, especially Jake. She’s a cougar and he’ll take advantage of it,” the boy laughed.

“Your father…”

“Mom, he’s not invited to the wedding,” he said curtly.

“Matty, he passed away.”

A numbing feeling spread across the boy’s body. “What happened?”

“He just sort of collapsed. They say it was from a brain aneurysm, though. It was so sudden,” she sniffled.

For his mother’s sake, Matt fought the growing internal anger. “I’m sorry to hear that, Mom. I know how much you still loved him.”

“I need to make funeral arrangements. Baby, I know you two weren’t close, but it’d mean so much to me if you’d come.”

“I’m sorry, Mom,” he said barely audible before hanging up.

“What happened?” Jason asked.

“My dad is dead.”

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

“He meant nothing to me.”

The brunette frowned. “Do you want to go home now? We can totally reschedule this tasting.”

“I bet he didn’t even know I was engaged, let alone gay,” he scoffed as his eyes welled up. “His motherfucking loss.”

Jason had never seen Matt cry before but the artist wiped his eyes before full tears could form. He grabbed his fiancee’s hand and kissed the back of it. “Let’s go back to Disney World.”

The boy turned to look at him; eyes overwhelmingly somber.

“Yep. I’ll drop everything at work and we can go tonight. I’ll even ride the Space Mountain without crying this time.” Matt smiled. It wasn’t the usual crooked grin that Jason loved, but it would have to do. “Life’s torment…no matter how bad it seems now, it’ll get better soon.”

The artist nodded and wrapped a hand around Jason’s neck, pulling him into a kiss. “Especially with you by my side.” They shared one last, lingering smooch before the proper calls were made to get them out of work and to book the next flight to the happiest place on Earth.

———

Matt sent money to help his mother with his father’s funeral, but he refused to return home from Disney World until the nonsense was over. He didn’t want any of his family dropping by to give their pathetic condolences when he could spend that time with Woody and Buzz.

When things settled down a few months later, the couple’s small, intimate wedding went as planned.

Even though they both wore black tuxedos, the all important colors of beige and navy blue were present throughout the ceremony including the beige tie that Matt wore as he eagerly waited under the altar and the navy blue bow tie that Jason sported as he nervously clung to his parents when they walked him down the aisle. After they gave him way, his hand was placed in Matt’s and for the second time in their relationship, he saw the boy’s eyes simply well up while the brunette was already weeping like a baby.

The officiant went through the generic wedding speech before the couple was able to share their vows.

“Matt,” Jason began through the waterfall of tears. “When I entered RuGala Art Studios that night, I didn’t expect to find anything special, hell, my attention was on the free snacks, until I saw a painting. ‘Bullshit’ is what I said. ‘Bullshit?’ you asked from behind me. ‘Yes. Paint splattered onto a canvas isn’t art,’ I replied along with some other harsh things until you revealed that you were the artist. I was upset at the time because I felt like you purposefully wanted to make me look stupid or vulnerable and I wanted nothing to do with you. But I soon discovered that you weren’t the type of guy that haunted my past. I immediately began to fall in love with your bedroom eyes and your ‘up to no good’ grin. You can always calm me down or cheer me up with simply a look. You are the very air that I breathe and You’re my better half and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you.”

Matt wiped Jason’s tears away with his handkerchief before pulling out a rolled sheet of paper. “After your vows, mines are gonna look so stupid,” he chuckled as he undid the scroll. When the paper hit the floor, everyone laughed as he began to read. “Jason, I can’t believe that we’re here today and that you agreed to be mine forever. Either you’re madly in love or you’re insane because marrying me means that you’re signing up for a lifetime of whoopee cushions, fart spray and general tomfoolery, and I hope you’re ready for that.” Jason nodded with a soft smile. “You’ve taught me that the simple things in life can be just as beautiful as a masterpiece painting, like you farting or me making you laugh while you drink so that it comes out of your nose.” The guests let out various sounds ranging from gasps to laughter. “Just kidding, Jason doesn’t fart. He’s perfect and I’ve waited nearly a year to- Mom, cover your ears,” he teased. She brushed him off with a reprimanding wave of her hand and a warm smile. “Okay, I’ll keep it PG-13. I’ve been celibate nearly a year, having to take cold showers every five minutes, and for you, I’d go another year, but I’m really, really, really, really, really, _really_ glad that I don’t have to. And tonight I’ll show you just how much you mean to me; no pranks included…just handcuffs.” The guests burst into laughter. “All jokes aside, you are my everything and I can’t wait to enter this lifelong prank war with you. I love you more than pizza.”

The couple held onto each other’s hands as the officiant went through the last portion of the ceremony before the couple exchanged rings. Jason slid the matching gold band onto Matt’s hand, but the brunette had his specially engraved on the inside with _Things Only Get Better_ in the same shade of aqua blue as the boy’s eyes.

“And they lived happily ever after,” the officiant said for added Disney flare before the couple declared their final ‘I love yous’ and sharing the first kiss into their forever.

The color scheme they’d chosen continued through to the reception with beautiful navy blue linens draped over each table and a large arrangement of white roses and pops of green hydrangeas, ‘to bring in color’ Matt had beamed. The newlyweds shared a romantic first dance to _So This Is Love_ by Cinderella before the party commenced. The entire night had been amazing, but Matt’s favorite moments included biting the head off of the fondant Buzz Lightyear that decorated their cake and when they finally left for the airport. He could barely contain his excitement when they boarded the plane to Rome.

———–

“Babe, look! The sunset looks just like my painting that you hate!” Matt joked excitedly as the newlyweds walked along the white sanded beach hand in hand.

“I don’t _hate_ it, but seeing the real Roman sunset, makes me appreciate the beauty in your painting a lot more.”

“Thanks, Pumpkin,” Matt said before kissing his husband.

They continued to walk, letting the cold Mediterranean sea crash around their ankles. As the sunset seemed to disappear into the water, the couple promised to visit iconic Roman landmarks including the Pantheon and the Colosseum the first thing the next morning, but in the meantime, they had more important things to tend to.

Jason led Matt back to their hotel room and immediately pushed him onto the plush king size bed. The brunette straddled his husband as they hungrily devoured each other’s lips for several minutes before Matt rolled them over so that Jason was beneath him. When he broke the kiss to remove his shirt, the brunette whimpered.

“Don’t worry. We have all night,” Matt assured. He swiftly removed his husband’s shirt, tossing it over his shoulder before placing his lips on Jason’s smooth porcelain neck. The boy marked his territory with a hickey then moved to the brunette’s chest.

Matt took his time kissing and licking his way over the brunette’s chest, stopping to play with each nipple, lavishing them with his tongue as his hands rubbed up and down his husband’s sides. Jason closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation of Matt’s touch all over his skin.

“That feels good,” he exhaled.

Matt gave his collarbone a quick nip before leaving a soft trail of kisses down the boy’s stomach, down to the hem of his shorts. Although the pair had seen each other naked numerous times, it was only via glimpses and nude photos. Jason found himself a little nervous, but the sexual tension that had built up over the past year was more than enough to push his insecurities to the back of his mind. And when Matt gazed up at him through his hooded bedroom eyes, he knew his husband wanted it even more than he did and had been willing to wait just for him.

Matt’s expression was cautious as he waited for Jason’s permission to remove his shorts. When the brunette gave an eager nod, his husband smiled and looped his index fingers under the seam, slowly peeling away the fabric that separated him from the brunette’s steadily growing bulge. He raised his hips and allowed the boy to pull them completely off, all the while kissing his smooth legs in the process before turning his attention to Jason’s cock.

“You’re so beautiful,” Matt exhaled. The brunette blushed but then let out a strangled moan when his husband licked the tip without warning. After just one taste, he eagerly took the stiff cock into his mouth and immediately began to work. He slid his head up and down Jason’s shaft, taking in as much as he could while he jerked off the remainder with one hand and massaged the brunette’s balls with the other.

“Oh my God,” Jason gasped, fingers gripping the generic cotton sheets. Years of being celibate had practically made him forget how amazing sex, especially blow jobs could be. “Shit, baby, that feels-” his words became caught in his throat when Matt lowered his mouth so that his lips were at the base of Jason’s cock, letting the tip slip past the threshold of his throat. The boy then expertly bobbed his head up and down, taking in Jason’s entire shaft and sending the boy to the edge of sheer bliss.

The brunette knew he was close but he wanted to hold off for other things. “Matt, stop,” he pleaded weakly. “I’m gonna cum.”

The boy pulled his mouth off of Jason’s cock but continued to jerk him off with long, slow strokes. Flashing a satisfied grin, he gripped the brunette’s hip and planted a small kiss on the smooth hip bone. “You want me to stop?”

“No,” he got out between his heavy panting. “But I want us to do other stuff. This _is_ our honeymoon afterall.“

Precum was coating Matt’s hand, making it easier for him to stroke the shaft faster and harder. Jason gripped the sheets tighter in an effort to maintain some semblance of control.  
  
He flashed his crooked smirk again and denied Jason’s request, instead wrapping his mouth all the way around his husband and pushing down until his lips were stretched around the base of his cock once more. He looked up at Jason with his stunning blue eyes and at the moment, the brunette knew he couldn’t hold off any longer. His head fell back against the soft pillow and his back arched as the euphoria washed over him.

“Fuck! Oh, fuck!” Jason moaned out as he exploded into Matt’s throat, jet after jet of warm cum spraying from him with a force unlike anything he had ever experienced.

"Sorry, I just had to taste you for the first time,” Matt mumbled, licking his lips and swallowing every last trace of the cum as he sat up. “You are sweeter than chocolate cake,” he said with a soft smile before he leaned down and kissed his husband.  
  
“That was incredible, baby,” Jason mumbled, still panting from the exertion. He sat up, in preparation to return the sexual favor before Matt spoke again.

“Turn over. I’m not done with you yet.”  
  
The brunette’s eyebrows furrowed. “Matt.”  
  
The boy kissed his husband. “I won’t hurt you,” he whispered.

“I know, baby. But I want to do something for you too.”

“You did everything for me when you said ‘I do’ and I’ll take it from there. I’m probably going to put you through hell and to make up for it, I always want to take care of you the best I can. And I just can’t wait for this beautiful body to be all mine,” he growled softly. “So, turn over.”

Jason kissed him once more then finally compiled, the gentle command being enough to get his cock stirring again. Eager to please his husband, Jason scrambled onto his hands and knees, looking back over his shoulder at him so he could see what Matt had in store for him.

Matt was giving a look unlike anything Jason had ever witnessed from him before. He was like a man possessed, as his eyes roamed up and down the brunette’s bare body, making him a little self conscious.

“You are living art,” he exhaled with a smile before gently placing a hand on each of Jason’s cheeks. When he began to massage them, the brunette giggled.

“That tickles.”

“I want to make you feel good, baby,” Matt assured. “If you’re not comfortable with something, I want you to speak up.”

“I’m comfortable with everything that makes you happy.”

“It’s supposed to make both of us happy. I’m not here to take over you.”

Jason smiled. “Thank you, baby. I really am comfortable with most things, and if that changes, I’ll let you know.”

Matt expressed his gratitude by leaning down and kissing his husband’s pale shoulder before moving to his knees. As if the boy was a sculpture, Matt slowly ran a hand down the boy’s spine, straight into the crevice between Jason’s cheeks, and his fingers eventually met the brunette’s hole, making his semi-firm cock spring to attention for a second time with only the simple touch.  
  
The boy licked a trail down his husband’s spine, following the same path his hand had traced a moment earlier. This time, his tongue smoothed down the boy’s ass and stayed at his hole, licking the pink ring of  muscle firmly causing Jason to gasp and writhe beneath him.

Matt’s tongue slid inside the hole and he gently began to penetrate. His hand found Jason’s balls and he began to massage them as the brunette let his head drop to the pillow, pressing his face into the soft linen.

“Oh, fuck,” he moaned into the fabric. Matt groaned in satisfaction over the delicious sounds his husband was making, encouraging him to continue with new vigor. “Baby, that feels _so_ amazing.”  
  
Matt pulled his mouth from the boy’s ass and moved down to gently suck his balls while one hand moved around to stroke his cock. Matt could feel the precum dripping out of his husband, undoubtedly ruining the sheets for future hotel guests. Jason pushed back up on his palms, giving Matt a little more room to work with.

“Fuck,” he trembled as the boy’s finger probed at his hole. Not new to this, but since it’d been awhile, Jason’s ass was tight. He relaxed his muscles as best he could so that Matt’s finger could slowly slide in without issue. He let the brunette get used to that finger before he added another and started to scissor the two, stretching him out as best as he could. “Shit.”

Matt lifted his face from the boy’s balls and gently kissed the base of his spine as his fingers worked in and out of his hole. “Damn, baby, you’re so hot,” he murmured, smoothing the palm of his other hand all over Jason’s skin before he pushed another finger inside of him. “I can’t wait for this to be me entering you.”  
  
“Yes,” Jason moaned. “Please.”  
  
“Please what?” Matt teased as his fingers pressed against the brunette’s prostate. Jason moaned out his reply, body beginning to ache with the need of his husband’s cock inside of him. “There are so many things I want to do to you, baby,” he said gently. “Amazing things, wicked things. But I can’t do them to you if you don’t tell me what you want from me too.”

  
“I want you inside of me,” the brunette begged..  
  
“Yeah?” Matt exhaled, leaning over his husband’s back just close enough so that he could whisper into his ear. “I’m gonna make love to you. I’ve been waiting an entire year to make love to you, and I want you to enjoy every single second,” he said, voice heavy with lust as he fingers tapped relentlessly against Jason’s prostate.  
  
“Fuck!” he cried out as he began to tremble.  
  
At that, Matt kissed his husband’s pale shoulder and simultaneously pulled out his fingers. Jason missed him already and even whimpered at the empty feeling. Without any warning, Matt grabbed the brunette by the hips and flipped him over onto his back again. Finally able to get a good look at him, Jason saw that the eyes he loved were sedated and filled with lust. There was a light sheen of sweat coating his perfectly sculpted muscles; Jason had never seen him look so sexy.

  
Matt flashed a crooked smile and reached over to the bedside table, grabbing the lube and a condom from the box they’d picked out together. Jason watched in anticipation as his husband slowly rolled his boxers off, giving him a little show in the process, eliciting a giggle. The artist leaned down and stole a kiss before ripping the condom open with his teeth. He expertly rolled it onto his throbbing shaft before coating it in a thick layer of lube.

When Matt climbed back over the brunette and positioned himself between his hips, Jason wrapped his arms around his back and began to gently rub. The boy leaned down and the couple shared a passionate kiss. “You ready, baby?” Matt whispered against his lips.

When Jason nodded, Matt placed the tip of his cock at the pink entrance and gently pushed. The brunette winced for only a second but the pain quickly subsided as he assured his husband it was okay to continue. With a few more steady pushes, Matt’s cock was completely buried in Jason’s hole. He groaned and kissed him again, mumbling how amazingly tight he was and how incredible he felt around him.

He gripped Jason’s hips as he began to slide back. The brunette reached out for him, desperate to keep the boy close as the weight of his cock inside of him was too phenomenal to lose. Matt simply smiled and kissed the brunette’s pale knuckles before he pushed his length back into his husband, eliciting a strangled gasp out of the both of them. He pulled back and pushed in again. And again. Each time coercing delicious sounds from the brunette as their skin began slap against each others. They continued to make love like this, even switching their positions to doggy style, cowboy and spooning before returning to the intimate missionary.

Matt guided one of Jason’s legs around his waist, and the brunette quickly followed suit, wrapping the other around him as well. It gave the artist a new vantage point and he began to thrust into his husband harder and faster. The headboard started to bang against the wall with each hungry motion, and the moans that were escaping Jason’s mouth became unintelligible as every thrust pushed the head of Matt’s cock against his prostate. He firmly dug his nails into his husband’s back, nearly piercing the skin, but Matt seemed to enjoy it as he began to pump with new vigor.

“Fuck,” he moaned. “You feel so damn good, Pumpkin.”  
  
Jason could feel the overwhelming waves of pleasure taking over his entire body and was teetering on the edge of insanity, desperate to cross the line into pure bliss. Matt’s thrusts had become slightly more erratic, and he knew he was also holding on as best he could. “Come for me, baby,” he mumbled as he pressed his lips to the pale shoulder once again.  
  
“I’m so close,” Jason moaned in a trembling voice as he reached down and began to lazily stroke himself. “Please, don’t stop. Please,” he whimpered.  
  
Matt let out a feeble growl and wrapped his arms around his husband’s back, pulling him closer to thrust into him with everything he had. Jason did his best to squeeze Matt’s cock with his ass muscles, hoping to force an intense orgasm out of him. With a loud groan, the artist gave one more thrust and before shooting his hot cum into Jason; the thin latex of the condom the only thing separating them. Matt pulsing inside of him was all it took for the brunette to come along with him.

“Fuck,” Matt panted as he collapsed on top of his husband. The newlyweds shared gentle kisses, stroked each other’s hair and skin as they enjoyed the aftermath of their orgasms.  
  
A few minutes later, Matt finally pulled out. He slid the condom off, expertly tied it off  and tossed it into the trash can. Matt leaned down and licked Jason’s cum off his stomach, causing the boy’s now sensitive skin to quiver under each touch.

"That was amazing,” Matt grumbled.  
  
“You can say that again,“ Jason giggled weakly.

“You’re the best I’ve ever had and it was well worth the wait.”

“Really?” Jason smiled a little smugly. “I don’t think anyone makes love better than you,” he said honestly, already pleasantly sore in all the right places. Matt disappeared into the bathroom, before returning with a warm washcloth that he used to wipe the sweat from his husband’s face before he cleaned down his stomach and then gently around his tender hole. "Thank you,” Jason mumbled bashfully as Matt tossed the facecloth to the side.

“We’re married now,” he replied proudly as he climbed into the bed, pulling the brunette close and under the blanket. “I’m supposed to take care of you.”

Jason’s body had turned to jelly after having two monstrous orgasms back to back, and could barely keep his eyes open. “I love you,” he murmured.

“I love you too.” Matt kissed his husband’s forehead and wished him the sweetest of dreams before they fell asleep, wrapped in each other’s arms.

————

Jason stared up at the Roman Sunset painting that hung over their bed, completely relaxed after his husband had coerced the early morning orgasm out of him.

“Babe,” Matt called from the bathroom. “That fried ice cream isn’t gonna make itself,” he said in a sing song voice as he emerged with a face towel. He patted Jason’s forehead and gave his groin a swift wipe down before tossing the cloth into the hamper.

When the brunette sat up, his husband stole a kiss from him. “Three years later and you still taste sweeter than chocolate cake.”

“No use sweet talking me. I’m not going to feed you anymore junk. The fried ice cream is bad enough.”

“And it’s all I want…for now, so hurry! It’s already six.”

“You’re lucky that I love you,” he groaned as he pushed himself off of their bed and into the main area of the townhouse they purchased together after their marriage. They fought tooth and nail over the things that Matt would bring into their home until they settled on a cool blend of bright colors and clean lines that became a perfect combination of their styles. Every one of their premarital items found a spot in the new place, except Matt’s moss covered stool.

Jason smiled at all the crazy memories he shared with his husband as he opened the freezer, jumping at the sight of the taxidermy possum Matt had placed in there for reasons still unknown. “Ugh, babe! Get this damn thing out of the freezer! It’s creepy!”

“He’s my friend!” He heard the boy cackle from the other room. The brunette rolled his eyes and reached around the critter to grab the chocolate ice cream.

From the freezer, to the plate, it took Jason about forty-five minutes to prepare the confection the way his husband liked it, extra crispy and topped with cool whip, chocolate sauce and a dash of rainbow sprinkles.

“Your country breakfast is ready!” the brunette joked before Matt bolted out of their bedroom to the small dining room table.

“Thanks, babe,” the artist beamed as he bit into his unhealthy breakfast, swinging his legs like a small child as he chewed.

Jason shook his head. “Such a baby.” He planted a soft kiss on his husband’s hair. “When I get out of the shower, we need to talk. Okay?” The boy nodded. “Don’t just leave before I get out again, Matthew or I’m going to be pissed.”

“Okayyy,” he groaned.

“Alright. I’ll be out soon. Don’t forget to put your plate in the dishwasher when you’re done.”

“Don’t forget to put your plate in the dishwasher when you’re done,” Matt repeated in a nasally, mocking tone.

Jason groaned in exasperation.

“Kidding!” the boy chuckled.

The brunette ignored him and retreated to his shower, instinctively checking it for rubber spiders. When the coast was clear, he cautiously turned the nozzle and when the water didn’t run some bright color in case Matt decided to pump the shower head full of paint again, he stepped inside. The brunette melted under the heat of the hot water and tried to temporarily wash his mind of his problems with his husband. Matt seemed to be painting more than ever but less and less profit was coming into their household. Jason’s job paid well, but the strain of his single income supporting the mortgage and the rest of their bills was beginning to make the brunette weary.

When he felt numb enough, Jason turned off the water and wrapped a towel around his waist. He went to their closet and pulled out his replacement Armani suit that Matt had given him their first Christmas together. The brunette gave it a quick iron and after blow drying his hair, he pulled the expensive pieces on.

“Matt?” Jason called to make sure his husband was still home.

“Yeah?” the boy replied, mouth obviously still full of food.

“Can you turn on the cappuccino machine and put vanilla in there?”

“What’s in it for me?”

“A husband who isn’t cranky.”

“That works,” Matt laughed as he quickly obliged.

Jason double checked the contents of his briefcase before emerging into the main area of the house, catching a glimpse of the violet and red painting; the happy accident they’d created the night of their first date hanging above the fireplace. Seeing it always made him feel a little better.

 _Things will get better soon_ , he thought as he made his way to the dining room table, where his husband was practically licking the bowl clean. “Matt, I told you to put your plate in the dishwasher,” the brunette chastised.

“I am! There was still chocolate on it.”

“Okay. Now that you’ve had your artery clogging goodies, we need to talk.”

“I hate when you say that.”

“Well, too bad because this is important.  Are you ready to listen? Because there are times when you hear me, but you don’t listen.”

“I’m listening,” Matt assured before widening his eyes.

“Babe,” Jason giggled. “This is serious.”

“Alright, all jokes aside. What’s up?”

“You’ve been bringing home less and less money and our budget is gasping for air. I’m making enough to keep us afloat, but you’re buying more paint and supplies, it isn’t going to work for much longer. Is the art market crashing or something?”

“No, people come into the gallery all the time.”

“But are they buying your stuff?”

He shrugged. “Sometimes.”

“Well ‘sometimes’ isn’t gonna be good enough forever, baby. What about your retirement? Or when we want a bigger place? I want kids someday, Matt.”

Matt feigned loud exaggerated coughing.

Jason rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Babe, I’m serious! If you don’t want the same things in life as I do, just let me know now,” he fumed.

“Pumpkin, calm down. Of course I want the house, and the kids and five dogs.”

“I don’t know how it works, but press the studio owners for bigger parties to gain a better audience to generate more income or something. Is that too much to ask?”

“Not at all.”

“This is our second conversation like this Matt. If we have a third, then we have a problem,” he said in a stern tone.

“You look so hot right now,” he exhaled.

Jason knew arguing would be futile, but he hoped that his words would sink into his husband’s skull this time. “Thank you, baby. You aren’t too bad yourself.” He winked before stealing a kiss. “I’d better get going. See you after work?”

“Not right after. Me and the guys are going out for drinks. Wanna go?”

“No, thanks. You guys go three nights a week, I know how rowdy you get,” Jason chuckled. “Love you,” he said before kissing his husband.

“Forever and ever, babe.”

——–

As Jason diligently filled out paperwork like he did everyday, he heard the sliding of the chair in front of his desk and the familiar groan as the boy flopped into the seat.

“Hello, Jake,” he greeted without looking up.

“You’re starting to creep me out with that. How’d you know it was me?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” he said sarcastically. “Maybe because you come in here every other day to harass me,” Jason joked.

“I’m not harassing you, I’m a man of the law. See?” Jake asked as he tilted the badge on his police officer uniform that read _Ludwig_. “I shined it last night,” he beamed.

“Nice,” the brunette said before turning his attention back to the paper. “How is Kim? Oh, wait no sorry. You’re dating Dita now, right?”

“No, we broke up Tuesday. I’m with Tatianna.”

Jason chuckled. “It’s Thursday and I’m sure she’s lovely.”

“She has big boobs,” the boy smirked. “I’m pretty sure she’s the one.”

The brunette shook his head. “So what can I do for you today, Jake?”

“Okay…here me out on this.”

“I’m listening,” he sighed.

“Inflatable ass implants,” he said, emphasizing each word.

Jason looked up at the boy and tried his best to suppress his laughter.

“The last few chicks I’ve been with have been hot and all, but their asses were meh. So if I invent an inflatable implant, I can pump as much air into the cheeks as I need! It’s great, right?”

“Jake, that’s the most misogynistic thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Girls who are insecure about their asses can get one and pump themselves too!”

The brunette laughed as he shook his head.

“So I’ll need a loan of about ten thousand dollars to make a prototype.”

Jason pulled out a stack of papers. “Well, you know the drill, fill out-”

Jake slammed the sheets he’d already filled in onto Jason’s desk. “Bam!”

“Mkay,” the brunette hummed as he slid the document in front of him. He reached into his drawer and pulled out a large red stamp that said _Denied_. He’d purchased it just for Jake and the plethora of horrible ideas he’d come up with over the past four years.

“No,” Jake groaned. “What was wrong with that one?”

“If you can’t see what’s wrong with that concept then I don’t know what to tell you. But I want to make a compromise.”

The boy eagerly waited for him to continue.

“Start a petition…if you get the signatures of one hundred women, I’ll approve your loan.”

“Really?” he beamed.

Jason nodded. “But until then,” he said as he slammed the stamp down.

“Deal.”

“And the women can _not_ be ones that you’ve slept with.”

“Aw, come on!”

“That wouldn’t be fair.”

“But I’ve been with half of the women in this city!”

“Well, here’s your chance to meet new people. You’re going out with my husband tonight, tell him to help you.”

Jake sighed. “Fine.”

“Anything else I can help you with?”

“No. That’s it for now I guess. See you later.”

“Be safe out there, Officer Ludwig.”

“Will do,” he said as he pushed away from the chair and out of the bank, allowing Jason to finally laugh.

———–

Matt was putting the final touches on a starry night inspired painting at the art studio when he heard the pattering of small feet behind him. He turned around and was greeted by a girl no more than seven years old topped with curly, bright red hair twirling around the room.

“Well, hello there,” Matt chuckled.

“Hi,” she chirped, continuing to spin.

“Can I help you with anything?”

“I like all the pretty paintings!”

“Thank you so much,” he beamed excitedly, for he took the opinions of children in the highest regard. “I painted all the ones over there.”

The girl paused long enough to gaze in the area he had indicated. “That’s the one I want! The one with the horses!”

“Oh, yeah? I had a lot of fun painting that one. Um, where are your parents?”

“My Mom’s in the store next door. I hate back to school shopping,” she said, wrinkling her nose in distaste.

Matt chuckled. “Well, when she’s finished, how about you bring her over to buy it for you?”

“But I have my own money!”

Matt looked at the girl incredulously. “That painting cost five hundred dollars. Can you afford that?”

The small child shrugged. “This is all I have,” she said somberly as she extended her hand with the one dollar bill.

“Aw, I’m sorry, I-”

“My mom doesn’t ever have much money left over for pretty things after she buys clothes and food for us. I want to save my money and buy her a beautiful painting.”

The story made Matt’s heart melt. “Well guess what?”

“What?” she asked with a small jump.

“That painting just went on sale for one dollar. If you want it, it’s yours.”

“Yay!” the girl beamed excitedly. “Thank you so much!”

Matt extended his hand, and she quickly returned the gesture. He shook the small child’s hand. “Nice doing business with you,” the artist said before making the exchange and bidding her goodbye.

The smile that was plastered across her face as she skipped out of the studio was what made Matt’s job worthwhile and he was afraid that his husband wouldn’t understand that.

————

Jason rubbed his neck and stretched as he entered his home after work later that afternoon. Remembering that his husband would be out that night, he figured that he’d stay up and get some work done while he waited for him to return, but not before he called him.

“Hey, babe,” Matt greeted over the loud clatter of the sports bar.

“How are you?”

“Good. I just got to the bar. You okay?”

“Yes. How was work?”

“Um, it was alright. How was work for you?”

“Work was fine. Did you sell anything or talk to the promoters?”

“Baby, it’s really loud in here. I’ll call you later, okay? Love you,” Matt rushed before hanging up.

“I assume that’s a ‘no’,” Jason groaned. “You are gonna get it when you get home, buddy,” he said before tossing his phone.

Whenever Matt was out with friends, the brunette usually spent his time hanging out with Dax or watching old movies as he cooked meals that were too mature for his husband’s palate. Today he eagerly made himself pan seared scallops with a side of sauteed spinach. Since Matt hated the smell, let alone the taste of any and all seafood, Jason opened the windows to air the place out. Matt would refer to it as ‘the Devil’s work’, along with any other food he deemed too adult for his taste buds. Jason felt like a master chef when he got a break from making things like corn dogs or dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets.

If Matt ever insisted on cooking, Jason was always weary. He felt like a parent that just had to nod and bear it when their child made them scrambled eggs with the shells still intact or pizza burnt beyond recognition. The brunette felt confident in his ability to make cereal, but even that was a hassle with the mess of spilled Cheerios and milk rings on the counter.

Jason sighed as he filled his wine glass half full with Chardonnay before settling into a seat at the table. Sometimes he’d scroll through instagram, inevitably coming across something his husband or his friends had posted that made him shake his head. This time it was a picture of Matt, who had stuck three feet worth of straws together and he was downing a liter of beer through the creation. He turned his attention back to the 1930 film, Morocco, starring Marlene Dietrich. Jason had seen the movie over one hundred times.

“Husband?” The brunette quoted along with the film legend. “I never found a man good enough for that.” He smiled and took a bite of a scallop.

When he was finished, he loaded the dishwasher and settled onto the couch as he always did while he waited for Matt to come home. He watched more movies until he fell asleep. Around four in the morning, the fumbling of the keys outside the front door woke him.

“And she didn’t even wanna have to go!” he heard Matt chortle. The brunette pushed himself off of the couch, paced to the door and opened it. A sober Jake practically carried his inebriated friend through the door. “Hey, baby,” he slurred as he threw his arms around Jason. “I missed your little face.”

“I missed your little face too you drunkard. Thank you for bringing him home in one piece, Jake.”

“Don’t I always?” he laughed. “And oh, I got eight signatures for my petition.”

“It’s a start,” Jason said as he tried to hide his disbelief.

“You didn’t say exclude drunk girls,” he said smugly.

The brunette sighed. “I suppose.”

“Let meh check your nipples,” Matt hiccuped, pulling Jason’s shirt up by the hem.

“I’ll leave you lovebirds alone,” Jake said as he headed towards the door. “I’ll have one hundred signatures by Monday,” he assured. “Have a good weekend.”

Jason waved. “Good luck with that and you too.”

“Play your siren when you leave, cop!” Matt cackled. “Wee-woo! Wee-woo!”

“You are so wasted,” his friend laughed, “but just for you, I will.”

Jake closed the door behind him upon his exit, but Matt refused to budge until he heard the wailing of the cop car as his friend sped away. Afterwards, Jason was finally allowed to lead his drunken husband to their bedroom. He laid the boy onto his back before lifting his legs to remove his shoes.

“Are we gonna do sexy time?” Matt slurred.

“No,” the brunette scowled. “I’m really upset with you right now.”

“What? Whyyy?” he whined. “Did another prank go too far?”

“No.”

“Then whattt?”

“We’re not having this discussion while you’re drunk, hell, we can barely have it when you’re sober!” Jason fumed as he grabbed a spare blanket from the closet and a pillow from the bed. “When are you gonna grow up?!” He stormed out of the room and made himself comfortable on the couch.

Not even a minute later, Matt staggered from the bedroom and over to the couch. “Babeee,” he said with a pout as he laid directly on top of his husband.

“Get off of me, Matthew,” he hissed.

“Are you still mad?”

“Yes. Now get off. You’re smothering me.”

“Please don’t be mad. What can I do to make better?”

“You can ‘make better’ by getting off of me,” Jason said in a raised tone. When Matt began to place sloppy, drunken kisses on his husband’s hair and face, the brunette rolled over causing the boy to fall onto the floor, bumping his head on the coffee table in the process.

“Ow,” Matt cried as he balled himself up in the fetal position and covered his face.

Jason immediately pushed himself off of the couch and onto the floor. “Babe, are you okay?” he asked remorsefully.

“No,” the boy whimpered. “You’re mad at me and now my head hurts.”

“Babe, I’m sorry. Let me look at it.”

“Say you forgive me first.”

“Your head could be bleeding, Matthew. Let me look,” Jason ordered.

“Say you forgive meee,” he whined as he kicked his legs, comparable to a toddler throwing a tantrum.

The brunette rolled his eyes in exasperation. “I forgive you.”

Matt sniffled loudly before finally sitting up to let his husband examine his head.

“It’s just a small bump,” Jason sighed. He placed a gentle kiss on the boy’s forehead. “Go back to bed, baby.”

“You have to come with me. I can’t sleep without you.”

“Alright, Matt, alright. But the first thing tomorrow, we need to have a very serious talk.”

“Okay,” he sniveled. “Goodnight. I love you.”

Jason helped his husband to his feet and led the boy to their bedroom. After tucking him in, the brunette climbed onto the other side of the bed before Matt wrapped his arms around him. The urge to pull away was strong.

 _Oh, no,_ he thought frantically. _What’s happening to us? I’ve never wanted to be out of his arms before. We have to fix these problems before it’s too late._

“Babe?” the brunette called but the only reply he received was the light snore that tickled the sensitive skin on his neck.

“Things always get better,” he said mindlessly in attempt to stay calm until he eventually fell asleep.

———-

At the sound of his work alarm, Jason groaned as he sat up and turned the thing off. He glanced over at the other side of the bed and to his surprise, his husband was gone.

“Matt?”

No response.

The brunette quickly pushed himself out of the bed, rushing into the bathroom in case his husband needed him, but Matt was nowhere to be found. Jason began to panic until a note in sloppy handwriting on the countertop caught his attention. He picked it up and swiftly read:

_Got inspired, went to the studio early. Will see you later.  Love you._

_❤ Matt_

Jason crumpled the sheet of paper between his hands and angrily tossed it at the mirror. It ricocheted onto the floor but the brunette was too livid to care. Matt had never worked on Saturday before and the fact that he decided to when he and his husband were meant to talk that morning, made the brunette more upset by the second.

He picked up his phone and quickly selected the contact labeled _Hubby_ before placing the device to his ear. The call went straight to voicemail. Normally Jason would hang up at this point, but he decided to leave his husband a cute little message.

“Matthew,” the brunette said calmly. Anyone that knew him, knew to take cover when they heard that tone, because despite sounding okay, he was beyond furious. “I asked you for one thing, to simply talk to whoever you needed to talk to about making more money. You couldn’t do that. You said you would but it was a lie. We were even supposed to talk this morning, but you’re suddenly a Saturday morning painter. So until you’re ready to face me like a man, do me a favor and don’t come home.”

Jason hung up the phone and fought the urge to throw the device against the wall.  He turned on the coffee machine before taking a quick shower. The brunette wanted to be seated in the living room recliner, Marlon Brando in The Godfather style, just in case his husband walked through the door, but the boy never did. Jason waited until the last possible minute before he had to leave for work. He grabbed a piece of string and closed it between the door and frame near the ground, something he’d picked up from some detective television show awhile back. If the string was on the ground when he returned, then Matt had returned. Jason secured his trap and rushed to the street to hail a cab.

On his lunch break, Jason skipped going out to eat and quickly returned home. When he saw that the string was in the exact place he’d left it, the brunette somberly turned on his heel and disheartenedly finished out his work day.

Later that evening, when the brunette returned home for the final time and saw that the string was still lodged in the door, he frantically stopped a taxi and ordered them to take him to the RuGala art studio.

———-

Jason quickly entered the building but Matt wasn’t in his usual spot. Instead he noticed the owner, clipboard in hand, taking some sort of inventory.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Charles,” Jason greeted politely.

The tall, slim man looked over his shoulder and smiled excitedly. “Hello, Mr. Lent! Long time, no see. How are you?”

“I’m fine. How are you?”

“Great and great!” he laughed. “Just charting sales before I close shop.”

“Yeah,” Jason sighed. “Is Matt still here?”

The man paused. “Still here? He doesn’t come in on Saturdays.”

The brunette didn’t know what to think or feel. His husband wasn’t communicating with him, and now he was lying. “Oh…that’s right. I’m sorry.”

“No biggie. But he has been working his ass off, but his decisions lately have been questionable.”

“What do you mean?”

“He sold a five hundred dollar painting for a dollar the other day and I was utterly confused. He’d spent so much time on it, but that’s just Matt I guess.”

“Just Matt, huh?” Jason asked through gritted teeth.

“Yeah, he’s something else.”

“So he hasn’t been making money because he sells his paintings at crackhead prices?”

Mr. Charles laughed. “I’m not sure about that, but business is still good.”

Jason didn’t know what to make of the new information, but he knew that if he didn’t talk to his husband soon, he’d explode. “Well, that’s nice to hear. You have a great evening, Mr. Charles.”

“You too. Thanks for stopping by.”

“I clearly need to stop by more often.”

“Yes!” the man said. “Matt says that you are what inspires him, so having you around more might make wonders.”

“Oh, I’m about to go home now and give him some inspiration,” Jason said, tone less than amused.

“Don’t break him,” Mr. Charles laughed before bidding the brunette goodnight as he walked out of the building.

———-

Jason forced himself to the door of the home he shared with his husband. When he saw the string on the ground, feelings of betrayal, confusion and pure rage flooded his mind. He opened the door.

“Hey, Pumpkin,” Matt greeted from the kitchen. The brunette didn’t respond as he set his briefcase on the couch before sauntering into the room with his husband, pressing his back against the wall while he composed himself. “I’m making us chicken nuggets,” the boy beamed. “You know how I love eating them with a side of beer, it’s like heaven.”

“I don’t think I know anything about you,” Jason retorted, barely above a whisper.

“Sure you do! You know my allergies, my favorite holidays, my favorite-”

“How was the art studio today?”

The boy froze. “Um, it was okay. I didn’t stay long before I spent the day with friends.”

“What friends?”

Matt’s eyes were shifty as he nervously replied. “You don’t know them.”

“Does Jake?”

“No.”

“Are you cheating on me?” Jason asked in a trembling voice.

Matt quickly turned to face his husband. “I can’t believe you just asked me that,” he exhaled, the pain of the question evident in his face. “I love you more than life itself.”

“You don’t communicate with me anymore.”

“I try to communicate with you, but you say the same thing all the time. It’s embedded into my brain by now.”

“Good!” Jason exploded. “I’m glad that it’s stuck in your simple little mind but now I see that there isn’t room for much else!”

“You don’t have to be hurtful…”

“ _I’m_ hurt, Matthew! I went to the art studio and I know you didn’t go there at all today. You think it feels good to find out that your husband is lying to you?!”

“No,” he sighed. “I’m sorry about lying but it’s so that I don’t ruin everything.”

“Ruin what?!”

“I can’t tell you right now. Just give me a few more months and everything-”

“I don’t have a few months, Matthew! I want answers _now_!”

“And you call me a brat,” he said under his breath.

“You are a brat! Everything is such a big fucking joke to you and I’m sick of it! When are you going to grow the fuck up?!”

The boy was speechless, so naturally, Jason continued to rant.

“Did you even get my voicemail? Or did that get ignored too because of your side whore?!”

“I did hear your voicemail and I wanted to give you time to cool off because I know when you get mad, sometimes you don’t always mean what you say.”

“Oh, I meant every word,” Jason assured.

“I see that now…and I don’t have side whores.”

“Bullshit.”

“Okay, babe, this is getting out of hand. Can we just calm down, eat our chicken nuggets and talk about everything?”

“Oh, _now_ you want to talk to me?!”

“Jason,” he said in exasperation.

“Don’t ‘Jason’ me, Matthew! I’m fed up! You don’t care about me,” he sniveled.

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Everything I do is for you!”

“And that’s why you’ve been making money, but none of it is going to our household- it must be going to someone. In fact, you’re apparently making so much money that you can afford to sell paintings for one dollar,” the brunette said in disbelief. “I know that an artist’s career isn’t stable, but that’s why I work so hard for the both of us…I just wished you’d grow up and do the same.”

“Soon, you’ll know everything. I’m not cheating on you, but right now, even if it doesn’t seem like it, I’m working my ass off and I’m investing in our future. Just be patient. No matter how bad it seems now, it’ll get better soon.”

Jason simply stared down at his dress shoes.

“Pumpkin, can I get an ‘alright’, ‘whatever’, or even a ‘fuck off’. Silence kills me and I just want to know if we’re okay.”

The brunette sniffled loudly but he didn’t respond.

“You not saying, anything kind of says a lot…” Matt exhaled in a broken voice. “The chicken nuggets are on the stove…I guess I’m gonna go out with Jake.”

Matt walked past his husband, out of the kitchen but stopped and sighed. He slowly turned on his heel, back over to the brunette and leaned in for a kiss. When Jason slightly turned his head, away from the boy’s lips, Matt placed the gentlest kiss on his cheek instead. “I love you,” he whispered before entering the living room again. He grabbed his jacket, opened the door and just as he stepped out, Jason spoke.

“I love you too,” he exhaled.

A small smile spread across the boy’s lips before he exited, softly closing the door behind him.

————

While Matt was away, Jason occupied the couch like he always did. The television played as background noise while he thought about the fight with his husband. Marriage was about love, trust and compromise. He did love and trust Matt, so they just had to come to a compromise. The brunette unknowingly fell asleep when the banging on the front door startled him awake. He quickly checked the time on his phone.

“Three in the morning seems about right,” he sighed to himself with a soft smile.

Jason pushed himself off of the couch and quickly made his way to the door. The brunette opened it and was greeted by Jake and another officer he didn’t recognize, but his badge read, _Firkus_.

“Alright, where is the drunkard?” Jason chuckled. Eyes red and extremely puffy, Jake’s expression was nothing left than wretched. “Did Matt get arrested or something?”

His husband’s friend looked down at his shoes as he attempted to keep his composure.

“Mr. Lent,” Officer Firkus said in a soft voice. When the stranger reached out to touch his shoulder, he quickly deflected the gesture. “Mr. Lent, you might want to sit down.”  

Jason felt faint as his heart pounded against his chest and his eyes welled with tears, making his vision blurry. “Jake,” he said through gritted teeth. “Where is my husband?”

When Jake didn’t say anything, Officer Firkus shot him an understanding look before speaking again. “We got an emergency call from a taxi driver who has apparently known Mr. Lent for awhile now. He had passed out in the back of his cab. He wasn’t breathing so he called 911.”

The brunette’s lip began to quiver as if he knew what was coming but he couldn’t bring himself to believe that anything like that was even possible. “I-Is he okay?” Jason managed to choke out before Jake shook his head.

“They did all they could. He’s gone.”  

Time seemed to stand still; a heavy force around them that immediately made Jason feel like he was suffocating. A numbing, prickling sensation spread across his entire body. His brain refused to process the words he’d just heard. Instead, the receptors went on the attack and he felt his system begin to shut down, one cell at a time. He began to hyperventilate as his airway started to close, just as his legs gave out. Officer Firkus caught and steadied him but the brunette quickly pushed him away.

“No! _No!_ ” Jason cried. “Jake, what happened?! He was with you! You were supposed to protect him! What did you do?!”

The brunette shoved the cop in his hysterics prompting Officer Firkus to quickly intervene. He firmly grabbed Jason’s frail arms, effectively restraining him.

Jason felt as if he had no strength and yet all the strength in the world as he attempted to pull away. “What happened?” he asked again, barely coherent this time as he sobbed, finally giving up to sink to the floor.

“That’s all we know. We can escort you to the hospital if you’d like.”

“I have to see him. I need to see him. This isn’t real,” Jason said, trying to keep his voice steady, but it came out more trembly than he could’ve ever imagined.

Officer Firkus helped the brunette to his feet, out the door and into the back of the cop car. As they sped off, Jason mumbled on and on about how their doctor always said how healthy both he and his husband were, so his mind contorted into painful knots as he even began to attempt to understand what could’ve happened.

 _Matt’s fine_ , he thought. _This is all just a misunderstanding._ The brunette was so caught up in his head that was quickly becoming his own personal hell, that he didn’t even notice that the car had stopped. Still dressed in his pajamas, Jason was escorted into the building and right up to the front desk where Officer Firkus spoke.

“Get Dr. Sutan down here right now,” he ordered the receptionist.

Within a few minutes, the doctor emerged and when he saw Jason, the sympathy on his face was evident. “Mr. Lent, you have my deepest condolences.”

“No,” the brunette rebuffed coldly. “What happened to my husband?” he asked, emphasizing each word through gritted teeth and clouded eyes.

“He was the victim of an intracranial aneurysm…these attacks are quick and can happen with no prior symptoms. Sometimes they’re even hereditary.”

Jason’s body went on the attack again as he remembered the sudden death of his father-in-law. “You have the wrong guy,” he said simply with tears now streaming down his cheeks. “This is a huge mistake and I refuse to believe any of this! Where is my husband?!”

“Okay, Mr. Lent. We’ll take you to him,” Officer Firkus offered before looking to the doctor to see if it was even allowed. The man nodded.

“I can’t do it,” Jake wept.

“Take the rest of the night off,” his partner suggested with a firm squeeze of his shoulder. Jake sunk into one of the empty lobby chairs and buried his face into his hands.

Led by the doctor, Jason and the officer boarded the elevator and they went down to the last floor. When the doors slid open, the sign that hung from the ceiling read _Morgue_.

An unnerving chill went down Jason’s spin before the hyperventilating began as they approached the stainless steel drawers.

Dr. Sutan turned to him. “Mr. Lent. These things are never easy on loved ones…”

“Just open it…I have to see with my own eyes…please.”

The man hesitantly nodded and unlocked the door. He slowly pulled out the drawer and there laid Matt.  Cold and lifeless.

Jason immediately burst into hysterics. He threw his arms around his husband’s body and cried against Matt’s pale chest.

“Babe, please wake up. I can’t live without you! Open your eyes, your beautiful blue eyes and tell me that this is just one of your sick pranks! I promise I won’t be mad, Matt, just, please!” he wept uncontrollably before collapsing to the floor into a broken heap. When Jason began to retch, Firkus reached down to help him up, but the brunette slapped his hand away. “Don’t touch me,” he rasped.

It took another minute before Jason could compose himself enough to even stand. He ran his fingers through Matt’s sandy brown hair. “My beautiful husband,” he sniffled just as he noticed the large stitch on his chest. “What happened?”

“He was an organ donor,” the doctor informed.

To fight the tears, Jason gnawed on his lip until his mouth was filled with the metallic taste of his own blood. “You’re empty now,” he sniveled. The brunette grabbed the corpse’s cold, pale hand. “Where is his wedding ring?”

“You have to pick it up, along with his other belongings.”

“Matt,” the brunette whimpered. “I just can’t let you go…”

“Mr. Lent,” the doctor said softly. “There is counseling to help get you through these things.”

“He promised me forever…”

“As both of your doctors, I can say that he did indeed love you very much.”

Jason gently caressed his husband’s cheek. “Can I join you?”

“I think it’s time that we go, Mr. Lent.”

“I can’t leave him. I won’t.”

“Would you like another minute?”

“No!” Jason exploded. “I want my fucking forever!”

“Mr. Lent, I understand what you’re going through, but it’s not healthy for you to be down here much longer.”

“You don’t know anything! You’re-” the brunette stopped abruptly when he felt as if Matt would be upset by his behavior. “Okay,” he whispered.

“Would you like another minute?” He asked again.

Jason shook his head. He leaned down and placed the gentlest of kisses on his husband’s soulless lips. “I love you and I’ll see you soon.”

The doctor swallowed hard at the ominous words as he allowed Jason to be escorted out of the morgue before he closed the door to Matt’s drawer and quickly followed behind the brunette back to the lobby. “Do you have anyone that can be at home with you for support right now?” He asked, concerned for the his patients safety.

Jason nodded.

“Do they think they can meet you here before you leave?”

“I’ll call them when I get home.”

“Um, hospital policy doesn’t allow the loved ones to leave in situations like this without a friend or family member,” he lied.

Jason turned to look at him through narrowed eyes. “I’m an adult and I can do whatever I want.”

“True, but we are also subject to hold his belongings until you do so.”

“You can go straight to hell,” the brunette hissed.

“Mr. Lent, please just-”

“Where are his things?!” Jason shouted before swiping everything off of the receptionist’s desk. Clip boards, hand sanitizers and a large vase filled with white orchids crashed onto the floor in a massive clamor. When the glass shattered into multiple shards, the brunette knew what he wanted. He wanted to be with his husband again and based on the doctor’s words, this might be his only opportunity.

In the blink of an eye, Jason dropped to his knees and grabbed the biggest fragment of crystal he could find before slicing the jugular vein in his neck. Bright red blood immediately began to spurt out of the wound and onto anyone within three feet of the boy. It all happened so fast that when Jason weakly attempted to slit the other side of his neck, Officer Firkus barely had enough time to tackle him to the ground and wrestle the shard away from him, cutting both of their hands in the process. Although he was trying to help, the officer only aided in Jason’s attempt as his body weight seemed to force even more blood to flow out at a dangerous pace.

“Code blue in the main lobby! Code blue in the main lobby!” the receptionist said over the loudspeaker.

Dr. Sutan pulled gauze from his coat pocket and applied it to the wound, but it quickly turned scarlet as the brunette gurgled faint protests.

“Get…the fuck…off. I want…to be…with Matt! Just let me die!” Jason’s vision began to grow spotty as the blood loss made him weaker by the second. “I need to be with my husband. I have to be with my husband,” he mumbled repeatedly until his vision faded completely.

————-

Jason slowly lifted his heavy eyelids and gazed around the sterile room. The pale walls, lack of personality and most of all, the fact that it was a hospital, made him sick to his stomach.

Slowly, then all at once, the past twenty-four hours of his life hit him like a freight train. Matt was gone and Jason’s failed suicide attempt left the brunette beyond heartbroken. He couldn’t comprehend how swiftly he’d lost everything in his life worth living for.

The burning sensation of the eighty stitches in his neck felt like butterfly kisses compared to the internal pain he was experiencing. Getting shot or set on fire would only begin to distract him from the torment, but for the time being, the harsh scratching he was giving himself on the arm would have to do.

The brunette winced as he sat up, gaining a better view of the room. There was a curtain pulled around half of his space for privacy but he could see the open door and caught a peep into the hallway at the sign that read, _Psychiatric Ward._

“Fuck,” Jason groaned. “I guess I should have been more graceful about it. They’ll never let me out of here now.” He laid back down and opted for pinching himself this time as to not leave marks.

At that moment, a scruffy man with sandy blonde hair entered the room. He had dark circles under his eyes and was dressed in a pale blue hospital robe.

“You’re awake!” he beamed as he rushed over to Jason’s bedside. “I’m Brian McCook and I’m your roommate.” He extended his hand but Jason ignored the gesture and turned on his side. Brian shook his own hand and continued to speak. “You were asleep for a long time. This guy keeps coming to see you during visiting hours, but you’re always knocked out.”

Jason swiftly turned to face the man. Irrational hope flooding his mind. “What did he look like?”

The man’s eyes grew wide as he gestured his arms in a swiping motion.

The brunette’s eyebrows furrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Brian threw his arms in the air and began to make a crackling sound.

“Fucking freak,” he groaned as he rolled back onto his side.

“That’s what my mother used to call me,” the blonde cackled. “Good times.”

“Knock, knock,” Dr. Sutan said from the door before entering.

“Hey, Doc!” Brian shouted.

“Hello, Brian. Remember, we need to use our inside voices when we’re in here, okay?”

“Okay,” he whispered. “My roomie is awake. He’s nice and he’s awake.”

“That’s nice to hear,” the doctor said with a smile. “Do you think I could talk to him alone for a minute?”

“Is it about me?”

“No,” he assured.

“Is it about muffins?”

“No,” he laughed. “But there are muffins in the cafeteria today.”

Brian immediately sprinted out of the room. The doctor approached Jason’s bedside. “How are you feeling, Mr. Lent?”

No response.

“You know, the longer you ignore me, the longer you’ll have to be here.”

Jason thought for a second, then turned over. “How am I feeling?” he rasped. The doctor nodded. “I feel like the bubonic plague personified. My insides are festering away, cell by cell. I have no brain, I have no heart, I have no reason to live. Is that descriptive enough for you?”

“That was perfect. And all of that is perfectly normal when you lose a loved one. You’re here so we can help you through it.”

“And if I don’t want help through it?”

“Matt’s ring, clothing and paperwork won’t be released to you.”

“Paperwork?”

“Yes.”

 _What paperwork? Why did he have paperwork?_ He thought. _And this cab driver that’s known him for years. I never knew anything about that. What the hell were you doing Matt…_

“I know you have many questions, but you won’t get answers until you’re better.”

Jason thought for a another long minute before hesitantly nodding.

“You’re not alone in this. Never feel that way. Your friend, Dax, has been here everyday for you. He was here this morning and he said he’d be back for lunch. Is that okay?”

Jason nodded again as the tears began to roll down his cheeks.

——————————————————————————–

As the early morning alarm on the clock began to blare, Kurtis Dam-Mikkelsen rolled over and slapped the snooze button. The defense attorney sat up, obviously too quickly because he became dizzy. He waited for the feeling to subside before he pushed himself off of the bed and entered the luxurious bathroom of the Los Angeles home he shared with his wife Courtney and their three children. The oldest, Grace was ten, Hudson had turned eight the previous week and Rosie was four.

Every morning was the same tedious routine. Kurtis took a quick shower before entering his walk in closet. He mindlessly selected the dull brown button down and combed his hair over to one side. The man looked as if he could be the boring, monotone professor on campus at a community college, but he simply sighed and headed to the kitchen. His stay at home wife had woken the children, gotten them prepared for school and cooked a large organic breakfast; like she did everyday.

“Good morning, darling,” the Australia native greeted her husband.

Kurtis had met the petite blonde twelve years earlier when he was nineteen on a summer trip to Brisbane with his friends. She was their waitress and the rowdy boys flirted heavily with her, but she was surprisingly only interested in the studious boy with mousy brown hair. They went out on a few dates before the girl took his virginity and before he inevitably had to return to the U.S. The couple continued a long distance relationship for six months until Courtney finally moved and they’ve been together ever since. From the days when the pair could only afford Ramen noodles for every meal to their present two million dollar home, they stuck together through everything, especially their current daily struggles.

“Morning, honey,” he wheezed before kissing her.

“Ewww,” their children teased in unison as they sat at their designated stools with their breakfast.

“Ew? Aw, that means you guys what kisses too,” their father chuckled before making his way around the island. He kissed each one of their heads, eliciting tiny giggles before coughing.

“Have you taken your vitamins yet?” Courtney asked.

“That’s what I was about to do.”

“Okay,” she said, expression still worried. “Then after, you’ll eat today?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Loss of appetite is one of the symptoms,” she whispered. “I just want you to stay as healthy as possible.”

“I know, honey. Gluten, sodium and sugar free…a diet can’t get much healthier than that.”

“I want you to be around for our children.”

“Are you going somewhere, Daddy?” Rosie asked with a frown.

Kurtis shot his wife a frustrated look before making his way to his daughter’s side. They had agreed not to talk about his issues in front of the children, but as his health began to decline and he couldn’t run as fast or play with them as long, they began to grow suspicious. “No, sweetie. I’m not going anywhere.”

“But you’re dying?” The girl sniffled.

“Rosie,” her mother reprimanded.

“It’s okay. Um, Daddy’s a little sick but if I take care of myself, I’ll be fine.”

“What’s wrong with you?” asked Grace.

“I have a bad heart. And it makes me weak, tired and even grumpy, like Garfield the cat,” he chuckled in attempt to lessen the blow, but the children’s faces remained stoic. “So I put in an application for a new heart, but that takes so long that I still have to make sure I take care of myself.”

“Like a bionic heart?” Hudson asked hopefully.

Kurtis smiled. “No, I wish. Then I’d be able to run super fast and we could play football like we used to.”

“I’d like that.”

“Me too, buddy. One day and hopefully sooner than later,” he said just as his watch began to beep, reminding him to take his meds if he hadn’t already. “Okay, okay,” he frowned, pushing the button to silence the noise.

“Take your vitamins, honey,” Courtney urged.

Kurtis nodded in exasperation before making his way back to their master bathroom. He filled the spare glass with tap water and opened the medicine cabinet, grabbing his three morning medications. The man sifted the prescribed amount into his hand, then into his mouth before washing them down with the water.

After returning to the kitchen, he gave his worrisome wife an assuring look before kissing her and his children goodbye. Life as a defense attorney was stressful, and due to his congestive heart failure, his doctor recommended that he took it easy, but he couldn’t. He didn’t necessarily like his job, but he had a family to take care of.

When Kurtis entered the law office he worked at, he gave his secretary a short greeting and made his way into his office, where he couldn’t miss the mountain of papers on his desk.

“Alyssa?” he called weakly.

“Yeah, baby?” The glamorous Texas native replied.

“Could you come here for a second?”

“One…more…coat,” the woman said as she applied her lip gloss before pushing away from her desk and over to Kurtis’ side. “Yes?”

“What is that?” He asked while pointing at the stack.

“Oh, your partner sent those over early this morning. He said he didn’t get a chance to do them and he was sure you’d take care of it.”

“Are you serious? This is going to take me hours on top of going through the evidence.”

“And I can assure you that he had plenty of time to do them, but I guess the strip club down the street seemed more appealing. You can’t be such a pushover, baby. That’s why he did it.”

“I know. You’re right,” he sighed. “But I don’t have the energy to argue with people these days.”

“It’s your job to argue with people. Have you heard anything from your doctor about a donor yet?”

Kurtis shook his head. “And it’s getting worse. I can’t even stand for five minutes without getting weak.”

Alyssa frowned. “Take a vacation.”

“We’ve already taken three vacations this year alone.”

“Well, damn. Can you adopt me?”

“No, because my kids know how to listen,” he chuckled.

“I listen! I just can’t deal with shenanigans and tomfoolery like you.”

“Well neither do I. I just like for things to flow smoothly, without issues and to-”

“Follow the schedule,” the woman finished his sentence. “I know, I know. You’re a creature of habit.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No, it’s a boring thing. How does Courtney deal?”

“My wife is well taken care of,” he assured.

“She still looks great after all these years too! How on Earth did she fall for a slub like you again?”

Kurtis smiled as he made his way to his seat. “Maybe because I’m tall, dark and handsome?”

“More like boring, vapid and foolish.”

“Get back to work, troublemaker,” he chuckled.

“Be weary of papercuts while you’re going through Mount Pushover,” she whispered before leaving.

“Backrolls,” he retorted.

“Jerk!” Alyssa cackled. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“I will,” Kurtis groaned before a rough coughing fit began. After ten minutes and several swigs of water, he lifted the first piece of paper on the mountain.

Just like he did everyday, the man mindlessly floated through work, taking his medicine like clockwork before he left for home. When he arrived, the kid’s homework was done, they had bathed and dinner was ready. Kurtis could always depend on Courtney to keep their household running like a well-oiled machine, so to thank his wife, he’d shower her in high end clothing and expensive jewelry. Such as the massive ten carat diamond ring he’d gifted her on their tenth wedding anniversary. It weighed down her right hand while her original remained on the left, but the selfless woman simply wanted her husband to be healthy again.

“Hi, honey,” Courtney greeted him at the front door.

“Hey,” he sighed as she helped him out of his coat.

“Rough day?”

“Yeah, but it’s fine. What’s for dinner? Seared salmon with a kale and apple salad.”

Kurtis smiled. “My favorite.”

“Yes,” Courtney beamed proudly. “You seemed kind of out of it this morning so I thought I’d make it.”

“Thanks, honey,” he said before kissing her.

“Cooties!” Rosie giggled as she peaked around the corner.

“Yes and I’m the cootie monster,” Kurtis roared.

“Ahh!” The girl screeched before running away.

As soon as Kurtis began to chase after his small daughter, he became lightheaded. When he staggered, his wife was immediately by his side.

“Kurtis, are you okay?”

“Just a little dizzy.”

“Come on,” she said as she draped his arm over her shoulder. “You need to rest.”

“But dinner,” Kurtis rasped.

“I’ll bring it to you.”

“I have to eat with the kids…I’ve never missed a meal with my kids,” he panted.

“Then we’ll all have a picnic in our room.”

“I’d like that.”

They shared a loving smile, as she helped him into their room and into their bed. His wife kissed his forehead and assured him that he’d be fine before informing the children of the new plan. They excitedly laid a blanket on the floor. Grace even added the elegance of a small floral arrangement she’d found in the living room as the center piece.

The family laughed and enjoyed their quality time as they always did. Once dinner was over, Courtney loaded the dishwasher, put the children to bed and sauntered back into the bedroom.

“Dinner was great, Court. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Courtney said with a smile as she climbed into bed next to her husband. “Are you feeling any better?”

“Seared salmon always makes me feel better,” he chuckled.

“Good enough to…” she trailed off suggestively.

“I don’t know, baby. But I’m always willing to try for you.”

“Did you talk to your doctor about it?”

He nodded. “She said just like any other activity, I have to be very careful, don’t overdo it.”

“Okay,” Courtney said with a soft smile. The couple hadn’t made love in over two weeks, but tonight, she was ready.  “The second you feel any discomfort, you have to tell me, okay?”

“Last time I couldn’t even get it up, so,” he said with a shrug, a little discouraged.

Courtney gently cradled her husband’s face between her hands before kissing him. “You’re an amazing lover,” she assured in a whisper against his lips. “You can’t be so hard on yourself about something you can’t control. Heart failure affects your entire body, that’s not your fault. Work with it, not against it, Kurtis.”

He nodded. “I love you.”

Courtney kissed him again and he pulled her into his lap, hands immediately exploring her petite body. She smiled against his lips before gripping the hem of her silk nightgown and tugging it over her head and onto the floor, leaving herself completely nude.

“Wowza,” Kurtis wheezed with a smile.

Courtney giggled and pulled him into a steamy make out session by the neck with one hand while her other hand gripped the waistline of her husband’s pajama bottoms. A gentle tug exposed  his hips and he gave his body a slight lift so that his wife could easily pull the pants completely off, releasing his already semi hard cock.

“See,” Courtney encouraged. “He’s not broken, you just have to give him time,” she said before gently grabbing the tip and rubbing delicate circles with her thumb, eliciting a muffled, choking sound from Kurtis. “Baby, relax,” his wife whispered before lowering her head, slowly taking the shaft into her mouth.

“Shit,” Kurtis groaned as he attempted to control his breathing.

Courtney expertly went down on her husband for a few minutes, helping him to achieve and maintain a rock hard erection before she paused.

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

Kurtis replied by pulling her up into a kiss, exploring every inch of her creamy smooth skin before aligning her hips with his. When the head of his cock met the entrance of her vagina, Courtney savored the moment as she lowered herself inch by inch down her husband’s shaft until Kurtis was fully sheathed in her warmth; still perfectly snug after twelve years together.

“Oh my God,” the woman moaded.

“Feels…amazing,” Kurtis panted.

“Sssh,” she urged as she kissed him again. They spent several minutes adjusting to each others bodies before Courtney placed her hands on the man’s shoulders with his hands on her hips. She began to lift and lower herself, keeping it slow as to not over exert her husband. “Yes,” the blonde moaned softly as she threw her head back.

Although the pace was slow, Kurtis could feel himself becoming weaker, but he refused to let his wife see it. He simply closed his eyes and tried his best to enjoy it and to enjoy that his wife was having a good time.

“Are you okay?”

Kurtis lifted his heavy lids and nodded. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.

“Kurtis, if you’re feeling ill, I’ll stop.”

“No, no. Please don’t stop. It feels great.”

“You’re not tired?”

“You give me strength,” he said with a smile.

Courtney stole a kiss before she began riding her husband with new vigor. When the tip of his cock found her g-spot, she shuddered and adjusted herself so that each thrust tapped relentlessly against the sensitive bundle of nerves. “Fuck,” she moaned. “Oh my God, I’m close.”

Courtney continued to rock her hips, but a few short seconds later, she abruptly stopped. Her husband had gone soft inside her and it would’ve been nearly impossible to continue.

“I’m so sorry, babe,” Kurtis offered, completely embarrassed.

“It’s okay,” she said sincerely as she lifted herself up. The woman settled on her side of the bed and folded her arms. “Are you at least feeling alright?”

“A little dizzy but you always have that effect on me.”

She feigned a closed mouth smile, attempting to hide her frustrations but her husband saw right through it.

“I’m sorry, Court. Let me make it up to you.”

The woman raised a curious eyebrow before he gently pushed her back onto the bed and positioned himself with his face in between her legs. He placed gentle bites and fluttery kisses along her inner thighs as her pale pink slit began to moisten in anticipation, but she protested.

“Kurtis, you don’t have to do this. If you’re feeling weak, we can watch tv and cuddle until we fall asleep or-” Courtney let out a strangled gasp when he licked her clit in a slow, long stroke.

“I enjoy this just as much as you do, if not more because you taste phenomenal,” he whispered against her pussy lips before licking once again. The man placed his mouth over the sensitive button and began to firmly suck as his wife reached down and tangled her fingers through his hair while she moaned and writhed under his touch.

“Oh, yeah baby. Just like that,” Courtney mumbled, barely coherent as her back arched.

Kurtis ate his wife’s box with new enthusiasm for several minutes, causing her to whimper and shudder in pleasure when the intense climax washed over every inch of her body leaving her breathless. The man moaned as his mouth was filled with her orgasmic juices. He lapped up every drop before placing a gentle kiss on her porcelain inner thigh.

“Jesus Christ, that was amazing,” she exhaled.

  
“It’s the least I could do,” Kurtis said as he returned to his side of the bed. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled the blanket over both of their bodies. “You do so much for me and my dick just doesn’t seem to appreciate it,” he attempted to joke but his wife immediately caught the disappointment in his voice.

“It’s hard enough for your heart to pump blood for itself, let alone to your penis. So hard penis, soft penis or no penis, I love you and that’s it.”

Kurtis kissed the back of her neck and they sat in silence for a long minute before he spoke. “If something happens to me…at least before Rosie is a teen, I-”

“Kurtis, please don’t do this,” Courtney groaned. “I just had the first orgasm I’ve had in weeks and I want to enjoy spending time with you without death on the brain.”

“I just want you and the kids to be secure.”

“We are secure, honey. There’s a savings account for everything and we both have wills. The kids have college funds and are probably set for life, we can’t get anymore secure.”

“I know,” he sighed. “I just can’t help but worry.”

“Human nature,” Courtney assured as she turned to face him. “And so is this.” The woman kissed her husband so passionately that he thought his heart would give out. “Now, sssh. You have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow.”

——–

After performing his predictable morning routine, Kurtis drove to work and groaned at the remaining stack of paperwork he had to file. But the man simply sighed and immediately got to it, burying himself in the mountain until lunchtime which he had to scarf done in order to make it to his doctor’s appointment.

Kurtis adjusted his robe and nervously shifted his weight on the paper protected exam room seat just as Dr. Davenport entered the room.

“Good afternoon, Mr. DK,” she greeted with a friendly smile. “How are you?”

Kurtis shrugged. “I’m surviving. And after all these years, you still can’t pronounce my last name?”

“Not at all, honey,” the doctor chuckled. “But I’d rather shorten it than screw it up.”

“Me too,” he laughed before coughing.

“That doesn’t sound too good,” she said as she grabbed her stethoscope, placing the headset in her ears and the diaphragm on her patient’s back. “Take a deep breath for me.”

Kurtis began to inhale, only to be short of breath, forcing a violent cough out of him.

“Your heart rate is very fast as it’s working overtime to keep everything flowing.”

“Yeah, I’m feeling a little worse everyday. Do you think I’ll have to be hospitalized soon?”

“It’s a possibility, but I do have good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?”

“Let’s just get the bad out of the way,” he sighed.

“Your kind of condition is one that will rapidly continue to deteriorate, making life even harder than it is now to the point where you’ll be bedridden with even the slightly upset sending you into cardiac arrest.”

“Wow,” he exhaled. “And how much time until that’d happen?”

“About six months.”

Kurtis buried his face into his hands. “Six months,” the man groaned somberly. “I’m only thirty-one, what will happen to my life? My kids will, ugh,” he said nearly breathlessly as he began to hyperventilate.

“Steady breaths, steady breaths,” Dr. Davenport urged. “Don’t strain yourself more than you have to.”

“That’s pretty devastating news, how do you expect me to remain calm?”

“You haven’t even heard the good news yet, Sir.”

Kurtis nodded. They waited in silence while he focused on his breathing. When it was stable, the man spoke again. “Okay, I’m ready.”

“As of yesterday, a new, healthy heart has just become available from a donor. You’ve been on the list for years now and it’s finally your turn. If that’s something you’re still interested in?”

“Are you- yes! Yes, of course I’m still interested!” He said excitedly. “I never thought this day would come.”

“Easy now,” she said with a smile. “Heart transplants come with some very big risks to consider. Such as infection, the new heart could possibly not pump properly which puts a big strain on everything or your body could reject the heart altogether.”

“Damn,” he sighed as he thought for a long minute. “Those are just risks I’ll have to take.”

“There are thousands of people every year that do lead healthy lives after transplants so all we can do is cross our fingers and hope for the best.”

“Sounds good to me,” Kurtis said as he tried to contain his excitement. “I can’t wait to tell my wife and kids! How soon do you think I’ll be able to get the surgery?’

“As soon as the heart arrives from Brooklyn.”

———-

Within the next forty-eight hours, Kurtis took the necessary time off of work, spending every second with his family until he arrived at the hospital that fateful day his life was set to change.

“Babe, you have to stop crying,” he rasped to his wife as she placed the surgical cap on his head. “Everything will be fine.”

“I’m sorry,” Courtney said, quickly wiping her eyes. “I’m being selfish for showing so much emotion right now.”

“No,” he assured. “All this emotion just shows how much you love me.” Kurtis flashed a cheeky grin just before the nurses came to whisk him away.

“I do love you. So much,” she blubbered.

He placed his hands on her cheeks and pulled her down into a passionate kiss. “I love you. And when I wake up, I’ll show you just how much.”

Courtney nodded. “I look forward to it.”

“Ready, Mr. Dam-Mikkelsen?” The nurse asked.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Kurtis said with a smile before turning to his wife. “See you on the other side.”

She blew him a kiss before they unhitched his bed, wheeling him away before she broke down again.

———–

Once the successful four hour surgery was complete, Kurtis was wheeled into the ICU to start his recovery. His room, along with the cap, gown and mask visitors had to wear were sterile so that he’d be safe from possibly infectious bacteria. Each time Courtney came to visit, she made the joke of feeling like an astronaut, which always made Kurtis smile; since they couldn’t kiss, laughter was the next best thing.

Over the next ten days, the monitors tracked the steady progress as the man slowly regained his strength and since there were no complications, he was eventually allowed to leave. Returning home was only the beginning of new medication, weekly doctor visits and adjusting to life with a new heart. It took an entire three months before Kurtis was considered fully recovered, although that didn’t come without a strict diet and health regime, but the man didn’t mind. He was alive and was able to spend more time with his family.

As soon as he was strong enough to walk again, he spent everyday playing with the children. Tea parties, football, and Barbie’s playhouse was only the beginning of family slumber parties, day trips and general ruckus that Courtney would describe as some of the best moments of her life.

Until she began to notice the changes in her husband.

———-

The last night before he was scheduled to return to work, Kurtis took his family out to dinner.

“Daddy, it’s been so much fun having you healthy again!” Rosie chirped as she stabbed her chicken tender.

“Yeah, Dad. I didn’t think you’d ever be able to catch a football again,” Hudson added.

“Aw, buddy you have to have some faith in your old man,” he chuckled.

“We’re all happy,” Grace beamed.

“I’m happy that you’re happy,” Kurtis said as he turned his attention to the dessert side of the menu. “Ooo, fried ice cream.”

Courtney’s eyebrows furrowed. “Have you ever eaten that before?”

“No, but it sounds delicious. Waiter!”

“But do you think you should be eating something so unhealthy so soon?”

“This is a celebratory dessert. It’ll be fine,” he assured as he informed the waiter of what he wanted.

“Okay,” his wife obliged with a sigh.

They continued their meal, finishing off with Kurtis praising the fried ice cream and asking where it’d been his entire life.

“You’re pretty lively today,” said Courtney.

“I’m happy! I’m here with my family, I’m alive! What more could you want?”

“Nothing. I was just making an observation and it’s amazing. I love seeing you like this.”

Kurtis flashed his wife a lust filled look that she hadn’t seen in years.

“Hurry and finish eating kids,” Courtney said with a sudden urgency in her voice. “We have to get home as soon as possible.”

———

“Fuck! Oh, fuck!” Courtney moaned as her third orgasm of the night washed over her. Kurtis continued to slam into her with hard thrusts before reaching down and rubbing her sensitive bundle of nerves, sending the woman over the edge. “Ahh,” she screeched in sheer ecstasy as she attempted to wriggle away from her husband’s touch. “I can’t, I can’t,” she whimpered. “I’ve had enough. Fuck.” The woman collapsed back onto the bed in an euphoric heap.

The expression on his wife’s face was enough to send Kurtis over the edge right after her. He quickly pulled out and shot load after load of hot cum onto Courtney’s stomach, before he fell onto the bed next to her.

“I haven’t come that hard in years. I can’t feel anything,” the blonde panted. “What position was that?”

“The pretzel,” Kurtis informed, voice muffled by the pillow.

“I don’t think I can do that again for another few years. It was Earth shattering.”

“You had gotten used to that pathetic heart failure sex,” the man scoffed. “Let me clean you up, babe,” he said before unexpectedly licking her slit of all the nectar she had released.

“Oh my God, Kurtis, no it’s so sensitive.”

“Okay, okay,” he chuckled before grabbing his shirt off of the floor. The man used it to wipe his cum off of his wife’s stomach and tossed it into the hamper across the room. “I’m back, baby.”

They shared a tender kiss. With Courtney lazily tracing his transplant scar, it wasn’t long before sleep consumed both of them.

——–

That night Kurtis dreamt of a boy. An ivory skinned boy with beautifully waved ebony hair that flowed just past his shoulders. He’d never seen him before, but the urge to love and protect him as he was wrapped in his arms was overwhelming.

——–

The next morning, Kurtis eagerly jumped out of bed and danced as he got ready for work. He entered the closet, scanning through his clothes before selecting a navy blue button down. Instead of his usual comb over hairstyle, he opted for a softly spiked, messy look that he felt made him look at least six years younger. He winked at his reflection in the mirror before making his way to the kitchen.

“Hello, family,” he sang.

“Ooo, Dad, you look so nice!” Grace complimented.

“Yeah!” The other two agreed in unison.

“Wow, honey,” Courtney exhaled as she flipped the omelette. “I’ve never seen your hair like that before. I like it.”

“Thanks,” he beamed, stealing a kiss before opening the refrigerator. “Do we have any chocolate frosting?”

His wife’s eyebrows furrowed. “Chocolate frosting? Why?”

“To eat,” he said as if it was obvious.

She thought he was joking, so she giggled but when his expression didn’t change, she looked into his eyes and they had a quality about the that she couldn’t quite put her finger on, but something was definitely different. “Honey…you can’t eat plain frosting.”

“Why not?” He practically whined.

Courtney was taken aback by her husband’s behavior. “Kurtis,” she said sternly as if she was disciplining one of the children. “I made you an omelette. It’s good for you, especially so soon after your surgery.”

“It’s been three months! That’s not a long time.”

“Kurtis,” she said in a tone he didn’t hear too often, but the children watched with wide eyes. “Either you eat this omelette or you can starve because you are not eating frosting or anything else with the nutritional value of a tub of lard. Your choice.”

The man bit his lip. “You are so hot when you talk like that.”

“Eww!” The children giggled.

Courtney looked at him through bewildered eyes. Kurtis simply stole a kiss before taking the skillet out of her hand along with a fork from the drawer and began to eat right out of the pan. “Very good, Court. Could use a little sugar though,” he joked.

His wife frowned.

“I’m only kidding! Don’t stress so much. You know what we ought to do? Sign up for a painting class! I’ve been feeling my inner artist lately and I think I’d be really good. Plus it’d be a good stress reliever for you.” The man took another bite, grabbed his briefcase in the other hand and headed towards the front door. “Love you guys. See you later! Woo!”

“What the heck was that?” Asked Rosie.

“I have no idea, but he better get his act together soon,” her mother replied. “And don’t say heck.”

———-

“Alyssa Edwards!” Kurtis clamored as he burst into the law office.

Startled, the woman jumped. “Well look at you! Someone is feeling amazing on his first day back. And look at this,” she stood before feeling his shirt. “Is that silk? I never thought you’d wear something besides tweed.”

“I feel like a new man.”

“You look great. It’s nice seeing you without all the tubes and machines sticking out of ya.”

“I kind of liked it. My nurse was hot so the sponge baths were always welcomed,” he said with a wink before walking down the hall to his office.

She laughed. “Courtney had better been your nurse or I’m snitching!”

Kurtis entered the room and was immediately greeted by the massive stack of fresh papers on his desk. “On my first day back? Seriously?” He asked himself incredulously just as the mischievous ideas flooded his mind. “Alyssa?”

“Yes, Dr. Jekyll?”

“Could you info my so called partner that his presence is needed here asap?”

“Calling Willam Belli as we speak…”

“Thank you,” he said with a grin before pulling the scissors and a stapler out of his drawer.

Within a few minutes, Willam had traveled from his office on the other side of the building and without so much as a knock, entered the other man’s. His expression went from annoyed to confused to horrified within a matter of seconds as he witnessed Kurtis cut the official law documents into chain of paper dolls. He’d already created a pirate hat and various airplane models that had been thrown about the room.

“Watch this,” he said to the man before letting go of one end of the chain, watching it fall to the ground. “Cool, right?”

“Are you insane?! Those documents are full of evidence for the case! To get those reprinted and organized is going to set us back at least two whole days!”

“Well, I’d suggest that you skip the strip club tonight and get to work, asshole,” Kurtis said with a maniacal laugh.

Willam turned bright red from either rage or embarrassment, but Kurtis didn’t care. He’d wanted to say that to his partner for years, but never had the nerve…until now. The man immediately stormed off, prompting Alyssa and a young male intern to appear in his doorway shortly after.

“You’re my hero,” Alyssa gasped.

“No more pushovers here,” he said with a grin before the young man caught his eye in a way he couldn’t explain. Kurtis had never really paid the boy much attention before, but there was something about him that was…

 _Attractive?_ He thought. _No way. I’m not gay_. Kurtis couldn’t help his eyes from wandering to the boy’s lips. They were full and pink and for the first time in his life, imagined what it’d be like to kiss another man. He quickly shook his head of the imagery before speaking again.

“Um, Danny Noriega, right?”

The boy nodded.

“What case are you working on for your internship?”

“The Delano vs. Estranja suit, Sir.”

The use of the title was enough for the man to feel a twinge of satisfaction. Even a turn on?

 _No!_ Kurtis screamed internally. _What the fuck. What the fuck_ , the man thought frantically before looking up at the boy once more. He couldn’t deny the fact that the boy would be considered extremely cute in society, but it bothered him that he agreed.  “Um, well good luck on that.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty messy.”

“Well, if you ever need help with anything, just let me know,” Kurtis offered before instantly regretting it.

The boy’s face lit up. “Thank you, Sir.”

Kurtis swallowed spit.

“We need to get back to work,” said Alyssa as she turned on her heel and sauntered away.

“Later,” Danny said to Kurtis before turning to follow her. The man’s gaze went straight to the boy’s ass. When the curiosity of how it would feel in his hands crossed his mind, he immediately picked up the phone and called his wife.

“Hi, honey,” Courtney beamed when she answered.

“What are you doing?”

“Just running some errands. I’m at the market now picking up some things for dinner.”

“What are you wearing?” He asked in attempt to erase the visual of the young boy from his mind.

“A cute little sun dress.”  

“Panties?”

“Honey,” she chastised bashfully.

“Tell me.”

“I can’t. I’m about to get in line.”

“No, no, please just answer before you go.”

“A pink g-string,” the woman whispered. “Now, I have to go, you nasty boy,” she giggled. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Kurtis sighed before hanging up. When his thoughts went right back to images of the boy’s ass, he pressed the Google app on his phone before hesitantly typing gay. The first results were locations of several bars followed by dating websites then support groups. Kurtis slowly added ‘porn’ to his search and an array of pictures and videos popped up. Startled by the images, he quickly locked his phone.

After tucking the device away, Kurtis spent the remainder of the work day attempting to focus on his responsibilities. But as soon as he was seated alone in his car, a few seconds of hard contemplating went by before he unlocked his phone and began to scroll through the porn. His reactions varied from disgust, to fascination, to finding the stuff completely erotic.

“Damn,” he groaned at the stiffening of his cock as he watched a man pound another from behind. Kurtis quickly glanced around and made sure the parking lot was empty before he selected the POV angled video, biting his lip as the pink hole was stretched beyond belief around a massive cock.

“That’s insane,” Kurtis exhaled as his hand drifted down towards his crotch where a massive tent had been pitched. Both men in the porno were eliciting delicious moans that made Kurtis harder than he ever thought imaginable. He undid his pants, releasing his cock that was already dripping with precum. Using it as lube, he quickly began to stroke himself in time with the thrusts of the man in the video.

He went on like this for not even two minutes before he could feel his balls tighten in preparation for release. When the man in the video came right onto the other guy’s hole, Kurtis knew he couldn’t hold off any longer. He opened his glove compartment and pulled a few sheets of Kleenex from the box. Placing them over the head of his cock, Kurtis sent massive load after load of hot cum into the soft tissues.

“Fuck,” the man groaned. “Am I gay now?” He asked himself. “But Courtney is still attractive to me…so bisexual?” Kurtis closed his eyes and rubbed his temples in frustration. He didn’t understand how this sudden attraction to men was possible. He had no idea what was going on but it terrified him. He loved his wife and he never wanted to do anything to compromise that. The ride home was one filled with anxiety as the usual excitement of seeing Courtney was replaced with fear of the unknown.

Kurtis hesitantly entered his home and was greeted by the strong smell of fish and garlic. The man immediately retched.

“Hey, honey,” Courtney greeted him at the door as usual; a habit that stemmed from steadying him on the days he was too weak to walk. “What’s wrong?”

“It smells like rotten fish in here!” he said, voice muffled by his arm over his nose.

His wife frowned. “It’s just crab legs. You love crab legs.”

“The smell is making me so nauseous. I can’t be in here. Do you mind if I go out for a sub or something?”

Hurt but his inquiry after she’d worked hard to prepare the meal for him, she simply shrugged. “Do what you want, Kurtis.”

“Thanks babe.” He leaned in and kissed her, but just like he’d feared, there was a disconnect.

Courtney felt it too, but she already upset with him, so it was only natural for her to not put anything into the smooch. An entirely different reason flooded the man’s mind as he turned to leave.

Once he was in his car again, Kurtis googled ‘food near me’ and ironically one of the first options that popped up was a gay bar. Curiosity getting the best of him, he reluctantly selected it.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” he sighed nervously. The man entered the building and was instantly amazed by the energy. There were flashing lights, blaring music and even men dancing in cages that hung from the ceiling. It was unlike anything Kurtis had seen before. He had hoped that his attraction to men would stop at Danny, but as he walked further into this place, he found himself checking out several other guys. Kurtis shook his head, sat at the bar and asked for a menu.

“I recommend the ‘Two Weenies, One Cup’,” the bartender said with a wink as he hadn’t the sheet to him.

The man’s eyebrows shot up as he searched the page for the item. “ _Two pretzel wrapped wieners and a cup of the dipping sauce of your choice…_ ” he read incredulously before looking at the next item. “ _¼ pound of 100% ~~anal~~ angus beef burger, served with ~~condoms~~ condiments of your choice…If you can fit your first in your mouth, you get a free basket of wings_!” Kurtis looked up at the man. “Is everything on this menu a sexual innuendo?”

“Pretty much,” the man chuckled. “You new?”

“I guess you can say that.”

“Ladies, we have fresh meat!” He announced to everyone within earshot prompting a chorus of cheers and applause. “You can have whatever you want. It’s on the house.”

“Thank you so much. That’s very generous.”

“Well, of course you have to blow me afterwards.”

The man’s eyes grew wide.

“Kidding!” he giggled.

Kurtis laughed in relief. “I guess I’ll take the burger. I haven’t had one in years.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, my wife is obsessed with making me eat healthy.”

The man gasped. “Wife? Your beard?”

“No, I’m actually in love with her, but today is the first day that I’ve had…thoughts…of men.”

“Find yourself first, honey and everything else will fall into place,” the man advised.

Kurtis nodded.

“Well I gave you a tip, time to return the favor,” he said with a smirk.

“The night is young,” Kurtis said simply.

The man chuckled then got back to work mixing drinks. When Kurtis finally received his burger, he ate as he watched the action on the dancefloor. The guys were grinding against each other, making out or both. Kurtis didn’t understand his sudden interest in this world and he surely didn’t want to be a part of it. He loved his wife and he seemed to constantly have to remind himself of this.

As Kurtis thought about the day’s events, he went through every detail and began to rationalize.

 _Guys can find other guys attractive without being gay,_ he assured himself. _And sex is just sex, of course it’s a turn on. Doesn’t make me a homosexual._ Kurtis knew the excuses were beyond pathetic, but he accepted them as valid reasons why he wasn’t gay.

“Hi,” a light voice greeted.

Kurtis turned and made eye contact with the young man. “Hey.”

“I’m Justin,” he said, extending his hand.

“Kurtis.” The man returned the gesture.

“So let’s get straight to the point, your penis, my anus?”

Kurtis nearly choked on air. “Excuse me?”

“Let’s get out of here. I’m DTF.”

“Um, no thanks,” he stuttered. “I’m married.”

Justin gasped. “Then why are you here?”

“That’s a really good question,” the man mumbled before dismissing the boy. He thanked the bartender once again for the free food and supplied a generous tip.

Kurtis hopped in his car and sped all the way home. When he entered the house for the second time that evening, Courtney was seated in the living room waiting for him; stoic as she sat in the luxurious recliner.

“Hey, baby,” he said nervously.

“We need to talk.”

“I hate when you say that,” he groaned.

Courtney shot him an infuriated look.

“Kidding…haha.” He swallowed hard before making his way over to the couch across from her.

“Kurtis, what’s going on with you?”

His eyes grew wide. “What do you mean?”

“The sudden need for crappy foods, this behavior- do you know Hudson threw a tantrum after I told him he couldn’t have butter for dinner? _Butter_ , Kurtis! The kids are beginning to mimic all of these new quirks and I don’t like it.”

“I didn’t realize…”

“Just like you didn’t realize that you didn’t even speak to them before you rushed out of here earlier? It took me an hour to convince Rosie that you weren’t in the hospital again.”

“My poor baby,” he said somberly. “I’ll go talk to her.”

“She’s sleeping. It’s late.”

“I’m sorry, Court.” Kurtis reached for her hand but she pulled it away.

“Where did you go tonight? Since you have such a gag reflex for seafood now…”

“Um, it was this hole in the wall sub place over on Sunset.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s it called?”

He said the first thing that came to mind. “Boys. Boy’s Subs.”

“Hmm.”

Kurtis nervously twiddled his thumbs at her response, but to his relief, she changed the subject.

“Did you get turkey and wheat bread?”

He nodded.

“Good. You really have to keep your eating clean. Having gone through what you’ve been through ought to make you want to be even more cautious, but you suddenly want frosting by the spoonfuls.”

“I’m just enjoying my second chance at life, but you’re right. I’m not sure what’s going on with me.”

“I’m not sure either, but get yourself together, okay?”

“Alright, baby.”

Her smile was soft. “I’m going to get ready for bed. You can join me if you want.”

“Always,” he said as he stood and took her hand. They shared a kiss. It wasn’t as bad as the first one, but there was still something off. At least to his extreme relief, Kurtis still thought his wife was the most beautiful person in the world.

He led her to their bedroom and gently pushed her against the wall before kissing her again. His hands traced down the sides of her body then around to her ass. Kurtis began to fondle it; soft, just like he imagined Danny’s would be.

“That feels nice,” Courtney exhaled against his lips.

Kurtis smiled, lifted her by the ass and carried her to the bed. He undid the buttons on her satin pajamas while she loosened his belt. Before long, they were both naked. Courtney laid on her back in anticipation for her favorite position, but instead, her husband flipped her over, ass up. From this angle, Kurtis began to rub her slit instantly causing her to moan.

When her husband placed a finger at the entrance of her asshole, she paused. The couple had never been involved in ass play before but when he began to rub circles on her hole, all of her inhibitions melted away. After a few minutes of this stimulation, Kurtis aligned his rock hard cock with Courtney’s asshole.

Unaware of the proper steps to prepare for anal sex, Kurtis attempted to push into her dry.

“Ow!” She cried before pulling away. “What the fuck are you doing?!”

He was so caught up in the lust filled adventure, the man hardly realized what he was doing himself. So when his wife snapped him out of it, he looked like a deer in headlights.

“You know I’m not into anal sex. It’s disgusting! And the next time you just try to stick something in me, it’d be nice if you asked first,” Courtney fumed as she pushed herself off of the bed. She grabbed her robe and wrapped it around her body. “I don’t know who you are anymore,” was the last thing she said before storming out.

“Fuck my life,” Kurtis groaned as he collapsed onto the bed. “Ever since that stupid heart transplant. Heart transplant…” he exhaled in disbelief. The man pulled on his boxer’s before grabbing his laptop and typing ‘heart transplant side effects’ into the search engine. Things such as heart rejection and medication side effects came up. Kurtis shook his head before typing ‘heart transplant donor traits’

He clicked on the first webpage result and began to read.

_Can An Organ Transplant Change A Recipient’s Personality? Cell Memory Theory Affirms ‘Yes’  
_

_The heart ultimately stores memories through combinatorial coding by nerve cells, which allows the sensory system to recognize smells, according to cellular memory theory._

The rest of the page continued to go on with medical terms Kurtis didn’t understand, so he went to a new one that included real people’s stories.

_A study has shown that sometimes donor recipients take on certain characteristics or personality traits from the donor, a phenomenon that researchers are having a difficult time explaining._

_One recipient’s son, who had before been a vegetarian, began craving meat and greasy food after his transplant. His music preferences also changed from favoring heavy metal to preferring fifties rock 'n’ roll. All of these preferences turned out to be the donor’s preferences as well._

_Critics argue that such a phenomenon is not possible, but the proof is in the cases themselves._

_In one case, a 3-year-old Arabian girl received a heart transplant from an 8-year-old Jewish boy who died in a car accident. After her surgery, the girl asked for a type of Jewish candy that, prior to the surgery, she did not even know existed._

_In another case, an 8-year-old girl who had received a heart transplant from a 10-year-old girl that had been murdered, began to have nightmares about the donor’s murderer. After several consultations with a psychiatrist, it was decided that the police should be notified. The 8-year-old recipient was able to identify key clues about the murder, including who the murderer was, when and how it happened, and even the words spoken by the murderer to the victim. Amazingly, the entire testimony turned out to be true and the murderer was convicted for his crime._

“Oh my God,” Kurtis gasped. He quickly pushed himself off of the bed and out of their room. “Courtney,” he whispered as he quickly paced the hall into the guest room.

“What?” was his wife’s annoyed reply as she laid in bed.

“I know I’ve been acting weird lately, but look at this. It might explains some things.” He placed the laptop on the bed next to her. She quickly read through the article.

“That is absolutely incredible,” Courtney exhaled. “This says they can even quote things that the donor would say. I wonder if your donor was an irresponsible calorie guzzler.”

“I think they must’ve been. I never had fried ice cream before the other night and I suddenly had such a strong craving for it. And don’t even get me started on the candy.”

“Don’t get _me_ started on the behavior.”

“Baby, I’m sorry. For everything. And now that I have an idea of what’s going on, I can try to do more to prevent myself from being stupid.”

“Oh, don’t blame the heart for that,” she teased.

“Jerk,” he chuckled.

Courtney gave Kurtis a playful shove before he leaned down and kissed her. “Do you forgive me?”

“No,” the woman scoffed.

Her husband straddled her and began to litter her face with wet kisses.

“Eww!” She giggled. “You’re gross! Stoppp!”

“Say…that you…forgive me,” the man said between slobbery smooches.

“Fine! I forgive you.”

Kurtis stole the last kiss from her lips before settling in the bed beside her. “I have a new project now.”

“And what would that be?”

“Learning more about my donor.”

———

Besides the fact that they had lived in Brooklyn, Kurtis had no information on his donor and on his next doctor’s visit a few days later, he couldn’t wait to get answers.

“You mean you can’t even tell me what their name was?”

“No,” Dr. Davenport replied. “I’m telling you that I don’t even know what their name was. That stuff is pretty confidential to the hospital staff, especially since I’m not the one who performed the surgery.”

“But is there some way to learn about the donor? I mean, how do recipients ever thank the families?”

“There should be an online registry for donors and recipients. Maybe that will give you more info, maybe not.”

“That’ll be a good place to start.”

“And all I know about your donor is that they were from Brooklyn, they were twenty-five years old and they had a good heart. Literally.”

“Twenty-five?!” he gasped. “That’s so young. I wonder what happened to them.”

The doctor shrugged. “Not sure.”

It all suddenly made sense to Kurtis. “Maybe my donor was a woman.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I’ve been having this reoccurring dream about this guy. There’s like a magnetic force between us. And in the dream, all I want to do is hold him and eat candy. That sounds like a thing a girl would do…right?”

“It sounds very romantic,” the doctor offered without conforming to his misogynist idea. “And you say all you crave is junk food?”

“Yes! It’s like they were the dumpster behind McDonald’s in a past life.”

“Yikes. Well we have to fight those cravings and keep you strong. Heart rejection is still very possible at this moment and time. The risks start to go down after a year or so, but you will constantly have to fight, okay?”

Kurtis nodded. “Well, I feel great. I just want to get to know more about my reincarnation. I at least know they loved bright things. I find myself drawn to more bold clothing,” he chuckled. “And I even find myself trying to create stuff! Like I tried to paint the other day and failed miserably, but it seems like the donor was an interesting person.”

“Oh!” Dr. Davenport seemed to suddenly remember something as she began to dig in her files. “I can give you the organ number. Maybe you can put that in a search engine and find some more information about them.” The woman handed him the sheet of paper with the basic stuff he already knew about his donor and the organ number at the top in bold lettering.

“Thank you so much, Doc.”

“Anytime, Mr. DK.”

As soon as Kurtis arrived home, he was greeted by Courtney and his children in the foyer. Dressed in swimming suits and other gear. “Hi, Daddy!” Rosie beamed as she rushed into his arms.

“Hey, gubber!” He planted a loving kiss on her hair and pulled the other two into a group hug before his wife asked about the appointment.

“Great! I have some information that might help me find my donor.”

“That’s incredible honey. Now go put it away so we can head out.”

Kurtis paused. “Where are you guys going?”

“Uh, the water park,” Grace said as if it was obvious.

“You’ve been promising to take them for a week now,” Courtney reminded, tone instantly revealing her annoyance.

“Oh, yeah. I totally spaced on that.

“‘Totally spaced’?” his wife scoffed. “Don’t tell me your donor was like fourteen and you’re compelled to use such phrases now.”

“As a matter of fact, they were twenty-five. And I’m sure they did say really cool things and I’ll keep saying whatever I feel like saying.”

“As of lately, you always say and do whatever you feel like doing without considering anybody else,” she retorted, voice growing louder with each word.

“Can you guys not fight right now?” Hudson pleaded. “The waterpark is calling my name.”

“There’s a pool in the backyard,” Kurtis hinted.

“Nooo!” The three children whined in unison.

“We don’t have a five hundred foot slide back there,” Grace added.

“Well, my children have been promised something and if their own father wants to ditch them at the last minute then that’s his loss because I’m still taking them.”

“I’m not ditching them,” her husband hissed. “And for you to say that in front of them to make yourself seem like the better parent is really low Courtney.”

“You make yourself look like a f- oo,” she fumed before stopping; not wanting to curse him out in front of the kids.

“Kids, go to your room,” Kurtis ordered.

“Whyyy?” They protested.

“Because I said so! Go, _now_!”

“Don’t yell at them like that!”

Rosie burst into tears.

Courtney shot daggers in her husband’s direction before picking up her daughter and caressing her hair. “Do you see what you’ve done?”

Kurtis reached for Rosie, but his wife turned away. “We’re leaving for the park now. You can choose to join us or not.”

The man rolled his eyes before walking away. “Give me five minutes.”

“Yay!” The two older kids cheered. Courtney led them to the black Range Rover, making sure they were all buckled in before she got into the driver’s seat.

“Is Daddy mad at us?” Rosie sniffled.

Courtney turned around to look a the girl. “No, sweetie. Of course not,” she assured.

“He seems kind of…” Grace said as she twirled her finger at the side of her temple and whistled. Hudson agreed.

The woman sighed. “Try not to judge your father too harshly. On top of his surgery, he’s been going through some other things and it has his mind frazzled.”

“He’s been fun sometimes,” the boy offered. “Getting us cupcakes and Starburst for breakfast that one week was awesome.”

“Shut up! That’s supposed to be a secret,” his sister chastised.

Courtney could feel her blood begin to boil. She kept her voice calm but the kids recognised her tone.. “When did he feed you guys cupcakes and candy?”

“That week when he was off from work and he offered to let you sleep in…” Hudson reluctantly admitted.

“Hmm. Anything else I should know about?”

“We were all playing dress up and Dad said that I could wear your clothes,” Grace began. “Then he had all these paints and we started painting in the backyard and some red paint got on your white Louboutins. Dad told me not to worry and he threw them in the trash.”

The woman gasped. “Is that why I couldn’t find them that day I was going out with friends?”

The girl nodded. “And Dad ‘found them’ by buying you another pair.”

“And that’s why my feet were killing me. I had to break the shoes in all over again,” she said in disbelief before sighing. “At least he thought enough to replace them. Anything else?”

The kids went on and on, revealing all of the shenanigans and close calls they had gotten into with their father.

 _Before his illness and transplant, Kurtis was never this irresponsible,_ Courtney thought. _Whoever the donor was, they were a real Drongo._ She glanced at the clock on her dashboard, they had been waiting in the car for twenty minutes now. The woman groaned internally.

“Should I go check on your father or should I just leave him?”

“Check on him,” The kids said guiltily after all the snitching they had done.

“I will be no more than thirty seconds. The air is on so you won’t overheat. Do not leave your seats, do not wander off and do _not_ talk to strangers,” she ordered.

“Mom…we’re still in the garage,” Grace reminded.

“Right…but my rules still apply,” she said as she opened the door. “I’ll be right back.” Courtney quickly rushed into the house and towards her bedroom. She could hear her husband’s voice from the hallway.

“Yes, donor P90119,” the man repeated into the phone. “Is there anything you can tell me about them?”

Courtney rounded the corner into the bedroom. Kurtis was seated at his desk, still dressed in his regular clothes as he scrawled information onto his notepad.

“Kurtis,” she practically hissed. “The kids and I have been waiting twenty minutes.”

He glanced up at her and placed a hand over the receiver. “Five more minutes, babe, I swear.”

The woman turned on a heel, stormed down the hall and returned to her car. She told her children that their father wasn’t feeling well and that they would be going without him. The kids wanted to go check on him, but their mother assured them that he would be okay. Courtney even gave him the benefit of three more minutes before she pulled out of the garage.

“Thank you so much,” Kurtis beamed before hanging up the phone. He picked up the notepad and reviewed the information he’d just received. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to be able to reach someone in the donor’s life to be able to thank them. “Donor name: Matthew Lent. He was twenty-five, married, and a craft and fine artist, ugh this explains so much,” he chuckled. “Height, weight and last known address. Hopefully someone he knew still lives there,” Kurtis sighed before standing up. “Courtney, I’m coming! Sorry it took so long.”

When the woman didn’t reply, her husband stepped into the hallway. “Is anybody here?” He asked himself as he made his way to the garage and discovered it void of the family vehicle. “Fuck,” the man groaned. “The kids are gonna be so upset.” But his annoyance at the situation quickly vanished when he returned to his bedroom.

As if he was writing to Santa Claus, Kurtis eagerly grabbed a pen and his stationery set. He didn’t know who he was writing to, but he hoped the message got to anyone who knew his donor for he wanted to thank them for their loss so that he could live again.

————–

A week after Matt’s death, Jason numbly made funeral arrangements. Dr. Sutan had them return his wedding ring before he was taken to a local funeral home.

There was a wake in which the artist’s family and friends were able to mourn the devastating loss and say their goodbyes, with Jake, delivering the final tearful eulogy. As he laid peacefully in his casket, Matt was dressed in his favorite navy blue suit. Jason tucked a paintbrush into his pocket along with a small sketchbook and a few tubes of acrylic paint.

“Don’t go too crazy,” the brunette sniffled. “You have to make these last.” As he thought about the bratty reply Matt surely would’ve had, Jason burst into tears. He missed his husband, immature ways and all. He wasn’t sure if he had the strength to go on.

But Jason obliged and spent the next two months in the hospital, learning to cope in a world without Matt. Life would never be vivid again, but each day was easier than the last. He was grateful to Dr. Sutan for lying to him to save his life and and as promised, the moment he was allowed to check out, he was given his husband’s things, which didn’t go over without a tear or two. The brown paper bag included his clothing and a single sheet of paper.

He couldn’t bring himself to check the page, instead opting to put it in the lockbox at his job in order to keep it safe until he was ready.

A month after Jason had checked out of the the hospital, he returned to work and within a week, was reprimanded for approving loans for ridiculous things like trips to the Bermuda Triangle, money to buy the worn underwear of some obscure model from the 1980s and even a lifetime supply of pizza. He eventually pulled himself together and went about his life as best he could. But every so often, he would find himself staring at the red and violet painting on his mantle, reminding him that things should get better soon, he just had a hard time believing it.

“You’re losing weight again,” Dax said as he sunk into the couch next to his friend.

“So?” Jason sighed.

“Sooo, you need to eat.”

“I did eat.”

“Today?”

The brunette nodded.

“What, air? Because I’ve been here all day and you haven’t moved from this couch.”

“Are you going to harass me all weekend?”

“I’m not harassing, I just want you to be okay.”

“I’m okay, Dax. I promise. And if it makes you feel better I’ll make a sandwich or something.”

“Yes, it would make me feel a whole lot better.”

Jason nodded and he pushed himself off of the couch.

“With extra mayo,” Dax added.

The brunette smiled and shook his head as he made his way to the kitchen. He began to slice the tomatoes when the delivery man dropped his mail through the door’s slot. They hit the floor in a light patter.

“Could you get those, Dax?”

“Sure,” his friend said before standing and making his way over to the door.

“It’s probably nothing but bills.”

Dax picked up the envelopes and began to flip through them. “Junk, junk, bill, junk, jun-” he stopped when he saw the letter with the handwritten address.

“What’s that one?” Jason asked.

His friend slowly looked up at him. “It says ‘to the family of Matthew Lent’.”

Jason dropped his knife and instantly grabbed the letter from Dax’s hands, a little frantic, but his friend understood.

“Who is Kurtis Dam-whatever?”

“I don’t know,” the brunette exhaled as he carefully ripped into the back of the envelope. He pulled out the page and unfolded it, revealing the handwritten letter. Jason immediately began to read.

_Dear family and friends of Matthew Lent or whomever it may concern,_

_My name is Kurtis Dam-Mikkelsen. I’m a thirty-one year old defense attorney that lives in Los Angeles. For the past few years, I have been suffering from congestive heart failure and my doctor inevitably gave me six months to live. Because I have a wife and three children, this news was absolutely devastating to me. It wasn’t until I was informed of a new heart available from a selfless donor that my life began to change. I had a successful transplant and I wanted to learn who my donor was, to be able to thank their family. Over the past three months, I’ve noticed massive changes in my attitude, thought process and even appetite! After a lot of research, apparently this is a common thing. Organs have the ability of keeping memories of things including smells and tastes. I’ve gone from a fat and sodium free diet to loathing fish and wanting fried ice cream all the time._

Jason gasped in disbelief as tears flooded his eyes, making it difficult to read. He quickly rubbed them and continued.

_My wife gets on my case for being whiny and immature, but I can’t seem to help it anymore. Matthew was obviously a strong willed person who I’m sure got his way. Through my research, I also discovered that Matthew was married, so maybe his wife will get to see this letter and take it how she will. I’m sure Matthew was very special to you. I’m not aware of your grieving status and if this letter stirred up unwanted memories or emotions, I’m very sorry._

_Feel free to call me and curse me out for it or ask me questions at the number listed below. And If it’s okay with you, I’d love to get to know more about Matthew._

_Sincerely, Kurtis_

_P.S. I keep having this reoccurring dream about this pale man with long brunette hair and an incredible smile. I’m not sure if it has anything to do with Matthew but I was wondering if that description sounds familiar to you? I just want to find answers to the questions I have about my new life. Thank you so much and I hope to hear from you soon. (123) 654-3753, kurtisdk@gmail.com_

“That description does sound pretty familiar,” Jason sniffled to himself. “Oh my God, that’s absolutely incredible.”

To ease Dax’s frantic confusion, the brunette handed him the letter and made his way back to the couch. His friend quickly read the note and was simply amazed. “That’s amazing and creepy. The heart makes him dream of you…it’s cheesy in an Edgar Allan Poe type of way. And I love how he just assumed that Matt was married to a woman.”

“I’m not ready to call.”

“You don’t have to rush anything or do something you don’t want to,” his friend assured.

Jason nodded.

“Do you need anything? I’m gonna head for work in a minute.”

“No, I’m okay and I’m going to finish my sandwich, though.”

Dax smiled as he pulled on his shoes. “Good. See you tomorrow.”

“See ya.”

As soon as his friend was out of the house, Jason reread the letter at least four more times, staining it with his tears.

After composing himself, the brunette picked up his phone and dialed the number. He couldn’t believe what was happening and when the man answered sooner than anticipated, he was nearly at a loss for words.

“Hello?” Kurtis asked for a second time.

“Hi,” Jason exhaled. Before he could continue, Kurtis spoke again.

“This may sound weird, but your voice sounds so familiar. I have no idea who you are, and yet your voice is practically giving me butterflies. You must’ve been very important to Matthew… Are you a brother or a friend or?”

“A husband.”

In an instant, everything in Kurtis’ mind finally made sense. “Are you the man of my dreams? Um, I mean…are you the pale brunette with the incredible smile?”

Jason tried to hide his blush, but then remembered that he was on the phone. “I am pretty pale and a brunette…and Matt told me how incredible my smile was everyday,” he sniffled.

“Oh, so you called him Matt?”

“Yes. And Matthew when he was in trouble.”

Kurtis chuckled. “I’m guessing he was in trouble a lot.”

“His shenanigans were daily, but I grew to love them and I miss them even more now… Toothpaste oreos, plastic toilet paper, or simply popping around the corner to scare me.”

“Oh no,” Kurtis giggled.

“But afterwards he’d always pull me close and smother me with kisses until I forgave him.”

Kurtis couldn’t help but analyze each and every trait of Matt’s that he’d inherited. “I do that to my wife…”

“How long have you guys been married?”

“Twelve years.”

“That’s amazing,” Jason said sincerely.

“But recently, I’ve found myself… _looking_ … at men.”

“Since the transplant?”

“Yes.”

“Wow,” he exhaled in disbelief.

“And the type of guys I tend to find attractive are pale brunettes…”

“Crazy. How does your wife feel about this?”

“She doesn’t know,” Kurtis whispered into the receiver.

The silence that followed was heavy, but not awkward. It went on for about a minute before the younger boy spoke again.

“Do you have anymore questions?”

“What’s your name?”

“Jason.”

The sound of the name made the man’s heart flutter. They spent the next four hours talking and laughing. Kurtis asked more questions about Matt and Jason’s life together, feeling as if he’d lived the memories himself. He felt more connected to his donor than ever, and now he’d found a friend in his husband.

Over the next two weeks, the pair shared thousands of text messages and called each at every opportunity they got, even if they had nothing to talk about.

“I just wanted to hear your voice,” Kurtis would say. “It’s comforting to me.”

After work, the man would sit in the parking lot of his job and spend hours talking to Jason, inevitably missing dinner several nights a week. He’d apologize to his wife and children, blaming the busy case at work for his frequent absences.

Out of guilt, one night he arrived home with toys for the kids and a diamond bracelet for his wife.

“This is gorgeous Kurtis, thank you,” Courtney sighed. “But I hardly see you anymore. I miss you.”

“I miss you too, baby. But this case is just tough. We want to examine every piece of evidence to make sure that our client is proven innocent.”

“I’m sorry,” she offered. “You’re working so hard and I shouldn’t complain.”

“No, you have every right to be upset, but I’m doing my best. The gifts were just small tokens for you and the kids to show my appreciation for understanding the long hours.”

“We understand, honey. Just be careful not to overwork yourself, or your heart.”

“I won’t,” he assured. “And Court, I know we were going through a rough patch for a minute there, but I want you to know that I love you and nothing will ever change that.”

“I love you too, Kurtis.”

They shared a kiss and things quickly escalated from there. Before they knew it, the couple was naked and ready to make love. Kurtus turned his wife around in preparation for doggy style but when he placed his cock at Courtney’s wet entrance, he went soft.

“What’s wrong?” She panted.

“Hold on,” he said as he began to stroke himself in attempt to fix the problem before his wife noticed. After about a minute and thoughts of Jason on his mind, he grew stiff once again. “Okay.”

“I’m ready,” she said with a wiggle of her ass.

Kurtis slammed into his wife with one her thrust that made her moan and her knees buckle. He grabbed her hips, pulled back and entered again, eventually working up a pace of deep penetrations that made her gasp each time his cock brushed past her g-spot. The man focused his attention on his wife’s ass, imagining that he was fucking it instead.

He still found his wife to be incredibly beautiful, but over the past few weeks her vagina became less and less appealing. Kurtis couldn’t bear to tell her this, so the foreplay and going down on her was mostly exaggerated lip smacking and strategic finger movements until she’d reach her climax and afterwards, he’d finish himself off above the toilet. But for those nights when he couldn’t even bring himself to put his face near her slit, he would just talk dirty to her and hope that it’d be enough.

Luckily tonight it was. His only problem was staying hard if he remembered the ugly flesh cave he was burying himself in. So he simply imagined being wrapped into the brunette’s warmth, and it was usually enough to get him off.

As he continued to pound his wife, the woman gasped and clutched to the pillow beneath her. “Oh, yes! Fuck my pussy!” She moaned.

The man’s expression was full of chagrin as he attempted to keep going, but the words were a complete boner killer and he went soft inside her.

“Oh my God,” Courtney panted. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” he lied as he pulled out.

The woman turned around. “Is it your heart? Are you okay?”

“Maybe…It’s just been a really long day and I’m kinda tired.”

“Oh no, why didn’t you tell me? Lay down and relax, baby.”

“Because I don’t want you to worry.”

“Kurtis, I always worry about you. Even when you were perfectly healthy, I worried about you. When you’re out of my sight, I worry until you return. It’s just in my nature.”

“Well, someone loves me,” he teased.

“Shut up,” she giggled as she pulled the blanket over both of them.

Kurtis swallowed hard. “I’m leaving for a business trip tomorrow,” he said, barely audible.

“What? Why so sudden?”

“It wasn’t sudden, I’ve known for awhile, but I didn’t want you to worry. It’s just for a few days, though.”

“Okay,” she sighed. “Where are you going?”

“Brooklyn…”

“Oh, that’s nice. Is it for your case?”

“Yes. Apparently some witness just relocated their and they want me to go interview him there.” The man’s lies had become so effortlessly smooth that Courtney couldn’t even detect them anymore. He hated being dishonest to his wife, but he couldn’t exactly tell her that he was going to meet his organ donor’s husband whom he’d secretly grown unexplainable feelings for.

“Well, have fun, take your meds and be careful,” The woman said before kissing his cheek.

“I will.”

————–

Kurtis was extremely nervous and yet comforted by the seemingly familiar feeling of the JFK airport as he walked through the terminal. He and Jason just knew that they had to meet in person sooner or later. And although none of their conversations had been sexual, they both felt the underlying tension between them. But they assured that they were just friends and they couldn’t wait to see each other and talk about the phenomenal situation.

He turned the last corner into the arrivals waiting area and immediately spotted the brunette in the crowd just as he saw him. They smiled at each other and rushed into a warm embrace. Kurtis’ heart skipped a beat as he buried his face into the ebony waves; intoxicating himself on Jason’s scent.

“You’re even more breathtaking in person,” Kurtis exhaled. “And you smell incredible.”

Jason pulled away and looked into the man’s eyes. He nearly burst into tears at the reminiscent glint he saw that he’d loved so much in Matt. The brunette’s brain didn’t know how to process Kurtis having his husband’s traits but looking nothing like him. In fact, in a regular situation Jason knew that if Kurtis had passed him on the street, he would’ve walked by without a second thought, but his beloved husband dwelled inside the man and the brunette wanted to hang onto any possible piece of Matt that he could.

He gently placed his hand over Kurtis’ chest. His heartbeat pounded against the boy’s palm. “It’s like part of him is alive again,” he said barely audible.

“His heart never died,” the man assured.

Jason smiled softly. “Let’s get out of here.”

The pair made their way out of the airport and onto the curb as Jason hailed a cab. After the driver helped Kurtis put his luggage into the trunk, they climbed inside. The brunette gave the man his address before scooting back in the seat and looking at Kurtis.

“Did you tell Courtney that you were coming?”

“Yeah. She approved my trip of ‘getting to know my new history’,” he lied. In reality, Kurtis didn’t want Courtney to know that his organ donor was gay and that he had inherited interests in the community. So as far as his wife knew, his donor was a single man from somewhere in the U.S. who died alone.

“That’s so sweet. I’m glad that she isn’t weirded out by you practically turning into Matt,” the brunette chuckled.

“Well, a new heart meant new stamina so she’s happy,” Kurtis joked.

“Happy wife, happy life,” the boy giggled.

“Exactly!” He laughed.

“So…I smell familiar to you?” Jason asked in disbelief.

“Yes. You know how scents bring back memories? Your cologne takes me to a vague place but I can tell it was full of love.”

“That’s insane. You’re like a psychic or something.”

“Let me see your hand, I’ll tell you what I see.”

Jason continued to laugh as he placed his hand in the older man’s. Kurtis lightly traced the boy’s palm.

“That tickles.”

“Sssh, this is serious business,” he playfully chastised. “I see a lot of pain, but even more love to make up for it. You don’t easily let your walls down, but when you do, you never regret it because only special people get that privilege. Losing the love of your life broke you completely, but as you go on you’re slowly trying to put the pieces back together. There may be a few chips or cracks, but it doesn’t mean that you aren’t strong. In fact, it makes you stronger than ever. Things will get better.”

The brunette burst into tears.

“Oh no,” Kurtis said frantically. “Did I say something wrong? Jason, I’m really sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” he sniffled. “It’s just exactly what I feel and you said things will get better…Matt used to say that,” the boy got out before breaking down again. Kurtis wrapped his arms around Jason and rubbed his back until he was calm enough to speak again. “That was our thing and it’s just so crazy that you know that.”

The man shrugged. “It’s in his heart.”

Jason found himself comforted by the words and completely comfortable with Kurtis. He grabbed the man’s hand and interlocked their fingers. “Thank you for coming to visit.”

“There’s no place I’d rather be,” he said honestly with a smile.

As the butterflies filled the brunette’s stomach, he gently pulled his hand away. Although he felt some weird sense of entitlement to his husband’s heart, it belong to Kurtis now, and Kurtis was a married man. Within the next minute, the cab was pulling in front of Jason’s home he had shared with Matt. They unloaded the cab and entered the place.

“It feels very deja vu,” Kurtis exhaled as he set his bags to the side. The man walked around, taking in every detail before stopping in front of the painting that hung over the mantle. “Wow. He really was an incredible artist.”

“He was painting this the night of our first date and I practically ruined it with the red, but he said it was amazing,” Jason informed with a soft smile.

“It is amazing,” the man said as he continued around the house, gently touching the counters and various sculptures that the artist had created.

“Are you hungry?”

“Practically starving,” Kurtis chuckled.

“What would you like? Tilapia?” Jason teased.

The man wrinkled his nose. “You know damn well fish is the devil’s work.”

The brunette laughed.

“Chicken nuggets and beer sounds amazing, though.”

“I don’t have any beer or any alcohol. The hospital actually helped to sober me up all together.”

“That’s really good. You never really told me about that. Were you depressed after Matt passed away?”

“Very. I wanted to die right then and there. And I tried,” he said as he extended his neck, exposing the three inch diagonal scar.

Kurtis understood.

“But I’m better now and I call this scar my tattoo because I’m cool,” he chuckled.

“You are,” the man assured with a hint of lust in his eyes.

Jason blushed and returned to the kitchen. “Um, I have dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets, is that okay?”

“Yes! Do you have french fries?”

“No but I have tater tots.”

“Even better!” Kurtis chuckled. “I want all of the above.”

Happy to feel like he had someone to take care of again, the brunette walted towards the refrigerator. “Coming right up.”

After the meal was complete, Jason served his visitor and joined him at the table with his own leftover steak.

“Thank you, good Sir,” the man said with a crooked smile.

“You’re killing me.”

“What did I do now?”

 _Boundaries_ , Jason thought. “Nothing.”

“Nooo, tell me.”

“Your smile just now…reminded me of him. And that smile was always more than enough to get me into bed,” he reluctantly admitted.

“If it makes you uncomfortable, I’ll stop-”

“No! Um, I mean…no, it’s fine. You can’t change your own quirks, right?”

“I guess not…”

“Nope…”

The sexual tension in the air was so thick, that Kurtis wanted to rip both of their clothes off and do whatever Jason wanted him to, right on the dining room table. He stared down at the brunette’s soft pink lips, yearning to have his own against them. As the same thoughts ran through Jason’s mind, he quickly decided to change the subject.

“So, how are your kids?”

“They’re fine,” Kurtis exhaled before uncontrollably wrapping a hand around the boy’s neck, pulling him close until their lips finally met. They both turned to jelly as the butterflies assaulted their stomachs. Kurtis gently nibbled on the brunette’s bottom lip, causing him to gasp, the perfect opportunity for the man to slide his tongue into the boy’s mouth. They sloppily made out for a few more seconds before Jason had to pull away.

“Kurtis,” he sighed. “This isn’t right. You’re married.”

“But she’s not you.” His tone was pleading. “I’m so attracted to you that I can’t even have sex with her without thinking about you.”

His words caught Jason by surprise.

“I can’t deny what’s inside of me and I can’t help that I received the heart of a man married to someone as incredible as you. I belong to you now,” he sniffled. “I’m yours…I need you.”

The brunette wanted to do the right thing, but all he could hear was his husband’s voice as the man spoke. He couldn’t fight it anymore. Jason leaned in and this time, immediately drove his tongue into the man’s mouth. Kurtis moaned, stood and wrapped his arms around the boy, nearly knocking the table over in the process.

The man could feel himself get hard almost instantly but he kept his crotch as far away from the boy as possible, so that he wouldn’t freak him out. He didn’t want to use Jason to get off on his new sexual fantasies, for the brunette was just too special to him.

Jason on the other hand frantically tried to press their bodies together, trying to connect in any way possible; trying to become one with Matt again.

“Jason,” Kurtis sighed as he attempted to slow down. “Maybe we should stop…”

“Why?” The boy asked without missing a beat, continuing to kiss on him.

“I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

“I want you to,” Jason whispered.

At that, the man was finally able to let go of his inhibitions. He grabbed Jason’s ass, fondling his soft cheeks before lifting him up. The boy wrapped his legs around the older man’s waist and his arms around his neck, without breaking their kiss. He carried Jason to the couch and gently laid him on the cushions, straddling the boy.

Kurtis was enjoying every second of his first experience with a man as he explored the boy’s body; a lot firmer than Courtney’s, but he found each defined muscle under the the brunette’s shirt to be extremely sexy.

Jason blindly reached up and eagerly began loosening the man’s belt buckle. Once it was undone, Kurtis quickly kicked the bottoms off. Not sure of how far this would go, he tried to leave his boxers intact, but the younger boy quickly pulled them down, freeing his rock hard cock that was already leaking with precum. Since it was his first time, the man was a little insecure about his body and he didn’t know what the brunette’s standard’s were.

“It’s perfect,” Jason whispered as if he could hear the man’s thoughts. Kurtis sighed in relief before leaning down to kiss the boy again. The brunette accepted the kiss then gently pushed the man onto his back and without any hesitation, he took the yearning cock into his mouth.

“Shit!” Kurtis blurted, back arching at the sudden, intense pleasure.

Jason grabbed the man’s hips, keeping him steady as he expertly took the shaft into his mouth and past the threshold of his throat. He coughed as his gag reflex reacted, but he continued with the sole intent of bringing pleasure to Kurtis.

“Oh my God, Jason,” he whimpered. “I can’t last much longer. You’re so amazing.”

The boy began to work with new vigor, massaging the man’s balls with one hand, stroking the base of his cock with the other hand, all while he continued to engulf the shaft into his warm mouth.

“Fuck! I’m coming,” Kurtis moaned loudly right before he shot a massive load of cum into Jason’s mouth, which the boy sucked up even harder; swallowing every drop and leaving the man out of breath. “I’ve never come that fast or hard in my life,’ he panted.

Jason straddled the man’s hips with a smug grin. “Courtney doesn’t do it like that?”

“I don’t think anybody does it like that,” he said with a weak smile. The man pulled him down into a quick kiss before blushing.

“What?”

“I can’t believe that I’m finally here with you and that it took us all of an hour to hookup,” Kurtis chuckled. He grabbed the brunette’s hand and interlocked their fingers.

“It feels so natural,” Jason said as he lifted their hands, kissing the back of Kurtis’.

“So, I’m new at this. Tell me what I need to do to you.”

The brunette wiggled his ass against the man’s crotch. “You tell me,” the boy whispered suggestively.

Kurtis could feel the blood flow in his groin, hardening his cock once again. In the back of his mind, he felt guilty that he could barely keep it up for his wife, but Jason seemed to get him hard on command. He quickly pushed the thought out of his mind and pulled his young lover down into a kiss. While he was leaned over, Kurtis looped his fingers into the boy’s shorts and gently began to tug. Jason sat up and lifted himself on his knees to give Kurtis the proper angle to pull off his shorts and boxers in one swift movement.

“My God, you’re beautiful,” the man exhaled as he took in every detail of the brunette’s flawless porcelain body.

“Thank you,” Jason said with a light pink blush before groaning. “Ugh, I don’t have any fucking condoms.”

“I do,” Kurtis bashfully admitted.

The boy’s eyebrows shot up. “Were you expecting to get lucky?”

“Of course not. I was so nervous that I packed everything I could think of. Food, one hundred outfits, gifts for you.”

“Gifts?” He asked curiously.

“Go look in the small pocket of either suitcase. I’m hopelessly obsessed and everything in each is for you,” he said with a breathy laugh.

Jason pouted. “Aw, you didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to. Go pick something out.”

The brunette grinned excitedly as he pushed himself off of the man and over to the luggage. He picked the bag closest to him, immediately unzipping the small pouch. Jason pulled out the first item he saw, a small box and lifted the lid. “Oh my God,” he gasped. “Is this a Rolex?”

“Yeah.”

“This is insanely beautiful and insanely expensive! You have to take it back.”

“You hate it,” Kurtis accused.

“No, I love it! But aren't’ these things like…thousands of dollars?”

“I work hard to be able to buy things for the people I care about,” he said simply.

“You care about me?”

“Of course I do, dork.”

The brunette was filled with mixed feelings. “I have a confession to make.”

Kurtis sat up on the couch and glanced nervously across the room at the boy.

“When I read the letter you wrote, in some weird type of way, all I saw was an opportunity to be near Matt again. I don’t know how that organ memory stuff works, but you do and say things that only he would do and say and it feels like he’s here again. I’m using you to be near my husband.”

“I knew that,” the man admitted. “I honestly feel like Kurtis is dying a little everyday as Matt takes over.”

“So what does this all mean?”

“I want you to be mine.”

“What about your wife?”

“It’s over,” he sighed. “As soon as I get back to L.A., I’ll tell her.”

“And what about your kids?”

“They’ll be upset, but they’re just too young to understand what’s going on right now. But, they’ll always be taken care of.”

Jason tried to process everything that was happening, the angel and devil on each shoulder shouting at him. I’m not a homewrecker, he told himself. But Matt is. The boy stood and made his way back over to Kurtis, straddling him once again. “Well, this Rolex is stunning, babe. Thank you.”

The man’s heart skipped a beat at the new term of endearment. “I’m glad you like it, Pumpkin,” he beamed giddily.

The brunette’s face lit up and he leaned down to kiss his official lover. He quickly returned to the suitcase, retrieved a condom and lube before rushing back to straddle the man.

“Slip n Slide Good Time Lube,” Jason cackled. “Where the hell did you get this?

“At a sex shop,” was his bashful reply. “Is it no good? I learned all of this from porn.”

“It’s fine,” he giggled before squeezing some of the cool gel onto his fingers. The brunette made his way to the other end of the couch and spread his legs, giving Kurtis a perfect view for the show he was about to put on. He rubbed circles on his pink hole for a minute before gently sliding in a finger.

“Mmm,” Jason lightly moaned as he looked over at Kurtis.

“That’s fucking amazing,” he exhaled. “Can I try?”

The brunette bit his lip and nodded.

“Lay on your stomach,” he ordered in a lust filled voice . Jason quickly obliged. Kurtis made his way over to the boy, but before he could work his hole, the man placed his strong hands on the brunette’s back and began to rub. From his shoulders to the top of his ass and then his cheeks, the older man worshiped Jason’s body as he continued the sensual deep tissue massage.

“That feels so good,” Jason exhaled, melting into the relaxing touch.

Kurtis leaned down and kissed the boy’s smooth pale shoulder. “You’re so perfect.” He continued the massage for a few more minutes, making sure that there wasn’t an ounce of tension in the boy’s body before he gently turned him over.

The man grabbed the lube and spread a generous amount onto his fingers, moved down between the boy’s legs, kissing his inner thighs before placing his digits against his pink hole. When he gently pushed in, Jason hummed in pleasure. Assuming that he was doing something right, Kurtis was encouraged to pick up the pace.

“Yes, baby.”

He kissed Jason’s inner thigh and gently added a second finger. The boy’s hole quickly adjusted to the stretching. Kurtis curled his fingers upward, just like his research had told him to in attempt to locate the brunette’s prostate. When Jason moaned out and bucked his hips, he was sure he’d been successful but then he lost it.

“A little to the right,” the younger boy directed.

Kurtis obeyed, pressing his fingers against the bundle of nerves causing the brunette to throw his head back. “Fuck,” he gasped, rocking his hips in time to the man’s movements. After a few minutes of this, Jason was panting and ready for even more. He grabbed the condom before expertly ripping the foil packet with his teeth.  

“Sexy,” Kurtis exhaled as he looked down at him through lust filled eyes.

“Shut up,” he giggled. Jason reached down and began to slide the rubber down the man’s rock hard cock. After he covered the shaft in lube, the brunette grabbed his hips and pulled him close. “I missed this so much.”

Kurtis smiled and kissed him as he lined his cock up with the boy’s hole. He gently pushed the tip inside.

“Oh my God,” Jason gasped, desperately wrapping his arms around his lover’s body. “Please, just fuck me, Kurtis.”

The man let out a feeble groan at the tightness of the boy’s ass as he slid the rest of his length into him. He grabbed Jason’s small waist, using it as a counterweight as he began to thrust in and out.

“Harder,” the brunette pleaded almost instantly.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” Kurtis moaned, slamming into at a rougher tempo as directed. He eventually found the boy’s prostate with his cock and when Jason moaned out, he began to relentlessly pound against the bundle of nerves.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Jason whimpered as his arms became a vise grip around the man’s body. Kurtis buried his face into the crook of his lover’s neck. The additional sensation of the tickle of the man’s pants against his sensitive skin was enough to make the brunette’s moans incoherent.

“I’m gonna come,” Kurtis whispered into the boy’s ebony waves.

“Me too,” he moaned. “Please don’t stop.”

With a few more hard thrusts, the brunette’s lip curled as he became lost in the intense pleasure. “Matt,” he whimpered barely audible, but it spoke volumes to Kurtis. But didn’t deter him from coming seconds later.

After a few minutes of allowing their breathing to steady, they shared a kiss before Kurtis pulled out and they cleaned themselves up. The pair returned their boxers for decency before they sat on the couch, Kurtis pulling the younger boy into a cuddle.

“That was amazing,” Jason said as he grabbed the man’s hand.

“After the blowjob I said it was the hardest I’d ever come in my life, but that was mind blowing,” he admitted before sighing. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Would you like to call me Matt?”

Jason pulled away as he turned to look at the man. “No,” he replied curtly. The boy was nearly offended. “Why would you ask me something like that?”

“It’s just that you said his name during the sex and I know you explained the situation to me already…it just made me feel a little weird. But I’m willing to give you the full fantasy if you want. I’m willing to do anything you want.”

“As complicated as things already are, we need to just keep this as simple as possible. You are not Matt, and no one will ever be, but I accept what we have. I didn’t even notice that I said his name. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Kurtis smiled and kissed the brunette’s hair. Jason turned on the TV and they watched _Clueless_ until dozing off.

———–

Later that day, Dax came over as he frequently did to check on his friend and he finally got to meet the infamous Kurtis that the brunette had been so giddy about since he’d received the letter. Dax’s first impression was less than accepting and when the man went to shower, Jason knew that he’d hear an earful from his friend.

“Alright, I saw that face. What don’t you like about him?” The brunette asked as he sliced the tomatoes for dinner.

Dax leaned back in his stool on the other side of the counter. “Um, I don’t like the fact that you’re dating a married man, Jason,” he said as if it was obvious.

“Are we dating?” The boy asked incredulously with a sly smirk.

“Don’t take that tone with me,” his friend scowled.

“Dax, would you chill?” Jason laughed. “It’s not that serious, besides, he told me he’s divorcing her.”

“And you believe that?”

“Of course I do. He can’t even get hard for her without thinking about me.”

“The only reason you’re fooling around with this guy is because of Matt. You don’t care about him.”

“That’s not true. I care about him a lot. And I’m deciding to look at it as if I just happened to have found a guy who has a similar personality to the love of my life… it’s less painful that way.”

“Jason,” Dax sighed, tone one the brunette recognized.

“Dax,” he pleaded. “Why can’t you see how happy I am? I want your support on this.”

The boy’s friend placed a hand under his chin as he leaned against the counter. “You are happy, aren’t you?”

Jason nodded with a soft smile.

Dax sighed in exasperation. “I support you…”

“Thank you!” he beamed, jumping into his lap and throwing his arms around his friend’s neck.

“You’re welcome, big butt,” he chuckled. “Only for your happiness.”

Jason grinned. “Did you see what he bought me?” He asked as he flashed his wrist.

“So, you’re a sugar baby now?”

“Not even,” he said before pushing himself out of the boy’s lap. “But he is older.”

“With kids. You ready to be a stepdad?”

“It’s not like we’re getting married tomorrow, but yes. I think I’d be a great stepdad.”

“Just be careful.”

“I will, mom.” Jason didn’t understand why the usually spontaneous boy was so serious about the situation with his…lover? Boyfriend? Postmortem husband? Jason wasn’t sure what they should be labeled as, or if they should be labeled at all, he didn’t care. For the first time in nearly four months, he was happy.

Kurtis emerged from Jason’s bedroom with wet hair and a crooked smile. “What’s up?”

“Hey, babe,” the brunette grinned before kissing him.

“You guys are cute,” said Dax in another tone Jason recognized.

“But?”

“When are you going to get a divorce?” he asked Kurtis.

“Wow, that’s direct,” the man laughed nervously.

“Well, when people’s lives have the potential to be fucked over, being direct is always the best option.”

“Dax,” Jason warned.

“No, it’s understandable,” Kurtis intervened. “I don’t want to fuck anybody over. And to prevent that from happening, as soon as I get home, I’m going to talk to her.”

“Do you plan on marrying Jason?”

“Oh my God,” the brunette groaned as he rolled his eyes. “Can we just eat without you making everyone uncomfortable? We already talked about this.”

“Then It’s a good thing that I’m talking to Kurtis and not you,” his friend retorted.

“You said you’d just be happy for me,” Jason sniffled.

“Jason,” Dax said remorsefully.

“Babe, please don’t cry,” the man cooed as he wrapped his arms around the brunette.

“Kurtis, can I talk to Jason alone for a second?”

Kurtis looked down at his lover and when the boy nodded that it was okay, he entered the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

“Jason, I’m sorry I upset you. You know I never want that to happen, but I can’t help being protective of you. When you were with your ex, I saw you at your lowest and you were terrified everyday and I refuse to let that happen again. He doesn’t seem like the type, but if you won’t be cautious, I will.”

“And I appreciate that Dax. I really do.”

“I love you, and I’m glad you’re so happy,” Dax said as he pushed himself off of the stool and over to his friend. He wrapped his arms around him and gave him a firm squeeze. “I swear you’re even happier with him than you were with Matt,” he chuckled but instantly regretted it when his friend covered his face with his hands and began to bawl. “I’m so sorry, Jason. Was that insensitive?”

“No,” he assured as he wiped his eyes. The brunette sat on the barstool and sighed. “I haven’t told anyone this, but my last conversation with Matt was an argument. I was just so mad at him for being so irresponsible and I told him to grow up. In retrospect, I regret it so much because I knew how he was when I married him but-” he sniffled as he tried to keep new tears at bay.

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting your spouse to be responsible, J. What happened to him was just so unfortunate, but you couldn’t have anticipated that.”

“I should have anticipated that life is short. And if I would’ve known that I was going to only have four years with him, I would’ve spent every second telling him how much I loved him. And with Kurtis, I feel like I’ve been given a second chance.”

Dax gave his friend’s hand a firm squeeze. “I understand.”

Jason dried his eyes for the final time before the friends shared a hug.

“Can I finish cooking my fucking fettuccine now?” he joked with an exaggerated pout.

His friend laughed. “Yes, make your fucking fettuccine so you can feed me.”

“You can fry the capers and Kurtis can shred the parmesan.”

“Sounds good,” Dax said as he opened the pantry.

“Kurtis,” Jason called in a sing-song voice.

The man emerged from the bedroom and kissed his lover’s ebony waves. “Everything okay?”

The brunette nodded.

“Kurtis, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for being so brash,” Dax offered. “Jason is like a brother to me and I’m very protective of my family.”

“It’s okay,” the man assured. “I actually appreciate that. This one deserves to be protected at all costs,” he said as he lifted Jason’s chin, examining the boy’s face. “You’re so beautiful.” Kurtis stole a kiss before Jason placed the block of cheese and shredder in his hands.

“Nice try,” he giggled. “Get to work.”

Kurtis sighed. “Can we at least put on Spongebob while we labor?”

“Sure, dork.”

When the man skipped into the living room, the friends shared a look and suppressed their laughter. Kurtis turned on the cartoon and returned to the kitchen where he mimicked the sound effect of a lightsaber each time he slid the cheese down the grater.

The trio laughed and made jokes as they finished preparing the meal. They ate at the table and to Dax’s chagrin, the couple shared a _Lady and the Tramp_ spaghetti moment, but he had to admit that they were cute. After dinner Dax helped them to clean before leaving for home.

They spent the rest of the evening watching TV and making passionate love, with Kurtis learning a new trick each time, bringing them both monumental climaxes until they were so spent that they collapsed and slept for nearly fourteen hours. That was day one. For the rest of Kurtis’ three day trip they repeated the events, leaving no room in the house unchristened. When they weren’t having sex, they were shopping or Jason was showing the man his favorite locations in Brooklyn with most of them already seeming familiar to him.

Kurtis could see himself living in the city with his lover, and that’s what he planned on doing. After his divorce, he assured the boy that he’d look into moving his law firm to New York and settling down with him. Jason was over the moon at all the perspective dreams, which is why he cried like a baby at the airport when the man had go back to Los Angeles. Kurtis swore that he’d return soon, or he’d even pay for Jason to visit him, but he reminded him that he had urgent business to attend to and the sooner he broke the news to his wife, the sooner they could be happy and worry-free together.

“I’ll call you as soon as I land,” Kurtis promised. “I love you.”

Jason looked up into the man’s eyes, the gleam more prominent than ever. “I love you too,” he replied almost instantly. They shared a tender kiss before the man left to board his plane.

————

After talking to Jason, Kurtis made his way out of the airport and immediately spotted Courtney waiting for him in the pick up area. He sighed internally and made his way over to the giddy woman.

“Hey, baby!” she beamed as she threw her arms around him. The woman grabbed his face and kissed his tense lips before apologizing for the lipstick and fixing his hair. “How was the trip? How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay…there are some things that I want to talk to you about.”

Courtney nodded. “There are things I want to talk to you about too. But we have to go home first. The kids are at your sister’s house and she says that they’re getting antsy. They missed you…we all missed you,” she said with a soft smile.

“And I missed you guys. Can we go home now?”

“Of course, honey. I know you must be exhausted.”

She grabbed his hand and interlocked their fingers before leading him to their car. The ride home was filled with Courtney bragging about how well the children had done in school that week and what a beautiful family they had created while her husband stared out of the window, contemplating how on earth he’d break the news to her.

As soon as they arrived home, Kurtis grabbed his things from the car, leaving them in the foyer before he dragged himself to their room and flopped stomach first onto their bed followed by Courtney a few seconds later. She began to rub her hands across her husband’s tense back. The man let the massage last a minute until he finally sat up.

“Can we talk now?”

“Yes! Do you want to go first or should I?” she asked.

“You,” Kurtis sighed.

“Okay.” The woman let out a deep exhale. “For the past week or so, I haven’t been feeling too well. I blamed it on the stress of you being sick and us fighting, but I finally went to the doctor.”

The man’s eyebrows furrowed. “Are you okay?”

Courtney’s eyes began to glisten as the fresh tears flooded them. “I’m more than okay…we’re nine weeks pregnant,” she beamed. The woman stood and lifted her loose t-shirt, revealing her small, yet obvious baby bump.

Kurtis wanted to bury his face into his hands and curse humanity, but he kept his composure and smiled. “That’s incredible news, honey.”

“I thought so too,” she giggled. “I never wanted more than three children, but this is our little miracle.” Courtney grabbed her husband’s hand and placed it over her stomach. “What gender do you want it to be?”

“Let it be a surprise.”

“Oh, Kurtis, the suspense is gonna kill me! But I love that idea. I saw this nursery in this magazine yesterday and it was black and white with pops of yellow, very sophisticated and gender neutral.”

“Whatever you want, Courtney.”

The woman smiled and stole a kiss from him before sitting by his side. “What did you want to tell me?”

“Nothing,” he lied swiftly. “Well, I just missed you and the kids so much.”

“Aw, baby, we missed you! The children don’t know I’m pregnant. How do you think we should tell them?”

“Just be straightforward…honest…no more secrets…”

“Come on, Kurtis, they’re kids. We have to make it more exciting! How about we throw an announcement party?”

“Whatever you want, Courtney.”

“Kurtis, you have to be more involved. Unless…you’re not as excited as I am…”

“Of course I’m excited.”

“But?”

“The timing is just bad,” he lied pathetically.

“How so?”

“I have this case, I’ve been working so late. What if I don’t have time to make appointments…and my health still isn’t pristine…”

“We had Hudson when you were in the middle of studying for the Bar exam. Remember how stressful that was? I think we can handle this.”

Kurtis nodded. “You’re right. I really am excited, Court. I love all my children and this one will be an amazing addition.”

His wife’s face lit up. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Courtney kissed him one last time then pushed herself off of the bed. “If I don’t get a bagel right now, baby will not be happy,” she giggled before leaving the room.

“Fuck,” Kurtis groaned as he fell backwards onto the bed.

—————–

Later that day, Kurtis called his boyfriend.

“Hi, baby!” the brunette beamed when he answered. “How are you?”

“Hey…I’m okay,” he replied in a somber tone. “You?”

“I’m good. Just left the market. What’s wrong? You sound out of it…did you tell her?”

“No…”

“No?”

“I couldn’t…she’s sick.”

“Oh no, what’s wrong with her?”

“She has the flu. It’s really bad.”

“Poor thing. I hope she gets better soon.”

“Yeah, the second she does, I’ll tell her.”

“Okay, baby. No rush though. These things are hard enough as is.”

“Thank you for being so understanding.”

“Of course. What are you doing for the rest of the day?”

“I’m a little jet lagged so I’ll probably nap, dream about you then wake up and talk to you while I daydream about you…naked.”

“Sounds amazing,” he giggled. “I’ll probably do the same. I miss you already.”

“I miss y-”

“Kurtis, how about a circus themed party?” His wife asked loudly from the hallway as she made her way to their room.

“I’ll call you back, babe. Um, Courtney just threw up.” The man hung up before Jason could reply, just as the woman entered.

“I was thinking circus because this is baby number four and our household is going to become more chaotic, but in a good way. Like a circus,” she grinned. “Oh, no babe. I want a carnival party because we can have all the booths with the different games and prizes and foods!”

“I love that,” Kurtis admitted.

“Yay! I want this all done by this weekend.”

“That’s a time crunch but whatever you want, I will make it happen.”

Courtney climbed into her husband’s lap, wrapping her arms around his neck for support while he lovingly kissed her belly. The woman couldn’t be any happier. Her husband was healthy and she’d always wanted a large family, so the new addition was more than welcome. She felt like her life was perfect.

And things continued to be great. At the party, she wore a plaid button down before revealing her t-shirt that said _This is our last one. (We’re serious this time!)_ Earning them a massive outpour of love and support from their family and friends. Kurtis allowed himself to be distracted by cake and games because he had no idea how he was going to clean up the mess he’d created for himself. He didn’t want to hurt the people he loved, so he decided to keep the truth at bay for as long as possible; balancing a wife and a mister.

A month after Courtney’s announcement, Kurtis had created a complex schedule that allowed him to successfully lead his two separate lives. He woke up at three in the morning in order to be up at six in Jason’s timezone to talk to him for an hour before work. Afterwards, he’d go back to bed for two hours before he got up to get the children ready for school and to do whatever he needed to keep Courtney happy, which was usually sex. _Due to hormones, a woman’s sexual appetite is kicked into overdrive during pregnancy_ , she’d remind him and he always obliged. Lucky for Kurtis, since all her female parts were extra sensitive, Courtney would only last two minutes; about as long as he could keep it hard for her.

He then left for work, where he actually focused on his case until his lunch break, which he spent on the phone with Jason and after work, he’d stay in his car for about an hour, Facetiming his boyfriend, resulting in amazing cybersex and several _I love yous_ generally before the mailman would deliver the gifts Kurtis had sent the boy. Clothing, jewelry and cute little tchotchkes.

Jason loved being spoiled, but what he wanted more than anything was for his man to move to Brooklyn like he told him he would.

Kurtis continued to confirm this promise until he left for home. Courtney would usually be done with dinner by then, which he enjoyed with his family before the children were put to bed. The couple usually spent the evenings, cuddling and discussing their days and baby names. Some nights were finished off by sex, others were completed by them sharing ice cream and watching any chick flick that came to mind and to Courtney’s surprise her husband seemed to enjoy them.

After his wife would fall asleep and if Jason was awake, he’d call the boy and spend a healthy amount of time telling him how perfect he was and how he absolutely would visit again as soon as work calmed down and no, he hadn’t talked to Courtney yet because ‘she was still sick and would probably have to be hospitalized’. But Kurtis assured the brunette that everything would be fine and ‘no, you aren’t my side bitch. You’re the one I love.’ Jason would eventually cave in and say that he loved him too before they bidded each other goodnight until the ordeal was repeated the very next day.

———-

Jason irritably tapped his foot against the restaurant’s table as he flooded his friend with questions and frustration fueled accusations.

“Do you think he’s just leading me on, Dax? It’s been over a month and I’m still getting the same fucking story. He’s full of shit and for all I know, he’s still fucking his wife and probably other guys.”

“J, I’m sure that’s not true. Maybe his wife really is sick or maybe he’s just scared to tell her because of the children.”

“Whatever the case, I just know something isn’t right. Maybe I should just fly out there and find out for myself.”

“Oh my God,” his friend laughed. “I’m so down for popping up on that ass, but it does make you look kind of crazy cucu cunt don’t ya think?”

“Not at all because if I’m wasting my time with someone who really doesn’t care about me, I’d want to know. And if popping up on that ass is necessary, then so be it.”

“So when do you want to go?”

“Tomorrow. We can make it a weekend vacation.”

“Spontaneity looks good on you,” Dax chuckled. “Plus, I need a break from kids sneezing in my face.”

“Being a pediatrician is a great job, Dax.” Jason smiled and shook his head. ”I should probably get back to work.”

“Me too. Thanks for making my lunch break entertaining.”

——–

After the brunette eagerly purchased his California plane ticket, he was just finishing up his work day when Naomi approached his desk.

“Jason, do you have any spare room in your safe box? I have too much stuff I’m hiding from my boyfriend in mine and it’s totally full.”

“Yeah, sure. I just have a paper that…” Jason immediately pushed himself away from his desk and over to the vault, opened it and he hesitantly pulled out the page. “It’s all yours,” he told Naomi before returning to his cubicle.

After having the paper collect dust in the vault for months, Jason read the title for the first time. His eyebrows furrowed. “Confirmation for final mortgage payment,” he read again, utterly confused. Matt could barely afford the mortgage at the home they shared, let alone some secret home he’d never heard of. The page had no address or information of the alleged home, so the papers left the brunette with more questions than answers and to get some of the confusion cleared up, he knew where he had to start.

As soon as he left work, Jason made his way to the RuGala Art Studio.

When he entered the building, the brunette spotted Mr. Charles seated at his desk. The man looked up, his smile was bittersweet. “Hey Mr. Lent,” he sighed as he stood. “How are you?”

“I’m okay. How are you?” the boy asked as they shared a friendly hug.

“Exhausted. Things haven’t been the same around here since Matt passed away. How are you holding up?”

Jason couldn’t tell him that Matt’s new heart had practically possessed another man’s body and that he’d fallen in love with him, so he left it at, “I’m surviving.”

“It’s all we can do. Anything I can help you with?”

“Yeah, I actually have questions about the amount of money Matt made here. Are there any receipts or books that I could look at?”

Mr. Charles nodded and led Jason to the back room where inventory was kept. The man pulled a stack of binders off of a shelf and plopped them on a nearby table, sending dust into the air. “All of these,” he coughed, “are Matt’s.”

“Wow,” the brunette exhaled.

The man opened the top book. “Receipts, a picture of the actual art that was sold and any general information here,” he said as he guided his finger along the page. “Here is where it shows what he made that month. And in the very back, is a chart of his revenue that year. Feel free to look, and if you want a copy of anything, let me know.”

“Thank you so much.”

“No problem,” Mr. Charles said before exiting the room and returning to his desk.

Jason flipped through the first book, the most recent and last book, to the monthly revenue page and his mouth dropped.

 _He made nearly twelve thousand dollars that last month_ , the boy gasped internally. _Matt barely brought in eight hundred for the damn bills_ , Jason fumed as he flipped backwards to the month before that. _$13,568.50. I don’t think I even saw the fifty cents of that. What the fuck, Matt?!_

“Um, Mr. Charles?” he called.

Jason heard the man push himself away from the desk. “Yes?” he replied when he entered the room.

“Um, this record says that Matt made thirteen thousand dollars _in a month_. I was wondering if that was a typo…mistakenly adding ten grand…”

The man laughed, but stopped when he saw Jason’s expression. He couldn’t imagine what the widow was going through, so he wanted to help as much as he could. "It’s not a typo.”

“So, you mean to tell me that my husband made,” he flipped to the last filled in page of the book, “$167,244 this year alone before he died?” The brunette asked, voice growing louder with each word.

“Yes,” he said as if it was obvious. “You didn’t know that?”

“No!” Jason fumed, growing hysterical as he processed the information. “Did he say anything about what he ever did with this money?”

“I didn’t want him asking about my money, so I never asked about his.”

The boy rubbed his hands over his hair, smoothing any unruly strands before he spoke again. “I’m just a little upset because I practically paid all of the bills, which I didn’t mind, of course I’ll support my family, but I wanted stability from Matt. I was so hard on him for not bringing in enough money and he’d always say that he’d talk to the promoters about it, but he never did. Hell, he never had to with the amount of money he was making.”

The man’s eyebrows became furrowed in confusion. “Promoters?”

“Yes, or however this art thing works.”

Mr. Charles stared out into space as memories of his old friend flooded his mind. He sighed and spoke again.

“When I met Matt, about seven years ago, he was this punk kid painting in central park and trying to sell his work there. I told him he was talented, but he’d never make money that way, the streets are cold. ‘So you wanna be my pimp?’ Matt asked me. At first I thought he was serious, so I told him, pretty much.”

Jason smiled and shook his head, it was definitely a Matthew joke.

“I had my little gallery here, and we agreed that I would earn six percent of every painting he sold for letting him use this prime downtown location. Matt was so charismatic and people just fell in love with him. They’d flood the place just to see him and buy his work, which is why he was so smitten with you the night you came in and knocked him off of his high horse. I remember him coming up to me, with that goofy grin and saying ‘I just met the hottest guy ever, and he hates my work.’ I asked him if that was a good thing, he said that no matter how long it took, he’d eventually make a piece that you’d fall in love with, if not, he’d settle for you falling for him instead.”

Jason’s heart began to ache. “I never heard that story before,” he exhaled.

“Yeah, Matt was fascinated that someone could actually come in here and not ‘live’ for him,” he laughed. “But everyone else did and business began to boom. I was grateful for his part in helping things become successful and when new artists came in, I contracted so that he could make three percent off of each of them. We basically started a small art empire and everything was great…until we lost him.”

Jason was speechless. As far as he knew, his husband had been a starving artist throughout their entire marriage. The boy suddenly remembered his last conversation with Matt. He’d had a feeling that the boy was up to something, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

_“I’m making us chicken nuggets,” the boy beamed. “You know how I love eating them with a side of beer, it’s like heaven.”_

_“I don’t think I know anything about you,” Jason retorted, barely above a whisper._

_“Sure you do! You know my allergies, my favorite holidays, my favorite-”_

_“How was the art studio today?”_

_The boy froze. “Um, it was okay. I didn’t stay long before I spent the day with friends.”_

_“What friends?”_

_Matt’s eyes were shifty as he nervously replied. “You don’t know them.”_

_“Does Jake?”_

_“No.”_

_“Are you cheating on me?” Jason asked in a trembling voice._

_Matt quickly turned to face his husband. “I can’t believe you just asked me that,” he exhaled, the pain of the question evident in his face. “I love you more than life itself.”_

To keep the tears at bay, Jason gently shook his head. Mr. Charles could practically hear the wheels in the boy’s mind turning and there was a minute of tense silence before he spoke again.

“Thank you so much, Mr. Charles,” he sighed. “This has been very informative. I have no idea what to make of the information but I needed it.”

“I wish I could help more, but we never talked about these things. All I know is that Matt was a great guy and I miss him everyday.”

“Me too,” the brunette exhaled.

They shared a hug before Jason dragged himself out of the studio and towards the curb just as his phone began to ring.  Since he knew it was Kurtis, he reluctantly answered.

“Hello?”

Kurtis instantly detected something in the boy’s tone. “Hey, babe. What’s wrong?”

“Did you tell her?”

“No, Jason, she’s still si-”

The brunette hung up and returned his phone to his pocket before hailing a cab. _You wouldn’t think a guy could manage to fall for two liars in one lifetime_ , he groaned internally as he climbed into the taxi. Jason had hit his breaking point and now, he wanted answers. He needed to know what Matt had done the last day of his life and the second stop in his search would have to be the home of his late husband’s best friend.

Ignoring calls from Kurtis, Jason gave the cab driver Jake’s address and he was on his way to stop two of his scavenger hunt.

———-

Since Matt’s death, Jake didn’t come into Jason’s bank asking for a loan, but instead dropping by to see how he was doing or to offer him donuts. The brunette took the short flight of stairs to the door of Jake’s condo and before he could knock, he paused at the commotion he heard from inside.

_Smack!_

“What’s my name?!” he heard a female voice demand.

“The Lady Dom,” Jake replied in a muffled voice.

_Smack!_

“Louder!”

“The Lady Dom!”

“That’s better, you filthy pig. Now lick my shoe or this paddle will be across your ass so many times that you won’t be able to sit for a week.”

Jason was horrified and he didn’t know whether to run or pray. He thought about returning at a later time, but his and Jake’s schedules were so conflicting, now was the time to get the answers he needed. The brunette hesitated again, contemplating calling the boy over the phone, but he wanted Jake’s take on the paperwork his husband had left behind.

The boy swallowed hard and gave the door a firm knock.

“Fuck,” he heard Jake mumble, barely coherent. “Take this thing off of my face.”

“You don’t give orders to me!”

_Smack!_

“Woman, if that’s one of the guys from the department, I’ll never hear the end of this. Get this shit off of me _now._ And find the handcuff key.”

Jason suppressed a giggle as he heard the frantic movement about the place. For his own entertainment, he knocked again.

“Coming!” Jake assured. “Unbuckle this fucking harness.”

“You’ve earned yourself at least a thousand lashes,” the female said in an annoyed tone.

“I look forward to it, babe. But right now, shut up and go hide in the bedroom.”

“Two thousand,” she replied, barely audible as she walked further into the place.

He heard one last clamor before Jake opened the door. Dressed in a t shirt and boxers and covered in a light sheen of sweat, the boy was clearly surprised to see Jason.

“Hey, Jason,” he panted. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry, am I interrupting anything?”

“No. Not at all. I just got done working out though. What’s up?”

Jason laughed internally but then remembered the matter at hand. “I have questions about Matt.”

A somber expression quickly spread across the boy’s face. “Sure, come on in.”

Jason entered the apartment followed by Jake who gestured for him to sit on the couch. The boy quickly tucked the latex mask he’d missed in between the cushions and turned to the brunette who didn’t notice as he pulled the paper from his briefcase.

“On that last night after work, we’d gotten into a fight and he said he was going to hang out with you. Is that true?”

Jake frowned. “No. And now you yelling at me in the hospital makes sense. But no, he wasn’t with me,” he sniffled. “I wish he was.”

“I was under the impression that you guys went out about three times a week,” as he spoke, the more Jake shook his head and the more the brunette’s heart ached.

“We only went out once a week.”

“So if he wasn’t with you, or me…do you think he was cheating?”

“No way,” was the boy’s instant response. “If nothing in this world is real, Matt’s love for you was. Whenever he was with me, you were the topic of fifty percent of his conversations. When he got drunk he would pull out your picture and tell strangers how amazing you were.”

Jason’s lip began to quiver. He knew Matt loved him, but he just couldn’t comprehend this secret life he’d led. The brunette handed Jake the paper. “What do you make of this?”

“You guys paid off your mortgage?”

“Not even close.”

“Sooo…this is a confirmation of a final payment on a house you know nothing about?”

“Yes,” he said in exasperation. “I knew something was up and when I demanded that he tell me, he just said not yet.”

“That’s weird.”

“Do you think he has a secret family at this house?”

“No,” Jake said quickly but then paused. “I honestly have no idea.”

With thoughts of Kurtis’ double life being a prime example of how easily these things can happen, Jason buried his face into his hands and began to bawl.

Jake gave the boy’s back a gentle pat. “Please don’t cry, dude. We don’t know anything for sure.”

“Matt was making over twelve grand every month,” he choked out. “Did you know that?”

“No,” he said in disbelief. “I knew he was doing well, but jeez.”

“I don’t even know where to go from here,” the brunette sniffled, attempting to compose himself.

“Um, okay,” Jake said as he thought. “What about the cab driver?”

“What cab driver?”

“The one that called 911. He claimed to have known Matt for years.”

“The one I’ve never heard of…” he sighed. “There are hundreds of cab drivers in this city, how am I going to find one?”

“I can check the police report. It’s standard procedure to get everyone at the scenes information.”

“Thank you.”

“Sure thing, dude.”

Jason reached over and hugged the boy, catching glimpse of the massive bottle of lube conspicuously shoved amongst the books on the shelf in the corner. He suppressed his laughter and pulled away.

“When do you think you’ll be able to get the guy’s information?”

“First thing in the morning,” Jake assured.

Jason nodded. “What are you doing for the rest of the night?”

Jake shifted in his seat. “Probably gonna play Skyrim and order a pizza or something.”

“Sounds fun. Mind if I join?”

“On second thought, I think I have some paperwork I need to file,” he sighed dramatically. “It’ll probably take all night.”

“Oh, that’s too bad. I guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow then,” Jason said as he pushed himself off of the couch.

“For sure,” he replied eagerly as he stood to let the boy out.

“Have fun,” the brunette said ominously before leaving.

Jake’s eyebrows furrowed for only a second before he shrugged it off and closed the door. “I’m ready for my punishment, Mistress!”

————–

The first thing the next morning, a raspy Jake called Jason with the taxi driver’s information.

“David Petruschin,” he mumbled as he scrawled out the man’s number. “Thank you so much, Jake.”

“You owe me a loan approval,” he joked.

“Four years later and you’re still waiting,” Jason teased. “Later,” the brunette said before hanging up. He quickly dialed the cab driver’s number.

“Thank you for calling Petruschin’s taxi service, Need to go to court? We transport. Need to get somewhere in secret, we’ll be sure to keep it. How may I help you?”

“Is this forreal?” Jason asked.

“Absolutely. Do you need a ride?”

“Um, no. I need to talk to David.”

“Look, if you’re that guy that claims to have left his mold of Beyonce’s foot in my car on the way from the fetish convention, I already told you we haven’t found it yet.”

“I’m not the foot guy…”

“Oh, thank God,” he sighed in relief. “This is David.”

“Hey, David. My name is Jason Lent and I was married to Matt Lent.”

There was a long pause. “I’m really sorry for your loss.” Jason could hear the sadness in his voice.

“I’m sorry for yours as well. How did you know my husband?”

“For the past three years, I was his transportation up to Skaneateles.”

“Skaneateles?” Jason gasped. “That’s over four hours away from Brooklyn. Why would he take a cab?”

“Beats me. But we had a road trip up there about twice a week and he paid each time including a generous tip. I was practically his chauffeur, but he was one of the nicest people I’ve ever known.”

“Where did you take him?”

“He had a house up there.”

 _So far away,_ he thought. _A good distance for a secret._ “Who lives at this house?”

“Look, I can’t tell you anything else over the phone. He told me that you’d eventually want answers, and the only way to get them is to visit the place yourself.”

“When are you available?”

“I’m always available.”

“Okay, I’m going out of town for the weekend in a few hours, do you think you could take me when I return?”

“Are you sure that you’re ready?”

Jason swallowed hard. What the hell was that supposed to mean? But he had no choice but to be ready. “Yes.”

———-

“Thank you for coming to L.A. with me, Dax,” Jason said gratefully as they tossed their stuff on the  generic hotel beds.

“Oh hush, you know I always have your back. So what’s the plan?”

“I’ll call him and find out where he his and then-”

“Let the stalking commence,” Dax chuckled.

“It’s not stalking, it’s investigating.”

“Ooo, I like that! Anything to make yourself seem less crazy.”

“You know what?” Jason laughed as he tackled his friend to the bed. They rough housed for a few seconds before the brunette’s phone began to ring. “It’s him!” the boy announced before answering. “Hello?”

“Hey,” Kurtis said with relief in his voice. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, Kurtis.” he replied nonchalantly. “How are you?”

“I’m okay…are you mad at me?”

“I was.”

“I’m sorry, babe. I’m really trying to tell her, but kicking someone when they’re down is just evil.”

“I understand. What are you doing today?”

“Going shopping so I can buy you something nice. I need to be in your good graces again,” he chuckled.

“You buy me enough stuff. I want to see you.”

“I’ll be back in Brooklyn soon.”

“You’ve been saying that for a month now.”

“Well, with Courtney being sick, I’m doing double duty with the kids and whatnot.”

“Mr. Mom. I love that.”

“I love you.”

“Mhm. What else are you doing today?”

“I’m actually about to go to this cupcake shop in a minute.”

“Oh, yeah?” he asked as he eagerly shoved Dax. “What’s it called?”

“Sprinkles Cupcakes. They’re amazing.”

“I bet it is. I could go for a chocolate on chocolate right about now.”

“Sounds sexual,” he laughed. “I’m about to get into traffic now, call you later?”

“Sure, babe. Love you.”

“Love you too,” he rushed before hanging up.

“Mapquest Sprinkles Cupcakes now!”

———-

Courtney knew exactly which cupcake she wanted while Kurtis moseyed over the menu before settling on a cookies and cream frosted beauty. They paid for their order of a dozen and the man grabbed his wife’s hand to keep her steady as she wobbled towards the exit.

As Kurtis reached for the door, it was opened from the outside. He looked up to make sure that there was enough room for he and Courtney to pass the stranger, but he froze instead, expression mortified.

“Kurtis?” Jason asked, feigning a distant familiarity with the man. “Wow, it’s been so long, I hardly recognized you.” The boy could’ve easily won an Oscar for his effortless acting, leaving his boyfriend speechless and his best friend on edge over what he’d say next.

“Jason,” the man began, barely audible. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were in L.A.? We could’ve caught up…”

“We have _nothing_ to catch up on,” he said in a tone that made Kurtis wince.

There was an awkward silence as Courtney waited to be introduced to the stranger by her husband, and when he didn’t, she spoke. “Hi,” she beamed. “I’m Courtney.”

Jason turned to look at her. He had been so caught up in staring the man down, that he didn’t notice how her fitted sundress clung to her pregnant belly; until now. His voice became caught in his throat and he too was speechless. He didn’t know if he wanted to scream or cry or both, but what did he expect? The man was married.

“Um, hi,” he finally replied. “You must be the wife.” Of course the brunette had seen the woman before, but the pictures didn’t do her justice. “You’re even more beautiful and… healthy… in person.”

“Aw, thank you so much. That’s very sweet of you! You and Kurtis obviously know each other?”

“Yeah, we go _way_ back. But the last time we spoke, he didn’t mention any new children…”

“He’s just so forgetful,” she giggled.

“A lot of things seem to slip his mind,” the brunette said curtly as he intently stared at the man who didn’t dare look up from the floor. “And don’t rely on any promise that he makes, you’re bound to be disappointed.”

Courtney frowned. “No, he’s an amazing husband,” she defended. “And yes, this is baby number four and we’re very excited.”

“Are you _excited_ , Kurtis?” Jason asked.

“Of course,” he replied, barely audible.

“Great,” the brunette said sharply. “I think I deserve that fucking chocolate on chocolate cupcake right about now. Nice to meet you, Courtney,” he said before pushing past them.

“Congrats on the pregnancy,” Dax told the woman before disregarding Kurtis’ existence and following his friend.

“Thank you…that was so weird.”

“Let’s just get out of here,” Kurtis advised as he held the door open for her. And without so much as even a glance back, he was gone.

Jason sunk into one of the bright pink chairs that adorned the place and immediately began to sob. Dax pulled a chair next to the brunette and wrapped his arms around his friend.

“He’s not even worth crying over, J.”

“I just got my hopes up so high that I could relive my life with Matt, but each day that’s gone by this week, the more I realize I knew nothing about that man,” he wept.

“What’s going on?” the manager of the shop asked from the other side of the counter before she approached them. “There are no tears allowed in Sprinkles Cupcakes.”

“Guy troubles…Thorgy,” informed Dax after reading her nametag.

“Ugh, aren’t they the worst? So glad I’m a lesbian,” she chuckled.

As Jason continued to cry, his friend shot the woman a look. “He’s really fucked up for not telling you that she was pregnant.”

Thorgy gasped. “The t is hot!”

“Do you mind?” Dax scowled.

“Sorry,” she said as she took a few steps back.

“I hate this,” Jason groaned as the gleaming of his Rolex caught his attention. The boy immediately snatched the watch off and slammed it onto the table.

“Ooo, was that a gift from the guy?” Thorgy asked. “I’d totally smash it up and bake it into a cupcake and feed it to him,” she said before laughing maniacally.

“Can we please?” the brunette giggled as he wiped his eyes.

“I’ll get the hammer!” the woman beamed before rushing towards the back of the bakery.

“Jason, you can’t be serious.”

“Of course I won’t feed it to him, but how often do you get to make a Rolex cupcake? Spontaneity my dear,” he said with a smile, attempting to suppress all of his real feelings.

“I’ve created a monster,” Dax laughed.

“Haha!” they heard Thorgy squeal.

“What are we going to call this cupcake creation?”

“Your time is up,” the brunette chuckled.

“Dork! I love it!”

The friends burst into laughter and for a while, Jason’s mind was relieved of the soap opera that had become his life.

————-

Completely rattled, Kurtis quickly rushed across the parking lot of Sprinkles cupcakes and helped his wife into the passenger seat of their car before he climbed into the driver’s seat and sped away.

“In a hurry?” Courtney asked.

“No,” he blurted. “Why?”

“You have the hazard lights on and you keep checking the rearview mirror.”

“Oh.” The man pushed the button, turning off the lights before tightly gripping the steering wheel. So much was going through his mind, that he didn’t even notice his wife just staring at him.

“Where do you know Jason from?” she asked.

“Oh, um. He’s a paralegal from Brooklyn that I met awhile ago.”

“And you’re friends with him?”

“He’s an associate,” the man said with a shrug.

“Then what the hell was he so bitter about?”

“I don’t know, Court,” he groaned in exasperation.

“You know something. People don’t just act like that for no reason unless they’re crazy.”

“Then maybe he’s crazy! Are we going to talk about him the entire ride home?!” He exploded; half in frustration, half on purpose just for the sake of fighting so that he had a reason to leave as soon they arrived home.

“Don’t fucking yell at me, Kurtis. If you met a stranger saying ‘don’t rely on your wife’s promises’ you’d be confused too.”

“No, it’s just your hormones,” he said under his breath.

This statement always made her livid. She hated the fact that every time a woman made a valid point that a man didn’t like, they chalked it up to them being crazy or hormonal.

“Kurtis, we’ve been so good lately and I don’t want to fight, but you’re giving me no choice. Just take me home, and I don’t care what you do after that, but you can happily make your way to the sofa tonight.”

“Whatever, Courtney.”

“If I wasn’t pregnant, swear I’d kick your ass.”

“Being pregnant is all you know how to do,” he scoffed before instantly regretting it.

“Oh, yeah because I get myself pregnant all the time! You’re such a misogynistic asshole!”

“Baby, I’m sorry I didn’t mean that.”

“Who are you?! The man I married would never say anything like that to me!”

“It might sound pathetic, but baby I swear this heart has me going through things you wouldn’t imagine,” he groaned as he pulled into the driveway of their home.

“No, Kurtis, _you’re_ pathetic!” Courtney fumed as she undid her seatbelt, grabbing the cupcakes before swinging the door open in a fury.

“Can I at least have a cupcake?” the man asked timidly.

“No! These are now all my cupcakes since I’m _so_ hormonal and all I know how to do is get pregnant!” She slammed the car’s door and wobbled into the house.

“Damn, I really wanted a cupcake,” he sighed as he pulled out his phone. Kurtis knew there was no way Jason would answer, so he took to social media.

He checked Jason’s Instagram, but the boy didn’t have any new posts. So he found Dax’s profile. He’d posted a picture earlier that day of a palm tree captioned ‘Wtf is this? #weneedpalmtreesinbrooklyn #soicanfeellikeimalwaysinhawaii’ and the location pinned him at the Marriott hotel in downtown Los Angeles. Kurtis felt creepy, but he was desperate. He quickly reversed out of the driveway and sped down the street; with Courtney witnessing the entire ordeal through the slit in the curtains.

———–

Kurtis frantically crossed the hotel lobby over to the front desk.

“Hello, welcome to the Marriott. How may I help you?” the woman drawled as she played solitaire on the computer.

‘Hi, Ginger,” he panted. “I need the number to Jason Lent’s room.”

“You know that’s totally against the rules.”

“Yes, I know, but this is important. I’m in love with him and I’ve fucked things up so bad that if I don’t talk to him now, I’ll lose him forever.”

“Well this just got interesting,” the redhead chuckled. “How much do you love him?”

Kurtis immediately understood and pulled out his wallet. “I have about six hundred bucks in cash. Please.”

“That is a new Gucci purse and I will accept it,” she grinned.

The man slid the money across the counter and under her hand.”

“Room 301.”

“Thank you,” he said as he rushed towards the elevator.

——–

“This cupcake is perfection,” Dax chuckled as he sat it on the table between their hotel beds. “And the frosty is probably the only edible thing on here.”

“We’ll freeze it and eat it on our first anniversary,” Jason sighed as he flopped onto his bed, burying his face into his pillow when there was a knock at the door.

“Did you order room service?”

“I wish,” replied the brunette.

“Jason, it’s me,” Kurtis said from the other side of the door.

“How did he find us?” Jason whispered.

“I don’t know. Maybe he followed us.”

“I know you’re in there. Your cologne lingers in the best way.”

Dax rolled his eyes.

“Go away, Kurtis!” Jason fumed.

“Baby, can we just talk?”

“We have nothing to talk about.”

“I know I have a lot of explaining to do. Please…”

The brunette didn’t respond as he could feel himself waning.

“Pumpkin…”

When Jason’s eyes filled with tears, Dax immediately made his way over to him. “Jason, don’t fall for it. It’s gonna be the same old nonsense,” he said in attempt to reason with his friend, but once he looked at  him through the defeated expression, he knew it’d be futile.

“Can you just give us a minute?”

Dax nodded. “Don’t do anything that you don’t want to and don’t fall for any bullshit.”

“I won’t.” He gave his friend’s hand a firm squeeze before the boy made his way towards the door. When he opened it, Kurtis lost his balance and stumbled into the room.

“Shameful,” Dax hissed before leaving; closing the door behind him.

“Jason…” Kurtis exhaled, not knowing where to begin. “I am so sorry that I wasn’t completely honest with you.”

“I’m used to it by now.”

“I wanted to tell her…I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t stand hurting either of you.”

“How for along is she?”

“Thirteen weeks.”

“So it happened before you met me…”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “And yet I still didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Is there anything else that I need to know?”

“Only how much I love and want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Jason was becoming horrible at keeping his tears at bay, but he didn’t care anymore. He had no more walls or any vulnerability left to protect.

“I wish I could let you go,” the brunette sniffed, hoping that Matt, wherever he was, could hear it. “I just wish I could give you up,” he wept before he was wrapped in Kurtis’ strong arms.

The man passionately kissed him through the waterfall of tears and in the heat of the moment, clothing was torn off before they fell back onto the boy’s bed. Within minutes, their nude bodies were intertwined and they became enraptured by the intense connection they felt to one another as they made love.

When they couldn’t go anymore, the couple simply held each other. Forehead to forehead with interlocked fingers, the sensuality of staring into each other’s eyes was just as amazing as their sex and before they knew it, they’d fallen asleep.

——–

Courtney knew her husband was up to something and the argument in the car was just too dramatic, even for his new personality. She entered his cell phone number into an online tracker and the downtown hotel immediately showed as his location. The woman grabbed another cupcake and her keys before hopping into her Range Rover.

——–

The blonde woman waddled across the hotel’s lobby and approached the front desk.

“Welcome to the Marriott,” Ginger yawned. “How may I help you?”

“Okay, so I know my husband is here, I just need you to tell me who he is here with.”

“Why does everyone want me to do such illegal stuff today?” the redhead sighed.

“Listen, lady,” Courtney said sternly. “I’m pregnant with my fourth child and at only thirteen weeks, I feel like a fucking blimp. I’m showing more now than I did at six months with the first kid. The doctor says it’s because the body just knows where to fall now but I feel disgusting. My feet hurt, I want a double cheeseburger and I’m pretty sure my husband is in this hotel doing something that he has absolutely no business doing. I need you to give me information, _now_.”

“Hmm, you sound pretty desperate. Even more desperate than the crazy guy who ran in here about two hours ago…I’d love to tell you all about it, but my feet hurt too. They cry from a lack of being snuggled in Louboutins…”

Courtney rolled her eyes and placed her purse on the counter. “How much?”

A grin spread across the redhead’s face as she pulled out her calculator.

By the time she was finished, Courtney had coerced a story and a key to room 301 out of the receptionist at the low price of two thousand dollars, but to the blonde, her family was on the line and it was worth it. Her heart pounded against her chest as she made her way to the elevator and to the designated door. With a shaky hand, she lifted the key and placed it in the electronic slot.

After the beep and the green light confirmed that it was unlocked, Courtney slowly turned the handle and entered the room. The sight of her naked husband laying in bed, affectionately cuddled up with another man, was enough to make her blood curdle.

“ _Kurtis_!” the woman shrieked in horror.

Startled, both her husband and Jason jumped up. The brunette quickly grabbed the sheets to cover himself while his lover jumped out of the bed and retrieved his boxers; pleading to his wife to let him explain.

“There’s nothing to explain!” she wept. “You’re a liar and a cheater and disgusting! Have you always slept with men?!”

“No, just recently and only Jason. But just hear me out.”

“No! You’re a pathetic excuse for a human being and I want nothing to do with you! I’m taking my children and I’m leaving!”

“Courtney, you can’t do that!”

Jason felt helpless as he watched the ordeal unfold.

“You can’t take my kids away from me!”

“You obviously don’t care about me or the kids, if you did, you wouldn’t be here right now! You don’t spend any time with them and now I see why,” she wailed. “Stay away from us!” Courtney turned to leave but Kurtis grabbed her arm to stop her.

“Courtney, please,” he begged. “I’ll do whatever you want but please don’t take the kids. They mean more to me than anything else in this world and I couldn’t live if you left with them.”

His wife snatched her arm away. “You left us first,” she sniffled before storming out of the room.

The man followed her. “Court, wait!”

“Leave me alone, Kurtis! You’ve caused eno- Ow, ow,” she whimpered, cradling her stomach as the sharp pains radiated through her uterus. “Fuck,” the woman cried as she doubled over.

“What’s wrong?!” Her husband was immediately at her side, attempting to help her, but she steadily pushed him away, until the pain became nearly unbearable. She gripped his arm, piercing his skin with her nails but the man didn’t care as he shouted for someone to call an ambulance.

By the time the paramedics arrived, Jason didn’t know what to do, but he knew Kurtis would be riding to the hospital with his wife and he didn’t want the man to go in his underwear; he’d already been through enough. So he wrapped himself in the sheet, grabbed his lover’s t shirt and jeans before rushing into the hall. As Courtney was being strapped to the gurney, Jason handed the man his clothes.

“Thank you,” Kurtis sniveled. “I’ll call you.” He gave his boyfriend’s hand a firm squeeze before following the first responders out of the hotel.

———-

Jason called his best friend in distress and Dax immediately stopped his makeout session with the hot waiter he’d met at the hotel’s bar and returned. Detail by detail, the brunette relayed what’d happened.

“Please spare me of ‘I told you so’ and all phrases of that nature, I already feel like complete shit,” he groaned as he paced the room. “If she loses her baby, I’ll never forgive myself.”

“Jason, you can not blame yourself for something like that.”

“I should’ve just left Kurtis alone, but I’m a selfish whore who honestly doesn’t even deserve happiness.”

“You sound like a Tumblr quote. Everyone deserves happiness, babe.”

“Not me,” he groaned before his phone began to ring. It didn’t get to chirp a second time before it was clutched in both of Jason’s hands and pressed against his ear. “Kurtis, is everything okay?” he asked frantically.

“Yes,” the man sighed in relief. “Courtney and the baby are fine. It was intense cramps…brought on by stress…”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have let this go on for so long.”

“What’s going to happen now?”

“I have no idea. She doesn’t want to see me. I hate that it happened this way…”

“Me too.”

“When do you leave town?”

“Tomorrow morning.”

“I’m going to stay here until she checks out. She has to talk to me eventually. I want us to be on the same page about everything, especially the children.”

“Of course. Do you need me to bring you anything?”

“No, thanks. I’m fine. Plus, I don’t think that’d be the best idea…”

“I understand,” he replied in a broken voice. “So I guess I’ll see you when I see you…”

“Yeah.”

“I love you…”

“I love you too. I’m so sorry,” he exhaled before hanging up.

——-

Jason was too numb to cry anymore and he spent his last day in Los Angeles cuddled up with his best friend as they ate fried ice cream and watched _Clueless_. The next morning, they returned to Brooklyn and the brunette immediately called David Petruschin.

With the practically useless mortgage confirmation in hand, the brunette locked the door to his home and dragged himself to the curb as the black Lincoln town car with extremely tinted windows pulled up and the man stepped out.

“This is the fanciest taxi I’ve ever seen,” Jason declared.

“This is not your average taxi service. Remember our motto?”

“Something about court and keeping secrets, yeah.”

“Precisely,” the man grinned. “Which doesn’t come cheap, _but_ , you’re Matt’s widow so it’s on the house.”

“Thank you so much. Was he involved in some secret mafia nonsense or something?”

“Ha! He wished. I will take you on the exact route we’d take, stop at every stop we’d stop at and tell you everything that he told me. Ready for a road trip?”

Jason nodded and the man opened the door for him before climbing into the driver’s seat and speeding off.

As they made their way across the state, David told Jason things that he already knew. How he and Matt met, how he proposed, and the fun things that they did together, but the stories were embellished with exaggerated details only Matt could come up with.

“How often would you guys make this trip?” the brunette asked.

“Twice a week.”

“So I’m guessing he’d skip work and the nights he claimed to be with friends, he was with you.”

“Yep. Not really a lie since we did become friends…I still can’t believe he’s gone.”

“You were the last person to see him alive,” Jason said, barely audible.

“Yeah and I’ll never forget it. We were talking and he started complaining about a headache. I offered him some Advil and he took them but they didn’t help. He told me not to worry and we continued to talk and whatnot and before I knew it, he went quiet. I glanced back and it just looked like he’d just fallen asleep, so I didn’t make a big deal about it. But when we got to Brooklyn, I tried to wake him by calling his name. He didn’t respond. So I pulled over and saw that he wasn’t breathing…”

Both David and Jason tried to keep the tears at bay but it was damn near impossible as he continued to speak.

“Um, I-I instantly called 911,” he relayed in a broken voice. “And they talked me through the steps on how to give CPR. He had a very faint pulse, so I did everything they told me to until they arrived and they whisked him away,” he sniffled. “That was the last time I saw him.”

The brunette didn’t bother wiping his eyes as he placed his head against the black window. “What was the last thing he said?”

“His exact words were, ‘Dude, I’m so glad to be finished and I can’t wait for him to see it’. He was talking about you.”

“He couldn’t wait for me to see what?” the brunette asked urgently.

“You’ll see,” David assured.

Jason took a deep breath and closed his eyes as they drove for an undetermined amount of time before the man stopped the car in front of a small building.

“This is the bank he went through to get the mortgage. We stopped here every trip so that he could make payments. He didn’t go to your bank or you’d find out and everything would be ruined.”

“I would’ve ruined everything?” Jason asked in disbelief.

“Yes.”

“How so?!” the brunette demanded.

“Matt said you had a temper,” he chuckled. “The house is only a few blocks away now.”

Jason rolled down his tinted window and gazed at the beauty at the perfectly manicured neighborhood. The streets were lined with maple trees and each massive house they passed, varied in style, but they all seemed to sit on at least ten acres of land.

“This is so beautiful,” the brunette exhaled. David drove for a few more seconds before turning onto the long winding driveway that led up to the house that made Jason’s jaw drop. “No fucking way,” he gasped. “This can’t be the house.”

“More like a mansion,” the man laughed as he parked in front of the three car garaged attached to the enormous, beige stoned home. With multiple turrets topped with black slated peaks and massive windows that were strategically placed to capture as much light that every sunrise would bring, the house looked just like a Disney castle and was nothing less than spectacular.

“This is insane,” he said as he took in every detail. “And Matt owned this?”

“You own it. It’s in your name.”

Jason looked at him through wide eyes. Speechless and confused, the brunette tried to arranged his thoughts but David spoke again.

“The key is under the mat! Go look at your house!” he cackled. “I’m gonna stay out here and smoke.”

The boy nervously approached the home…his home, taking the wide limestone steps to the black double doors. He reached under the mat that read _Welcome!_ and retrieved the key that was an appropriate shade of gold and with shaking hands, he unlocked the ornate knob.

Once he pushed the door opened, the com

 

 

 

bination of new house and fresh paint smells greeted him. It held his attention for only a second before the grandeur of the two story foyer and massive crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling overwhelmed his senses. “Oh my God,” he whispered.

As he walked further into the place, Jason knew exactly how Alice felt when she entered Wonderland. The height of the two story foyer continued into the formal living. The area was void of all furnishings, but the boy appreciated the beauty of the mahogany stained flooring, bright white crown molding that gave it a vintage flare, and the beige colored walls. The house was clearly designed to suit the brunette’s tastes but there wasn’t a trace of Matt until he spotted the navy blue painted calligraphy above the fireplace that read, _A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes…_

“Only you would do such a thing!” Jason giggled out loud. “That’s beautiful.”

The boy continued on into the kitchen, all beige with pops of red, the space was designed for a world class chef and the brunette immediately fell in love. When he saw, _Whistle While You Work_ painted in scarlet across the vent hood above the stove, he smiled and shook his head.

Jason couldn’t wait to see the rest of the house and eagerly rushed towards the massive spiral staircase, taking the steps two at a time until he made his way into the next hallway. There, painted in the aqua blue shade that Jason loved so much, was _It Only Gets Better…_

The boy burst into tears. “How?” he wept. “You’re not here.” It took the boy a minute to compose himself before he was able to go on. He passed at least three bedrooms, all hand painted in their designated Disney theme. Jason loved that the cylindrical tower shaped room belonged to Rapunzel and the _Hakuna Matata: It Means No Worries For The Rest Of Your Days_ , painted in another room brought him an immense amount of comfort.

In total, Jason had counted five bedrooms, four bathrooms and hundreds of square feet of empty space waiting to be filled with furniture and a family. The brunette traveled down the last hallway, stopping in front of the navy blue double doors that were gilded in gold trim and painted in white in the middle of them was Matt’s favorite Walt Disney quote.

_Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, dreams are forever._

Jason took a deep breath before opening the door, and he was surprised that this room had no obvious theme, but instead it was more sophisticated with the same warm shades of beige that were in the main areas of the house. The brunette figured that Matt knew he’d want to wake up to a more peaceful setting everyday,  but in the artist’s favorite color, above where Jason assumed the bed would go, read,  _Second Star To The Right and Straight On Til Morning._

“You just couldn’t help yourself,” Jason chuckled before finally noticing the night sky painted ceiling. He closed his eyes and imagined how Matt looked as he painted each little star one by one; beautifully crooked smile plastered across his face.

The knock on the door behind him snapped the brunette back to reality. He quickly turned around to find David.

“Sorry for interrupting. Just thought I’d check on you.”

“This is so breathtaking, I can’t…”

“Yeah,” the man sighed as he looked up at the ceiling. “There are fiberoptic lights in each star by the way, they had to be installed before Matt painted, so at night, it really looks like the sky. It’s fucking beautiful. That kid was so talented.”

Jason exhaled as he moved to the window, catching a full view of the vast land that was the back yard. The perfectly manicured landscaping stretched out among the acres, all the way to the edge of the Skaneateles lake. The property was a stunning as it sat  in Upstate New York with six bedrooms next to the water’s edge, just what the brunette had told Matt he’d always wanted. Jason was having a hard time believing this was real.

“He came here twice a week for three years fixing this place up,” David continued. “He said it was both of your dreams meshed into one and I told him how disgustingly romantic it was,” he chuckled.

“It’s perfect.”

“Yeah…have you seen the garage?”

“No.”

“Well come on! That’s the best part!” David quickly led the brunette down the hall, back down the spiral staircase and to the white door off of the kitchen. “After you.”

Jason slowly grabbed the handle and turned the knob. When he saw the room, it wasn’t the realistically painted road that started from the floor and stretched seamlessly up the wall that made him gasp, but the fully restored, cream colored 1946 Packard convertible that was parked in the spot.

“Oh my God,” Jason cried into his hands. “Why is he doing this to me?”

David simply smiled.

“I can’t take anything else,” the boy sniffled as he reluctantly approached his dream car. He opened the door and slowly slid in, instantly feeling like a Golden Age movie star. Jason rubbed the smooth leather of the steering wheel before he noticed the folded piece of paper placed on the passenger seat. He immediately picked it up and began to read the sloppy, handwritten note.

_Hello Pumpkin!_

_I hope you love this house and your new car. It means everything to me to be able to see at least three of your dreams come true._

  1. _This amazing vintage Disney castle_
  2. _Me loving you forever because who doesn’t want that_
  3. _Kids, because I’m pretty sure I impregnated you last night_



_Anyways, there is no rush to move in, but once I learned this is what you wanted, I had to get it done as soon as possible because I love you more than ~~pizza~~. Pepperoni pizza! AND CANDY! You’ve filled my world with enough sunshine and rainbows to last me a lifetime ❤︎  
_

_But enough with those cooties. If you are reading this right now, I probably have about fifteen seconds to hide because you’re bound to come after me. I have flattened all four tires on your new car because I know you don’t know how to change them! MUHAHAHAHA! This place is like 8,000 square feet, so good luck finding me! >:]  I’m imagining your expression right now and it’s cracking me up. So just know that wherever I am, I’m laughing my ass off._

_P.S._

_I farted on your seat._

_-Love Matt_

Jason burst into laughter. “What a jerk.” He exited the car and sure enough, the vehicle had four flat tires. “I love how you manage to be a brat even now.”

The brunette was so touched. This entire house was Matt. He didn’t have to look for him, the boy’s spirit lingered everywhere.

He walked through the placed once more, falling even deeper in love before he asked David to take him to the bank down the street. Although he’d never met the people inside, once he said his name, they all gushed about how much they’d heard about him. They told stories of how Matt came in every week, paying off the mortgage bit by bit and how funny he was.

As a loan officer himself, Jason asked for the financial information on the home, and when they gave him a print out, his jaw dropped. The house was valued at nearly four million dollars. All of Matt’s secrets were coming to light; every extra cent went into the house and the brunette couldn’t believe the boy wouldn’t just tell him. But knowing that his husband had been a stickler for surprises, Jason finally let it go.

For the first time in years, his mind was completely at ease as he climbed back into the Lincoln town car and began to make the long drive back to Brooklyn.

——–

As Matt’s widow, Jason had a steady income from the percentage of the profits from artists that worked out of RuGala Art studios, which he donated to charities that supported young artists. The boy wasn’t quite ready to move into his new home, but he steadily bought furniture that he thought suited each room.

He hadn’t properly talked to Kurtis weeks when he decided to call the man. Jason had no idea where they stood and he didn’t even think he’d answer the phone, but he was relieved when he did.

“Hello?” he wheezed.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine… how are you?”

“I’m actually really good. I just registered for culinary school and I’ve come to terms with a lot of things, but some stuff is still waning on my mind and I was hoping that you’d be able to help me with them.”

“Sure,” he said before coughing.

“Kurtis, you’re not ‘fine’. What’s wrong?”

There was a long silence before the man answered. “Courtney took the kids to Australia.”

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry. What are you going to do?”

“The first thing that crossed my mind, was maybe it’s better this way. We can finally be together, but since I was so irresponsible when we were married, this is the time to redeem myself.”

A chill shot down Jason’s spine as he felt he was listening to Matt himself; words spoken directly from the boy’s heart.

“Everything I did was for you, but I could have gone about it a different way.”

“No, it was me putting too much pressure on you. You didn’t need to grow up. Because that’s what’s wrong with the world, right? People grow up,” he quoted Disney.  “I grew to love it,” Jason assured. “Because it was you. And my biggest fear is that you left this world thinking I wanted you to change,” he sniffled.

“Nah, you didn’t want me to change, you wanted me to wash the dishes.” Matt’s musical laughter sounded over the phone’s receiver and the hair on the back of the brunette’s neck stood up. “I love you, Pumpkin” was whispered followed by violent coughing.

“Matt?” Jason asked in a hopefully broken voice.

“No, babe. It’s Kurtis.”

“Right,” he sighed. “Have you been to the doctor?”

“I have.”

“And?”

“The heart is rejecting my body…”

“Oh my God, Kurtis. How did this happened? What can we do?”

“It’s just a risk I had to take when I got the transplant. Nothing I can do, but more medicine, more hospitals and less freedom,” he chuckled before sighing. “It’s like the moment we separated, this heart wanted nothing to do with me.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m coming to see you.”

“I’d love that…but I’m going to Australia and  I’m not coming back until I have my family.”

Jason was hurt, but he knew this was the right thing. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks, Pumpkin.”

“I’m finally able to let you go,” he said through happy tears.

“Don’t think of it as letting go, think of it as pressing forward. We have nothing but good things ahead of us.”

——-

Maybe they’d meet again, in this world or the next, but the love between Jason and his Matthew surpassed lifetimes.

 


End file.
